How are you, did you have a good weekend?
Yeah, I did. Everything's good?
Mm-hmm. Life is fine?
Very good.
'Cause I've been hard at work, you know?
[Andy] Oh, that's right.
(laughs) You don't care at all.
I mean-- This is true.
You know, a lot of people, I'm constantly thinking of ways
to make the show more exciting and dynamic
in whatever way I can before we give up completely
and get into the auto business.
[Andy] Mm-hmm.
And anyway, what I thought I'd do
is the big thing today are psychics.
Psychics are the big thing.
You know, there's the psychic hotline, psychic friends.
Everyone's talking about psychics.
Psychics make up half the guests on the daytime talk shows.
[Andy] It's true.
And so I thought, let's do something with psychics
on this show, so ladies and gentlemen, I went out
into New York City and I actually talked
to all of the most prominent psychics
that we could find in the Yellow Pages
to try and find out anything we could just about,
are these people legit? Yeah.
How's the show gonna be doing in the future?
What's gonna happen?
And we found out some pretty impressive stuff.
So ladies and gentlemen, enjoy my visit
with the psychics of New York City.
Okay, I'm sitting here right now
with Astounding Velma, is that correct?
Velma, V-E-L-M-A, Velma.
V-E, Velma. You got it.
And it's astounding. I'm very astounding.
Hmm. I always have been.
And you are a palmist, is that right?
I'm a palmist, I do magic, I do palmistry,
and I do a mind reading act
which we call transmission of thoughts.
Hmm, so this is the human hand right here.
Yeah, now, these lines actually,
this one happens to be the line of heart,
the line of emotions.
[Conan] This is the heart line right here.
Uh-huh, this is the line of head, intelligence.
This is the line of success.
This is the line of life, but there are many other aspects.
This is the line of-- You got it.
Tic-tac-toe. No.
I'll go first, then you. (audience laughing)
Here we go, wait a minute, what about here?
Oh, interesting, and then I'll go here.
And I'll go-- (screams) No!
[Psychic] A light-haired female will come into your life
that you'll care about.
[Conan] Hmm, that would be Uma Thurman, wouldn't it?
I don't know who that is.
Hmm, I'll take what you said as meaning Uma Thurman.
Do you know if she's born in a summer month?
I don't know, she won't return my calls.
Okay, let's get into it.
Would you tell me your birthday?
April 18th, 4/18/63.
[Psychic] Your minor number is a one
which means you're a leader, not a follower.
[Conan] Yes, I'm a leader.
That's right, you are, but your major number
is a five and five is the number of communications.
[Conan] May I ask you what year you were born in?
1930. You were born in 1930.
Let me show you something right here.
All right. Okay, 1930, all right?
Okay. Now, you said eight
is the number of power-- Power, money.
Okay, eight goes into 19 how many times?
It goes in two, right?
Two you said was the number for growth.
Action. Action, all right.
Yeah. How many ones are there
in two? Two.
[Conan] That's two, but there are two what's in two?
Two ones, that gives us a one. (audience laughing)
I mean, one is your number, right?
Yeah. The loneliest number.
(audience laughing) That's really different.
I noticed something about your hand
which is very interesting.
Yeah, I'm putting Vaseline on it, it's clearing up.
No, this is-- Oh, this.
[Velma] This is the Mount of Venus.
[Conan] What does that mean?
The mount of love, sympathy,
passion, virility, and sensuality.
I like to call it love. That's what it is.
Yeah, mm. (growls seductively)
Oh. (audience laughing)
Should we go on?
Mm, keep doing that.
You like that, and notice it's getting higher and higher.
It's getting bigger and bigger.
(audience laughing)
How crass, oh Velma.
How does this work?
Do I-- You drink.
I never, you drink the tea? Mm-hmm.
Then how do you read the tea leaves?
'Cause the tea leaves will stay at the bottom.
I'll show you.
Oh, so I gotta drink the whole cup of tea first
before we can even get started.
Yeah. Mm.
Would you like some candies with it?
You must enjoy it and also concentrate.
I don't enjoy anything.
I was raised Irish-Catholic, I'm very uptight.
What I see, with the next three years mostly
is a lot of parties and happy occasions,
that people are there and it's wild.
Parties, I'm at parties?
Is James Caan there?
I don't see James Caan there.
[Conan] Okay, now your name is.
Bahar. Babar?
Oh please, Bahar. Bahar, I'm sorry.
I didn't know, I swear, I didn't--
Do I look like an elephant? (audience laughing)
That's interesting, there are holy, magical cards
but you shuffle them just like it's a cheap game of poker.
You will be will living-- (screams) Skull!
Look at that! (screams)
Look at that, what does that mean?
It's, that's, I don't know much about tarot cards,
but you can't tell me one with a big skull on it is good.
That's gotta be a bad card. No, it's a very good card.
Really?
[Bahar] Especially with medical students.
You and your confounded jokes.
So did you say I was gonna be in a car accident, no?
I said be careful not to be. Well, thank you.
(audience laughing) Gee, great, that's worth
whatever you're asking.
What is all this stuff right here?
My home is my palace in reality.
Does Major Healey know that you have this?
I would think he'd be kind of upset, Jeannie!
This is my Aladdin's lamp.
And in one of my magic acts when I rub the lamp it did,
the Aladdin came out. Wow, look at this.
It's got a toggle switch.
[Velma] Oh, now you're giving away the secrets!
This is the early '60s version of it.
Look at that right there.
And we noticed when I came in here
there's a secret compartment here.
That's a secret--
Where does this lead right now?
[Velma] Don't open it, don't open it.
[Conan] Where does it go, why, is there someone in here?
[Velma] Oh gosh, don't open it!
(psychedelic music)
(screaming) (audience laughing)
I want to look into the ball now
because I want you to tell me the biggest thing in my life
is my TV show. Yes.
It means everything to me. Yes.
And for a TV show to be successful
you have to get good guests. Yes.
And I want you to look into the ball right now
and I want you to tell me, what's the biggest guest
that I can expect to come on my show in the next month?
Conan, I'll be appearing. (laughs)
We'll have fun, fun, fun. (audience applauding)
All right, well that was a lot of fun,
but I think we found out once and for all
that those fortune tellers are way off base,
didn't we, Andy? Yes, definitely.
(screaming) (audience applauding)
[Conan] (laughs) It's Abe Vigoda, thanks, Abe!