OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS ONE
OF THE FUNNIEST MEN ALIVE, IT
EVEN SAYS SO ON HIS LICENSE
PLATE FRAME.
YOU CAN SEE HIM ALONGSIDE HIS
FRIEND STEVE MARTIN ON THEIR
COMEDY TOUR "NOW YOU SEE THEM,
SOON YOU WON'T."
IT WILL BE AT THE GREEK THEATER
HERE IN LOS ANGELES JULY 16TH.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO
MARTIN SHORT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Jimmy: NOW THAT'S AN
ENTRANCE, YOU KNOW?
>> WHEN DID YOU, YOU HAVE A
BAND, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
IS THIS NEW?
>> Jimmy: THEY'VE BEEN HERE FOR
A WHILE NOW, LIKE SINCE THE
BEGINNING.
>> HI, JAMES, YOU LOOK
FANTASTIC.
>> Jimmy: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC,
PLEASE.
>> TELL EVERYONE WHAT YOU WERE
SAYING TO ME BACKSTAGE.
SO YOU THINK LORI LAUGHLIN DID
NOTHING WRONG?
>> Jimmy: I'M JUST SAYING, SHE
LOVES HER CHILDREN, THAT'S ALL.
>> I GUESS, I GUESS.
I LOVE THIS SHOW.
THE BACK STAGE VIBE, IT'S VERY
HANDMAIDS TALE BACK THERE.
>> Jimmy: REWE LIKE TO KEEP
EVERYONE IN THEIR PLACE, YOU
KNOW?
>> I'M SO EXCITED.
I'M DOING FALLON IN TWO WEEKS,
AND THERE'S NO PLACE TO WORK UP
MATERIAL.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES.
>> YOU LOOK, WHEN DID YOU BECOME
A SPECIMEN?
LOOK AT YOU.
YOU LOOK LIKE, YOU HAVE THAT
WHOLE JULIAN ASSANGE DRAGNET OF
AN EMBASSY LOOK.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK WONDERFUL YOURSELF.
>> AND YOU HAVE THE WHOLE JOE
BIDEN SNIFFABLE HAIR.
AND FOR A GUY WHO DOES AS MUCH
METH AS YOU, YOUR TEETH ARE
FABULOUS.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR SAYING
THAT, I APPRECIATE THAT.
>> YOU LOOK LIKE GEORGE CLOONEY,
IF GEORGE'S MOM HAD DRANK DURING
HER PREGNANCY.
>> Jimmy: I'M PRETTY SURE
GEORGE'S MOM DID DRINK DURING
HER PREGNANCY.
IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU, TOO.
>> GOOD SEE YOU.
>> Jimmy: YOU LOOK FABULOUS.
I LIKE TO THANK YOU OFF
TELEVISION, BUT IT DOESN'T COUNT
UNLESS YOU DO IT ON TELEVISION.
I WANT TO ON TV THANK YOU FOR MY
WIFE AND THE TWO LITTLE PEOPLE
WHO CAME OUT OF HER FOR THE
VISIT TO YOUR HOME.
>> I LOVE THAT YOU SAY INVITED.
I DON'T REMEMBER THAT PART.
BUT I REMEMBER YOU WERE THERE,
AND YOU BROUGHT THE LITTLE ONES,
AND THE THREE BEAUTIFUL OLDER
SISTERS, KIM, KHLOE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S AN ENTIRELY
DIFFERENT FAMILY, DIFFERENT
PEOPLE.
>> THAT WAS FUN.
>> Jimmy: IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.
BEAUTIFUL UP THERE.
>> I HAVE A COTTAGE ON A LAKE.
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW THAT IT
SHOULD BE CALLED COT ATAGE.
IT'S A HOME, IT'S A HOUSE.
>> IT'S OLD.
IT'S VERY OLD.
>> Jimmy: IT'S OLD, YEAH.
>> BUILT IN 1901.
BUT IT'S FABULOUS, AND MOLLY HAD
SO MUCH FUN UP THERE.
>> Jimmy: MY WIFE.
YEAH.
>> I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE GO
THROUGH A CASE OF YELLOWTAIL IN
ONE SITTING.
THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
>> Jimmy: YELLOWTAIL.
>> REMEMBER, WE WENT OUT ON THAT
BOAT?
>> Jimmy: OH, YES.
>> JUST MOLL, YOU AND ME, AND
YOU SAID CAN YOU HELP ME PULL
OFF A ROBERT WAGNER?
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE
TALKING ABOUT.
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO
BE PRIVATE BETWEEN US.
SPEAKING OF THE BOAT, WELL, THIS
IS, THESE ARE SOME PHOTOGRAPHS
THAT WE COLLECTED FROM THE TRIP.
>> NOW THIS IS YOUNG THEO,
JEFF'S SON.
>> WAS THAT HIS FIRST FISH?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> DID YOU HELP HIM PULL IT IN?
>> Jimmy: WELL, I HIPPEDELPED HG
IT UP.
IT'S HIS FISH.
>> A HANDSOME BOY, JEFFREY.
>> Jimmy: A GREAT KID.
WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
>> THIS IS, I WOULD CALL, I'M
GOING TO TAKE A STAB IN THE DARK
AND SAY YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD A
COCKTAIL THE NIGHT BEFORE.
POSSIBLY.
>> Jimmy: POSSIBLY.
>> AND WHY ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN
MY BATHROBE?
THAT'S JUST WRONG ON SO MANY
LEVELS.
>> Jimmy: I THOUGHT IT WAS AN
INVITATION TO DO SO.
>> NOT THE BATHROBE.
IT WAS THE MORNING.
>> Jimmy: NOW THIS ROBE
SPECIFICALLY, THIS WAS, CORRECT
ME IF I'M WRONG, STOLEN FROM A
HOTEL?
>> YES, IT WAS.
>> Jimmy: ON DID SOMEONE ELSE
HAVE THE INCIDENTALS TAKEN CARE
OF.
>> STOLEN.
IT'S THE LAST LITTLE SPECK OF
YOUTH THAT I HAVE.
>> Jimmy: AND REALLY THE MVP OF
THE WHOLE WEEK WAS PAUL SHAFER
WHO WAS VERY ENTERTAINING.
DOES HE COME TO YOUR HOUSE A
LOT?
>> HE'S ONE OF MY OLDEST
FRIENDS, I MET HIM IN '72.
AND EVEN THEN, HE LOOKED LIKE A
MATER D IN A SPACESHIP.
THIS IS A VALID THING.
SOME PEOPLE LOOK LIKE THEIR HIGH
SCHOOL PHOTOS.
PAUL LOOKS LIKE HIS SONOGRAM.
>> Jimmy: PAUL WAS A LOT OF FUN.
>> PAUL WAS HILARIOUS.
>> Jimmy: ALSO FUN, AND I LOVE
THAT YOU STILL HANG AROUND.
BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW, I'M A GREAT
AD
ADMIRER OF SCTV.
IT'S ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE
SHOWS.
KATHRYN O'HARA AND EUGENE LEVY.
>> KATHRYN HAS A COT TAGE WITH
HER HUSBAND BO WELCH ON THE
LAKE.
>> Jimmy: WHEN WE LEFT, WE GOT
ON THE PLANE AFTERWARDS, AND MY
DAUGHTER WHO WAS 3 1/2 AT THE
TIME.
WE ARE WATCHING "SCHITT'S
CREEK."
AND MY DAUGHTER LOOKS AT IT AND
GOES HEY, THAT'S THE GUY WITH
THE BIG BLACK EYEBROWS, EUGENE,
WE KNOW HIM.
>> EUGENE SAYS HIS EYEBROWS HAVE
THEIR OWN AGENT.
>> Jimmy: I HEAR HIS EYEBROWS
HAVE FIRED THAT AGENT.
>> IT'S A WHOLE NEW THING, A
WR
WRITER THING.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK OF
YOURSELF AS A CANADIAN AMERICAN
OR AMERICAN CANADIAN?
>> I'M CANADIAN AMERICAN.
I HAVE A BRITISH PASSPORT AND
IRISH PASSPORT.
BUT I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN
CANADA AND AM A PROUD AMERICAN
CITIZEN.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE TOO MANY
PASSPORTS.
>> I DON'T THINK SO.
I'D LIKE TO GET MORE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO BE
ILLEGAL.
CAN'T YOU ONLY HAVE TWO?
>> NOT IF YOU'RE FAMOUS.
>> Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT?
>> NOT IF YOU'RE FAMOUS.
HEY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH
MONEY I HAD TO BRIBE THIS GUY TO
GET MY KIDS INTO COMMUNITY
COLLEGE.
IT IS TOUGH OUT THERE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THEY SAY IT'S TOUGHER
TO GET INTO THOSE COMMUNITY
COLLEGES.
>> IT IS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE WITH OUR
ELECTION?
THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE
RUNNING FOR OFFICE NOW.
>> IT IS UNBELIEVABLE.
THERE ARE SO MANY NAMES.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK JOE BIDEN
FOR INSTANCE HAS THE BEST SHOT
AT WINNING THE DEMOCRAT
NOMINATION?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, HE ALMOST HAD
TO PULL OUT FROM SOMETHING THAT
HE HADN'T SAID HE WAS IN YET.
YOU KNOW.
AND HE'S BEEN UNDER SUCH STRESS,
AND I THINK HE GAVE HIMSELF A
PERSONAL MASSAGE AND HELPED HIM
RELIEVE THAT STRESS.
>> Jimmy: MM-HM.
>> I THINK I LIKE BETO.
>> Jimmy: BETO O'ROURKE.
>> NOBODY SAYS SLAM DUNK TO ME
THAN A MAN WHO ALMOST BEAT TED
CRUZ.
THAT'S LIKE A GUY IN A GILLETTE
COMMERCIAL.
>> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT PETE
BUTTIGIEG.
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE
HIS NAME.
IS IT PETE-TAR?
I FIND IT REALLY CONFUSING.
I'M GOING TO VOTE FOR HIM JUST
TO SEE MIKE PENCE'S HEAD
EXPLODE.
>> Jimmy: AND WHO ELSE.
ELIZABETH WARREN IS ONE OF THE
BIG ONES.
>> I KNOW YOU CALL HER
POCAHONTAS, BUT I DON'T.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT ME.
THAT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT GUY,
YEAH, YEAH.
>> I'M FOR ANYONE WHO'S ROCKING
MY HAIRDO FROM THE '80S.
SHE LOOKS LIKE MRS. DUMPFIRE ON
ATKINS.
>> Jimmy: GOOD, I'M GLAD WE WENT
THROUGH ALL OF THEM.
>> NO, NO.
LISTEN.
IT'S MORE, YOU KNOW, THERE'S SO
MANY PEOPLE, SO MANY DIVERSE AND
FASCINATING PEOPLE.
IT'S ALMOST MORE INTERESTING TO
LIST WHO'S PERSON WHO ISN'T
RUNNING.
>> Jimmy: WHO IS IT?
JUSSIE SMOL LETT.
>> Jimmy: WOULD JUSSIE HAVE YOUR
SUPPORT?
>> OH, HE WOULD, AFTER WHAT HE'S
BEEN THROUGH?
>> Jimmy: MARTIN SHORT!
YOU CAN SEE MARTIN SHORT AND
STEVE MARTIN ON THEIR LIVE
IT'S A TWO-MAN SHOW, RIGHT?
>> STEVE'S AGENT DOESN'T REALLY
TOUR, HE JUST WANDERS OFF, BUT
WE CATCH HIM, WE BRING HIM BACK.
>> Jimmy: YOU AND STEVE REALLY
LOVE EACH OTHER.
>> I ADORE STEVE.
HE'S LIKE, TO ME, I LOVE HIM
LIKE A RICH OLDER BROTHER.
THERE'S NO BETTER FRIEND, UNLESS
YOU NEED A FAVOR.
>> Jimmy: STEVE, NO, DON'T GO TO
STEVE IF YOU NEED SOMETHING.
>> ESPECIALLY MONEY.
>> Jimmy: ONE OF THE GREATEST
THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN IS YOU'VE
GOT THIS AMAZON DEVICE, A TV
VERSION OF ALEXA, RIGHT?
>> IT'S ECHO.
>> Jimmy: AND RIGHT NOW BY THE
WAY, THEY'RE ALL GOING OFF AT
PEOPLE'S HOMES.
AMAZON, BUY CAULIFLOWER.
OKAY.
BUT SO YOU, WHEN YOU'RE WORKING
WITH STEVE OR WHENEVER, YOU JUST
SAY --
>> ECHO, DROP IN ON STEVE
MARTIN.
AND SUDDENLY, STEVE WILL COME
UP.
>> Jimmy: AND HE'S THERE.
IT DOESN'T EVEN ASK HIS PE
PERMISSION IF YOU CAN LOOK IN ON
HIM.
>> NO, AND THAT'S WHAT I LIKE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S VERY STAR TREK.
IT'S LIKE SUDDENLY STEVE'S
THERE.
>> OH, MY GOD, I'VE SEEN HIM
WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES ON, THAT'S
AS WHITE AS YOU CAN GET.
IN THE '830s I THINK I ONCE TRID
TO SNORT HIM.
HE'S THE HUMAN EMBODIMENT OF
UTAH.
WE MAKE AN AGREEMENT THAT
SOMEONE CAN DROP IN.
IT'S A GREAT WAY TO WRITE.
WE HAD ONE IN THE COTTAGE, AND
WE WERE SAYING DROP IN ON STEVE.
>> Jimmy: AND SUDDENLY THERE WAS
STEVE.
AND I THOUGHT OH, MY GOD, I HOPE
STEVE'S NOT UP TO SOMETHING
WEIRD RIGHT NOW.
>> I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PHONED
HIM AND TOLD HIM.
BUT I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD BE UP
TO SOMETHING WEIRD.
>> Jimmy: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING THIS PARTICULAR SHOW?
>> THIS VERSION OF THE SHOW, I
WOULD SAY, IS THE NEW VERSION.
THE POST-NETFLIX SHOW, ABOUT 60%
DIFFERENT MATERIAL FROM THAT.
BUT WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS OFF
AND ON FOR THREE YEARS, FOUR
YEARS.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU DINE TOGETHER
ON THE ROAD?
>> IT'S ALL ABOUT THE HANG.
I'VE GOT THE RENT COVERED.
IT'S REALLY ABOUT, IS IT FUN TO
DO?
AND JEFF BABKO IS WITH US.
WE HAVE A GREAT REHEARSAL AND GO
OUR SEPARATE WAYS.
BUT AFTER THE SHOW IS OVER, IT'S
WINE AND LAUGHTER.
>> Jimmy: WINE AND LAUGHTER,
THAT COULD BE A SHOW FOR ITSELF.
>> WE WERE GOING TO CALL THE
SHOW "TWO FOR THE PRICE OF
THREE."
>> Jimmy: YOU JUST DID A SHOW IN
TORONTO OVER THE WEEKEND, RIGHT?
>> THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
BECAUSE THAT'S MY HOMETOWN.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> AS A KID, I USED TO GO TO
THIS -- THERE I AM.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW, YEAH.
>> THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU
MIX PATRIOTISM AND LEGAL
CANADIAN WEED.
>> Jimmy: IN OUR COUNTRY, SOME
PEOPLE MIGHT FIND THAT
OFFENSIVE, BUT NO.
>> OH, PLEASE, YOU'VE GOT TO
RELAX.
>> Jimmy: EVERYBODY NEEDS TO
RELAX.
>> THEY PROBABLY DO.
>> Jimmy: AND I THINK THE LEGAL
WEED HELPS.
>> OH, MY GOD YES.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU GET TO SEE
PEOPLE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IN MANY
YEARS?
DO YOU EMBRACE FAMILY, ET CETERA
WHEN YOU ARRIVE IN TORONTO?
>> I HAD ABOUT 30 COMPS.
THERE WERE A LOT OF HOW ARE YOU
DOING, BUDDY!
ROBIN WILLIAMS COULD NEVER
REMEMBER NAMES, HELLO, DOCTOR,
OH, DOCTOR.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A SMART WAY TO
GO ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME BUT
GO WITH SOMETHING VERY
IMPRESSIVE LIKE DOCTOR.
>> PROFESSOR.
WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE PRESIDENT!
>> Jimmy: PAUL SHAFER, WHEN YOU
AND PAUL, WHEN WE WERE AT YOUR
HOUSE, YOU GUYS WERE REHEARSING
FOR YOUR SON HENRY'S WEDDING,
WHICH WAS LIKE THE FOLLOWING
WEEKEND.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE DOING A SONG.
WHAT SONG DID YOU WIPEND UP DOI?
>> WE DID A MEDLEY OF SONGS.
>> Jimmy: IS THE FAMILY
UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN DADDY SINGS?
>> THEY KNOW WHERE THEIR
BRUTTER -- THEIR BREAD IS
BUTTERED.
ASK ME AGAIN.
>> Jimmy: DO THEY GET
UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN DADDY SINGS?
>> NOT REALLY.
THEY LIKE IT.
WE HAD THE WEDDING, MY SON GOT
MARRIED TWO YEARS AGO.
YOU WORRY.
IT'S AN OUTDOOR WEDDING, IT'S AT
A COTTAGE.
IT WAS 11 OUT OF 10.
AND THEN MY SON SAID I WANT TO
GET MARRIED AT THE COTTAGE, TOO.
AND I PHONED OLIVER, AND HE SAYS
HAS YOUR BROTHER NEVER SEEN THE
MOVIE "GREASE 2"?
>> Jimmy: IT WENT OVER BIG?
IS THERE ANY CHANCE IT WILL BE
ON NETFLIX, THIS WEDDING?
>> THERE'S A VERY GOOD CHANCE.
THEY'RE HOLDING OUT, AND I'M NOT
GOING TO RELEASE THE TAPE UNLESS
IT'S DOUBLE FIGURES.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING.
>> I LOVE THIS SHOW MORE THAN
ANY SHOW IN THE WORLD.
>> Jimmy: IS THAT TRUE?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> IF I SAY THE SAME THING TO
FALLON IN TWO WEEKS, I SHOULD BE
DANGED.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN
ANYONE IN THE WORLD.
IT'S GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE.
YOU CAN SEE MARTIN SHORT AND
STEVE MARTIN ON THEIR LIVE
TWO-MAN TOUR "NOW YOU SEE THEM,
SOON YOU WON'T" APRIL 19TH IN
MILWAUKEE, APRIL 20TH IN PEORIA
AND JULY 16TH AT THE GREEK
THEATRE HERE IN LOS ANGELES.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.