all right let's get to our viewer mail we get a big show want to make sure everybody gets
in nobody gets their feelings hurt big big show viewer mail here comes the theme leave the room
yeah henry mancini
you know henry mancini called last week and he includes this now
in his where he performs around the country and he said it's so popular yeah that he's uh
he's going to put out sheet music of it really yes and he wants to know if he can use my picture
on the sheet music isn't that nice are you going to let him use your picture sure sure
that's great yeah it doesn't bother him that i don't care for the song so why i just eat
okay uh dear dave i'm appalled you need to have the names of guests and your jokes written on
cue cards shows a disturbing lack of dedication to your profession come on dave we your fans deserve
better than that concerned mark r schubert uh pittsburgh pennsylvania all right thank you very
much man listen listen mark where where exactly where the hell do you get off telling me how to
run my show you know mark it's jerks like you it's jerks like you kevin it's jerks like you
that really really annoy me so there pal
uh by the way if we need them paul we got the cannons full of pre-embargo grapes back there
just in case we need if we need them you don't fire those needlessly though i just graduated
from high school and now must decide what to do with my life well i know that feeling uh i figure
my options are as follows a go to college b get a job c bum off my parents until they kick me out
any suggestions johnny drew wichita kansas you know these are uh attractive choices johnny
with much to be said for each but i would like to suggest another idea take a look at
this film now that's being shown in community centers and church basements across america
graduation day you could go to college get a job or just hang around the house or you could take a
tip from some of america's most influential men commit a serious crime and get yourself sent to
a federal minimum security prison whether you choose lompoc atlanta or allenwood you'll find
pleasant surroundings and amiable companions at a price far below college tuition in fact it's free
tennis anyone or maybe your game is golf either way you'll be filling out a foursome
with captains of industry government officials and high-ranking members of organized crime
influential men who will help your career for years to come so when you're ready to
take that first step into the world consider america's federal prisons it worked for me
it might work for you a message from the u.s department of justice
but i thought the production value was nice
uh letter number three uh dear dave since your show has gotten so boring
i've started riding my exercise bike in front of the tv to pass the time while viewing your show
i've gotten into shape and feel great thanks dave from me and my cardiovascular system a
fan carol barker columbia missouri oh boy this is troubling carol i'm very sorry you feel that
way paul uh what is the show getting boring is that the deal what do you think paul paul
the show getting boring oh no the show looks
it looks great from here well he does thank you very much
run for your lives letter number four uh dear david for several years god has
given me the ability to write some of the most beautiful love poems i've read in my entire life
i've had a chance to recite some of them on several civic and professional occasions with 100
acceptance by my audience all this has led me at this time to ask your permission to recite at
least two of my exciting poems on your late night show i feel you and your audience will be thrilled
to this recital uh sincerely years glendale seymour elizabeth city north carolina
well this is a very nice letter uh we were sort of touched by this so we invited
glendale to come up here to new york city is she here glendale hi glendale how are
you nice to see you thank you very much for coming up all the way from north carolina
uh but in doing so ladies and gentlemen we also believe that it's important for our studio
audience to have a choice in what actually happens here on the show a choice in what they see so
now ladies and gentlemen by your applause you tell us would you rather see and hear
glendale reading her poems or would you rather see a fat guy jump into a hammock full of eggs
here we go let's all right let's vote now
here's the audience applause meter okay first for glendale would you like to hear the poems
okay now fine how about the fat guy jumping into the hammock
i'm sorry i'm sorry ma'am it it was very close glendale thank you for coming up here nice meeting
you uh okay is everyone ready over there anton here we go a fat guy into a hammock full of eggs
yeah my god well all right all right okay yes i've said it once i've said it a hundred times
that's comedy isn't it uh we got a great show oh jack cover here from the baltimore aquarium with
odd little lizards and stuff we'll be joining us also chaka khan and ellen green come on back folks