♪ (triumphant Legend of Zelda music) ♪
(Ian) Shut up!
♪ (hip-hop and electronic ballad music begins) ♪
♪ Yeah, my name is Link, man ♪
♪ I'm more well known than Lil Wayne ♪
♪ Oh, you thought my name was Zelda? ♪
♪ That's a f--king girl's name! ♪
♪ I've saved the world like 15 times ♪
♪ And saved the princess from demise ♪
♪ And I do it all alone ♪
♪ With no help and no advice ♪
(fairy) Hey! Look! Listen!
♪ Hey, look, listen ♪
♪ You f--king annoying fairy! ♪
♪ I'd rather be forced to listen ♪
♪ To constant Katy Perry ♪
♪ I think it's time I got some recognition ♪
♪ Don't you think? ♪
♪ Legend of Zelda? Screw that ♪
♪ Legend of Link ♪
♪ 'Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K ♪
♪ Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say ♪
♪ Got bigger balls than even Evel Knievel ♪
♪ And he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil ♪
♪ I'll break all your pots ♪
♪ And I best not hear your bitchin' ♪
♪ I've got the Triforce of Courage, bitch! ♪
♪ So you better listen! ♪
♪ That's right! I'm called the bushwhacker ♪
♪ And my bank account's maxed out ♪
♪ Got 999 rupees ♪
♪ And my leather wallet's packed now ♪
♪ Can't back down, can't slack now ♪
♪ The world needs me to attack now ♪
♪ Yet I'm forced to pay out the ass ♪
♪ For these bombs in Castle Town ♪
♪ Just give me some heart containers ♪
♪ And let me spit on my Ocarina ♪
♪ So I can kick that dumbass, Ganon ♪
♪ All the way to Argentina ♪
♪ 'Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K ♪
♪ Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say ♪
♪ Got bigger balls than even Evel Knievel ♪
♪ And he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil ♪
♪ (dramatic interlude) ♪
♪ Yo, you low-life elf ♪
♪ Need a ride up to the North Pole? ♪
♪ Santa's got a thing for elves ♪
♪ Gettin' his marriage annulled ♪
♪ You really think saving the princess ♪
♪ Will convince me you're straight? ♪
♪ Ha-ha! The Uggs and skirt fad ♪
♪ Is so 2008 ♪
♪ Oh snap! ♪
♪ It's Ganondorf trying to jock on my style ♪
♪ Batman's cape? Lincoln's beard? ♪
♪ Were you dressed by a child? ♪
♪ You're a ginger with no soul ♪
♪ And you look like a f--king troll! ♪
♪ Isn't kidnapping helpless girls ♪
♪ Getting a little bit old? ♪
♪ You think Zelda's stupid enough ♪
♪ To get kidnapped so often? ♪
♪ She runs off to my castle, into my room ♪
♪ And begs to get locked in ♪
♪ Yeah, she's sick of your little Deku nuts ♪
♪ And your girly fairy face ♪
♪ L-I-N-K? More like L-I-N-Gay ♪
♪ Man, you should've been aborted ♪
♪ Just like the Jersey Shore ♪
♪ It's a damn lie you told about Zelda ♪
♪ 'Cause she loves my Master Sword ♪
♪ It's a shame your whole life's been a waste ♪
♪ Trying to rule Hyrule ♪
♪ 'Cause today will be the day known as ♪
♪ The day you got schooled ♪
♪ 'Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K ♪
♪ Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say ♪
♪ Got bigger balls than even Evel Knievel ♪
♪ And he ain't gon' stop till the world is free of evil ♪
(Ian) To see behind-the-scenes footage and bloopers,
click the link in the description below!
Sometimes I knee them in the balls.
Then check out the new shirt
and get the song on iTunes!
Click the subscribe button and get another heart container!
Quick! Click it! You're dying!
You're low on health; click it!