In today's cold e-mail tear-down
I wanna talk about video production.
We're gonna be going through an e-mail
for a production company.
Similar B2B service to mobile apps
but the way they sell is a little bit different
so I want to run through this e-mail from a viewer
and see what we can improve.
So, here's the e-mail that we were sent.
Rinaldo sent out a call for people
that follow this YouTube channel
and are subscribed to the e-mail list
to send their cold e-mails
to be torn down in this video.
By the way, if you subscribe to the e-mail list
Rinaldo will be happy to collect these e-mails from you
and you might even get it torn down in one of these videos.
So, please subscribe to that.
So, here's the e-mail script that Tielman sent over.
This e-mail is making two big errors
that I'm sure you can spot
if you've been watching these videos for a while now.
The first is, there's a lot of I ams.
It's very me-centric,
and then the other one is it's full of typos.
Another cold e-mail tear down
another e-mail riddled with typos.
Spell check.
Please.
Come on.
There's also not subject line here
so I'm just gonna say "Hi from Tielman".
He misspelled his own name too.
I think that's funny.
Is it Tieman or Tielman?
I guess I'll do Tieman.
Hello, Jan, I came across your website,
and I am impressed by the wide range of expertise
and consultancy you offer for the healthcare industry.
Novataris (that a client of theirs) looked
like a big challenge to me.
So, the first thing I'd change is
Just change this to Hi.
If you do Hello Jan it seems like you're spamming them,
and then we'll do a first line
that talks about their agency
but since you're a video production company
maybe talk about something related to video production.
(fast forward)
For video production specifically
they require a lot more customization
because there are so many
video production companies out there.
It's almost as competitive as SEO,
which is surprising.
So you get around that
by being more specific in your e-mails,
and then, similar to the e-mail we did last week,
the interesting part of this e-mail,
the questions, are down here at the bottom.
So let's move 'em up to the top.
Have you thought about explainer videos
for some of your clients, or a marketing video
that sets the attention of new potential clients?
These are good questions.
They're just not phrased correctly.
So, let me rephrase these real quick.
(fast forwarding)
So something like:
Looking through your client list, I noticed
that many of them could more effectively sell their products
with explainer videos - short animated vids
that clearly articulate what the product is about.
(fast forwarding)
Have you tried upselling videos to your clients before?
We've done for videos for client 1, client 2, and client 3,
and have case studies that show improved ROI
from the content that you can use to support the sale.
Does that sound worth discussing further?
Hi Jan, came across company site,
amazing attention to detail!
Loved the Novartis case study and your company culture page.
Looking through your client list, I noticed
that many of them could more effectively sell their products
with explainer videos - short animated vids
that clearly articulate what the product is about.
Have you tried upselling videos to your clients before?
We've done videos for this client, this client,
and this client, and have case studies
that show improved ROI from the content
that you can use to support the sale.
(fast forward)
What you're doing here is you're taking
all the risk away from them.
You're showing that you've done work
for clients like theirs in the past.
You're showing that you have case studies
that show improved ROI
that you are allowing them to use
when white labeling your videos.
Basically giving them everything they need
to remove all the risk
and make it easy for them to give you a project,
and then asking for a call.
You're not asking for a project specifically,
you're just saying "Does that sound worth discussing?"
"Let me know and I can send over a few times."
"Thanks"
Very simple way to approach
this partnership e-mail for agencies.
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Thanks