I'm dawn I had Encephalitis in 1998 I was 17 years old I was a normal average
girl going to school life was good I started college I was doing an NVQ
I was learning to drive my family social life so everything was on
track for a for a 17 year old but then out of the blue totally out of the blue
just not expecting it I had a migraine but then things got worse
I collapsed my seven-year-old sister found me and that was it
life was different just like that so you're lying in bed and you're not
knowing who's who why they won't let you home and you just don't know anything
like a baby so then while you're in hospital you learn to eat
because you can't eat and you can't walk at home I was normal to myself and I was
going to live a normal life because I didn't want to lose what I'd lost so I went
went out I was told I could only do the stairs once a day because I couldn't
climb stairs my dad had to carry me up the stairs and I went and did my nails
soon as I got out of hospital I was going to go and see my nan, and she lived next
door but one so I was gonna walk around there but obviously I can't walk so that
didn't work and it's such a realization you know when you try and do something
you did before something simple what you should be able to do and nobody's told
you you can't do it so I did my nails and I was covered in nail varnish
absolutely covered you have to be brave after Encephalitis because you
can't be scared you have a choice you sink or swim and I'm a swimmer at the
start is accepting obviously I see a neurologist and he told me what damage
was done and what damage I had so then it became real you then take
control of life and start your strategies you learn from others when we
come along to the retreats and the family weekends and we learn off each
other because no one can tell you how to do these things so it started off with a
diary that someone recommended I have a list next to my bedroom or my cupboard
it tells me what I should do it tells me that I need to so I go brush everything
structured things that I find difficult I'll find a way around it and I'll do it
if you go to a film it's not enjoyable for me because for one thing I can't
remember the story plot because you need a memory to remember what's
happened at the beginning and to follow it through you need to remember
who the main character is so you need to be able to recognize with that
area you need to remember who the main character is and follow that through
the film but I can't do that so we go to a concert instead and there you don't
need to remember who the main star is you don't need to remember the plot you
just need to enjoy yourself and let go and dance and sing you know you just
relax and the one thing at risks with me in
that situation because I've got my sister and so she takes me and and she
makes sure I'm safe because I'll be at risk of getting lost in amongst the
crowd so she gets me there safely and then my brain because it's obviously
stressful arriving there and remembering your ticket remembering to
get changed remembering to do your hair you know those little things my brain
can get overloaded even though it's something I enjoy
everything's racing around so you can hear people but you're just fixed so you
just you stare apparently I have a blank look across my face but inside I'm
trapped and I can't move and I can't shout out help me I'm
overloaded take me somewhere safe because I'm trapped the kids are
starting to notice when I've got overloaded especially my older one and she'll go
"your brain's gone boom" mummy which is sad for them to have to go through
because if they had a normal mummy and when they had come out of school I don't
recognise my children so it must be hard for them, it must be upsetting for them to
have a mum that can't recognise them it's upsetting for me so it must be upsetting
for them I try and hide it you can't hide that you don't know them so when
they come out of school they walk towards me because all these children
come out of school and I don't know who's who don't know which ones my child
and she comes straight towards me and she'll be waving like this and and then
I know it's her because she'll be looking eye to eye at me waving frankly
saying mummy so you can't miss it coming along to the Encephalitis retreats or
just the ADM meetings we all get together and talk and it's nice to help
others because you get the newbies and and like I was at the start they don't
realize they're different we lift them up we tell them it's alright you're
normal in this world you you know you're one of us we all go through that try
this tip that tip and that will make things easier and just the fact of
knowing you're not alone that's the one key is knowing that you're not alone
and there's somebody else out there like you