HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY.
TONIGHT, DAVE LETTERMAN RULES.
YES, I'M DAVE GROHL DRESSED AS
DAVE LETTERMAN IN FOR JIMMY
KIMMEL.
IT'S CONFUSING, I GET IT.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE HOME RIGHT
NOW WATCHING, STONED TO THE
BONE.
AND JUST LIKE DAVE, I WOULD LIKE
TO ANNOUNCE MY RETIREMENT FROM
LATE NIGHT TV.
YEAH.
THIS WILL BE MY FINAL SHOW.
IT'S BEEN QUITE A RIDE THOUGH,
YOU KNOW.
YOU MAY KNOW ME FROM MY ROLE AS
LOBBY PASSERBY IN THE 1996
EPISODE OF THE X-FILES.
OR MAYBE FROM MY VANITY SHOW.
OKAY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
IT'S THE SECOND ONE, I GUESS.
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE IN COSTUME
TONIGHT.
EVERYONE ON THE KIMMEL STAFF IS
DRESSED UP AS A MUSICIAN FROM
THE 80s.
OUR ANNOUNCER, DE $SCHNEIDER.
THERE YOU GO.
GOOD LUCK.
OUR BAND LEADER CLETO IS PRINCE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
A LITTLE TOO SOON, CLETO.
TOO SOON.
CLETO SENIOR IS BOY GEORGE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OUR BASE PLAYER IS BILLY GIVENS
OR DUSTY HILL.
AND THE DRUMMER JONATHAN IS IN
FULL DIVO ATTIRE.
THE KEY BOARD PLAYER JEFF IS
MICHAEL JACKSON.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[ APPLAUSE ]
OUR GUITAR PLAYER IS -- MADONNA!
THAT'S A GOOD LOOK.
AND GUILLERMO, WHO ARE YOU
DRESSED AS?
>> CHER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Dave: WHAT KIND OF CHAIR?
LIKE A SWIVEL CHAIR?
A FOLDING CHAIR?
>> WHATEVER YOU WANT.
YOU'RE DOING THE SHOW.
>> Dave: DO YOU CARE TO SHARE A
SONG, I BELIEVE?
>> BELIEVE.
>> Dave: WILL YOU SING FOR US?
♪ DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER
LOVE ♪
>> Dave: JUST LIKE THE REAL
THING.
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
I LIKE THAT.
SPEAKING OF COSTUMES, THIS IS
COOL.
THIS MORNING I RECEIVED A
SPECIAL HONOR, A NEWS ANCHOR IN
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA,
DRESSED AS ME FOR HALLOWEEN.
>> GOOD MORNING AND HAPPY
HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY!
I AM BRUCE, AKA THE BOSS, WITH
MY CO-HOST WHITNEY DRESSED AS
DAVE GROHL.
♪
♪ THE BEST, THE BEST
HE
>> Dave: WHAT IS THAT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE OPPOSITE OF A TRIBUTE THERE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
THAT'S MY TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC
RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING FOR.
WERE YOUR KIDS EXCITED TO TRICK
OR TREAT?
I HAVE THREE DAUGHTERS.
THEY'RE 3, 8 AND 11.
AND THEY DRESSED UP AS, IN
ORDER, A PUMPKIN, A PRINCESS,
AND LEAVE ME ALONE DAD, NOBODY
CARES ABOUT THIS STUPID HOLIDAY.
BUT YOU KNOW, HALLOWEEN HAS
CHANGED A LOT SINCE I WAS A KID.
CALL ME OWED FASHIONED BUT I
FEEL LIKE WE KEEP DRIFTING
FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY FROM
THE MEANING OF HALLOWEEN.
AND FRANKLY, I'LL KIND OF SICK
OF IT.
SO WHO WANTS TO MEET ME IN THE
WOODS AFTER THE SHOW AND
SACRIFICE A GOAT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SINCE IT'S HALLOWEEN, WE HAVE AN
ANGEL AND A DEMON ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT.
KRISTEN BELL AND ALICE COOPER
ARE HERE.
RIGHT THERE.
THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME
THEY'VE SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE
THEY BROKE UP SO THAT SHOULD BE
AWKWARD.
BY THE WAY, NOT ONLY IS ALICE
COOPER GOING TO CHAT WITH US, HE
IS GOING TO PERFORM FOR US WITH
A LITTLE HELP FROM ME AND MY FOO
FIGHTERS.
ONE NIGHT ONLY.
WE SHALL BE KNOWN AS ALICE
FOO-PER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WITH JIMMY OUT THIS WEEK, PEOPLE
HAVE BEEN WONDERING, WILL HIS
SHOW STILL BE MAKING KIDS CRY ON
HALLOWEEN?
DO YOU KNOW THAT ONE?
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
THE ANSWER IS YES, OF COURSE.
CONSIDER THIS YOUR OFFICIAL
INVITATION TO TAKE PART IN THE
SEVENTH ANNUAL HALLOWEEN CANDY
YOUTUBE CHALLENGE.
IT IS A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR
CHILDREN.
LIKE LEARNING THE TRUTH ABOUT
SANTA EXCEPT WHAT THEY'RE
LEARNING IS THAT THEIR PARENTS
ARE SORT OF [ BLEEP ].
IT'S EASY TO PARTICIPATE.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS THIS.
>> WHILE YOU WERE AT SCHOOL, I
ATE ALL YOUR CANDY.
[ CRYING ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Dave: SO IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO
BE A PART OF SOMETHING LIKE
THAT, TELL YOUR KIDS YOU ATE ALL
THEIR CANDY, RECORD IT AND POST
IT TO YOUTUBE WITH THE TITLE,
HEY, JIMMY KIMMEL I TOLD MY KIDS
I ATE ALL THEIR HALLOWEEN CANDY.
DO IT SAFELY AND BE ON THE
LOOKOUT FOR A MESSAGE FROM THE
SHOW.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO GET BACK
AT YOUR KIDS FOR MAKING YOU
LISTEN TO THEM WITH THEIR
SOUNDTRACK EVERY DAY TO SCHOOL.
IT'S TIME FOR ONE OF THE
MOST CHERISHED TRADITIONS ON THE
SHOW.
WHERE THEY TAKE ONE HALF OF ONE
COSTUME.
MASH IT UP WITH HALF OF ANOTHER
COSTUME TO CREATE A WEIRD ASS
MASTER PIECE.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
AND YOU GUYS IN THE AUDIENCE
WILL BE A PART OF IT SO HEADS
UP.
I WANT YOU TO BE PART OF IT.
MR. MUSTARD.
FOR INSTANCE, IF WE COMBINE C 3
PO AND OPRAH, WHAT WOULD YOU
GET?
OH!
CHECK OUT THE BIG BRAINS ON YOU.
PERFECT.
SO HERE IT IS.
OUR 12th ANNUAL HALF AND HALF
HALLOWEEN COSTUME PAGEANT.
WELCOME.
LET'S SEE WHO IS COMING TO THE
DOOR BELL.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
AAH, ALL RIGHT.
ANY GUESSES?
ANYONE?
ANYTHING?
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
OH!
LET'S SEE.
WHO ARE YOU?
RIGHT THERE.
>> HANDMAID SNAIL.
HE GOT IT.
RIGHT ON TOP!
LOOK AT THAT.
WE WOULD HAVE ALSO SECOND LITTLE
RED RIDING SLUG.
OH, WE GOT ANOTHER ONE COMING
IN.
LET'S SEE WHO IS HERE.
ANYBODY?
HOLD ON.
WHAT'S THAT?
OVER HERE.
BENJAMIN -- TELL US WHO YOU ARE
RIGHT NOW.
>> BENJAMIN MINION FRANKLIN
RIGHT THERE.
THAT LOOKS COMFORTABLE.
SHEESH!
THE WRITERS WERE AS HIGH AS A
KITE WHEN THEY CAME ONE THAT
ONE.
WHO IS NEXT?
WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
OH, GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
WHOA, MAN!
ANYBODY?
ANYTHING?
YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT A LITTLE
BIT HERE.
WHO ARE YOU?
>> MARGE GIMPSON.
DID YOU GET THAT ONE OVER THERE?
YOU GOT IT?
ALL RIGHT.
>> Dave: HER SAFE WORD IS DON'T!
DOOR BELL.
HERE WE GO.
WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE COMING
THROUGH.
HERE IT COMES.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
BARNEY WHO?
WHO ARE YOU?
>> BARNEY SANDERS!
>> Dave: OH!
WE GOT ANOTHER ONE.
BARNEY SANDERS RIGHT THERE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THERE
BUT BERNIE WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE
WHEN ACTUAL DINOSAURS ROAMED THE
EARTH.
OH, WE HAVE ANOTHER ONE COMING
THROUGH.
OKAY.
LOOK OUT.
HE HAS NO EYE HOLES IN THAT ONE.
HE CAN'T SEE WHERE HE'S GOING.
WHO ARE YOU, MY MAN?
>> I'M MR. E.T.
>> Dave: LOOK AT HIM.
HE SHRUNK A LOT SINCE ROCKY.
GOT ANOTHER ONE COMING THROUGH.
OH!
ANYBODY?
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
ANYONE?
WHO ARE YOU?
>> I AM EGGO BATMAN.
>> Dave: EGGO BATMAN.
OKAY.
BOTH OF HIS PARENTS WERE KILLED
BY A TOASTER OVEN.
OKAY.
WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE.
COMING THROUGH.
HERE IT COMES.
LET'S SEE.
WAIT A SECOND.
YOU LOOK A LOT LIKE AMERICA'S
FAVORITE GAME SHOW HOST VANA
WHITE!
>> THAT'S BECAUSE I AM AMERICA'S
FAVORITE GAME SHOW HOST VANNA
WHITE!
>> Dave: I'M GOING TO SAY
HALLOWEEN CITY IS REALLY
STEPPING IT UP OVER THERE.
ANY GUESSES?
ANYBODY GOT ANYTHING?
WHAT?
OKAY.
>> Dave: TELL THEM WHO YOU ARE.
>> I'M VANNA WHITE WALKER!
>> Dave: VANNA WHITE WALKER.
LONG MAY YOU RAID.
AND SAY HELLO TO THE CAT FROM
THE NORTH FOR US.
THANKS TO ALL OF OUR MODELS,
ESPECIALLY VANNA WHITE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO THE
AMAZING JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE
WARDROBE DEPARTMENT.