So let me tell you something.
It was Percy, Lord Byron, Mary, and Claire
and Lord Byron's personal physician.
So they were all sitting around
for the scary story competition.
So, first up goes Percy.
Oh, his scary story is just like this poetic thing
about his childhood.
Climbing up a tree was so scary
when I fell down on my knee.
Something like that.
He didn't really get it. He's an artist.
He's, like, I'm--you know, I like to, uh, prance.
[laughter]
[jaunty music]
♪ ♪
And then Lord Byron told his story
and he goes, this one's about a vampire
who was very posh and talks to you
and then he bites you.
[sweeping music]
And so, you know, it was scary but still meh.
So then they go, what about you Mary?
Mary is an aspiring writer, so she's like,
I don't want to [bleep] this up because here are
the two most famous-- two very famous writers--
poets in Europe
and I don't want to tell a shitty story.
So Mary goes, I'm going to write something good,
so I don't have a story right now.
But she was always listening to what--
[burps]
Lord Byron and Percy were saying
because they would always have these really interesting
conversations about the latest ideas,
and one of the latest ideas was about Galvanism,
which is, like, when you apply alchemy and electricity
to revive animals.
And she thought to herself--
- Oh, my God, what the [bleep]? Oh, my God!
Okay, it's a rabbit. It's a rabbit.
- Oh, it's just a rabbit.
It's a jackrabbit. - I'm a really startly person.
- I see. - Anyway, sorry.
- Okay. That night, Mary falls asleep,
and has a terrible nightmare.
She wakes up with a start and goes, Oh!
I have my story!
You amazing puppet shits!
- [laughs]
[laughter]
- And so, Mary's like,
Yes, I finally have a story.
based off something I dreamed of last night
and it's about a student
at Ingolstadt university in Germany
and he's an alchemist and into electricity
and he's a nerd.
- They know what nerds are back then?
- He knows what nerds are.
So Victor Frankenstein is his name.
This man was obsessed
with bringing people to life.
So you know what he did?
He went into the morgue
and took body parts.
Arm, elbow, knee,
nose, eyes, head,
and put them together in his own special way.
- Like a Mr. Potato Head.
- Only it was a Mr. Humanoid-o Head.
He stitched them together with love and care
and nerdiness.
He was a nerd.
He hooked up the electrodes to each bowel
and testicle
and there it happened.
[imitating electric shock]
The Monster opened his eyes.
Blink, blink, blink.
And Victor Frankenstein looked at him and said,
"Oh, my God! I've done it!
"It's alive!
"Holy crap! He's alive!
"Finally, I can re-- go home to my mom
"and say I've done something!
Now give me some [bleep] pancakes!"
[laughter]
- I'm gonna piss myself. I'm gonna piss myself.