If you've ever wondered why
Disney tales all end in lies
Here's what happened after all their dreams came true
*Vocalizing* Be a, be a man
After saving China I went home alone
I was feeling conflicts in my lower zone
I've been dressing like a guy for months
Now I'm losing all control
I think I am a guy in my soul (Be a, be a man)
I wanna be a man
John #1: I've never seen a guy so hot
John #3: Time to reinvent the new me
John #4: Every time he speaks he makes me want to sing!
John #2 and #4: I'm so confused
John #1: Be quiet or we'll get caught!
John #2: Maybe one day he'll screw me.
Now I really get why my nickname is Ping
John #2 and #4: I've got to be a man
John #3: I've got the brains and the bite of females
Plus the brute and the brawn of dudes
I know I'm ready for transformation
It's time to replace all these useless tubes
John #1, #2 and #4: Good for you
John #1: The prince was absolutely the only single wish my heart made
Guess my wish came true
But we never really talked much
Before he discovered my shoe
The night after we got married
I recounted all of my plights
Of how I fit inside a pumpkin, my canines turned to coachmen
Prince threw me in Bedlam that night
*snapping* The white jackets say I'm nutty
She's nutty as a bat
Cause my clothes are sewn by rats
Stick some meds in her food
But their pills turn my brain to putty
Got her!
Now Lucifer's not just my cat
I am Satan
Their insulin puts me under
Shock therapy's made me insane *buzzing*
And after years *bzz* of steady frying *bzz bzz*
The doctors *bzz* gave up trying
They stuck two steel rods in my brain *seizure noises*
John #4: I spent a blooming lifetime to open my cafe
Then I took a dive in 2005
Now it's washed away
John #1, #2 and #3: It's all washed away
I was picked up by a chopper after 4 nights on my roof, na na na
Now my new home is the Astrodome
Cause New Orleans ain't Katrina proof
You'd better carry around a shotgun
Or looters take your kids
You'd better pee inside of jam jars (Ewww!)
Be sure to keep those lids
We needed Noah but we got Bush
Our "savior" flew away and hid
Rough seas and levees
I'm deaoooooooooooood
John #2: There is no snow on the mountain tonight, just sulfur in the air
A kingdom of greenhouse gases, only Bill Nye seems to care
My town is melting, breaking off into the sea
It's time I showed the strength of an evil queen
With Germany and Putin too
I'll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo
We're going green by spilling red
And if you're not dead
I built a hoard of evil snowmen
They're gonna take over the world
Let it snow! Let it snow!
Now Fox News will need heat lamps
John #1, #3 and #4: Mother Russia!
Let it snow! Let it snow!
I hope you concentrate in camp
John #3: Heil Elsa!
We don't care who we have to slay
Let my troops march on (The troops march on)
The cold's coming back and it's here to stay
John #4: I sunk like a brick
John #1: Prince thinks I'm sick
John #2: Ice is melting quick
John #3: Now I have a lot of self-esteem