What's up guys, hope you're doing well.
If you're new to the show, in these videos I talk about things that I hate, things I'm
just Not About That Life...and this is the Christmas edition...
...starting with someone says they don't want something for Christmas...so you don't get
them anything and then they get mad at you when you didn't get them anything.
DAHECK!
I didn't know nothing was code for diamond earrings, a necklace, some perfume.
That's a terrible code.
Now I'm the bad boyfriend because I didn't get...
Not About That Life!
Conversely, when someone gets you something you didn't ask for.
I'll tell you something that I want, but if I tell you what I want, why would you just
get me a cookbook, talking about "I need to learn how to start cooking now.
I can't just eat Taco Bell all the time."
Why can't I eat Taco Bell?
What do you mean I can't?
Not About That Life!
And why is there always that one teacher who always wants to have class up until December
24th?
DAHECK?
You don't have children?
You don't have any type of family to go home to?
Do you celebrate Christmas?
And even worse are the teachers that have the cumulative tests...everything you've learned
since the second grade in algebra...it's a science class.
What is going on?
Not About That Life!
Let's talk about Santa for a minute, shall we?
You got a fat, white, old man with a beard who delivers presents to children on the same
day, riding reindeer.
Ok, really?
That's what we're going to go with here?
We couldn't give him something cool like a spaceship or something like that...a polar
bear?
Polar bears are in the North Pole.
Why couldn't Santa, just be riding rhinoceroses.
I would still believe in Santa to this day if I was told he rode rhinoceroses.
I would be outside in an ECHO shirt with my binoculars just looking:
"Oh look, there goes Santa.
You see him?
You can tell that's Rudolph cause you can tell his horn is flashing.
Oh, that's a plane?
Oh, ok we'll find him.
We'll find him.
We will find him, that's for sure though.
The whole concept of Santa is stupid because if you think about it, we teach our children
from birth:
"Don't talk to strangers.'
"Billy, no!
Don't talk to him.
He's a stranger!
Oh No!"
But come December, no problem!
Just some random white dude, sit on the lap and tell him what you want.
You don't know Santa!
You don't know who that is.
Have you heard the songs about Santa?
You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why.
You think that's just a friendly Christmas song?
No.
That's a warning.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
This is a code for something.
I'm convinced someone in prison invented Santa Claus to communicate with the people outside
who he just called Elves.
That's a good theory.
We should look into that.
Speaking of Christmas songs, I'm OK with Christmas songs.
You know, I like them every now and again, hearing them on the radio...but if it's Valentine's
Day and I'm hearing Christmas songs...that's not ok.
Not About That Life!
Whoever invented Kwanzaa.
Not About That Life!
When someone asks you how you've been...and you're just sitting there like...I just saw
you at Thanksgiving.
Not About That Life!
When someone's praying over the food and they take 17 minutes to say the grace!
Not About That Life!
But I guess my biggest complaint with the holidays is the unrealistic expectations that
they set.
That fine girl you've been looking at is not going to kiss you even if you're both under
the mistletoe simultaneously.
It's not going to happen.
And you are not going to wake up, go outside, and see a brand new Lexus outside wrapped
in a bow.
DAHECK!
Do you want me to get you a car or do you want to be in debt for the next 7 years?
You gotta pick one.
And what is going on with these cheesy Hallmark movies...and why is everyone dressed up like
a 40 year old woman...every single character is dressed up like a 40 year old woman.
How does that make any type of sense?
And I promise, if I see one more of these corny jewelry commercials:
"Oh, he went to Jared"
"Every kiss begins with..."
You better sit down and open up the socks that I got you.
DAHECK is wrong with you.
But that's all I got for now.
What are you guys Not About That Life?
Leave a comment down below or tweet me @ScooterMagruder and maybe you could be in the next video.
As always, new videos every Sunday.
No Jugamos Juegos.
Throw me the alley.
I'm a grown man.