Juices loose, liquids flying, blood flowing, sweat dripping, passion, nervousness, recalling
what you saw in a porno the night before and lust all come together to create human’s
favorite past time… sex
If you clicked on this video, it probably means you’re a noob who’s about to seal
the deal with the girl you like, or you’re just a horny bastard who saw the word sex
in the title and couldn’t help yourself.
Either way, thanks for the view.
Now it’s time for me to keep my end of the deal and blow your mind with the godly knowledge
that Poseidon wouldn’t dream of telling you.
Here we go.
#1 Make sure you have tissues within arms reach.
Since it’s your first time you don’t know this… but at any moment, either one of you
could start blowing and oozing liquids out like the Great Geyser…
Wanna know the biggest secret about sex that nobody tells you?
Cleaning up after is a fucking mess!
For this reason, it’s best to have some tissues on hand to clean up any explosions
that might happen.
Unless you prefer awkwardly running across your apartment naked while your mom, brother,
dog, stepsister, or roommate wonders why you’re running around the house with your dick swinging
around.
It can get really messy really fast when the juices are loose.
Keep the proper cleanup tools on deck for when the liquids start flying around.
#2 Get a workout in beforehand.
There’s nothing like having a good ol’ pump after a workout… your blood is flowing,
your muscles get engorged with blood and look bigger and puffier, it’s like temporary
steroids!
Doing this before sex will certainly get you looking in tip top shape, so when the clothes
come flying off and it’s time to go balls to the wall (literally), you’ll be looking
godly as fuck!
Also, working out regularly is an excellent way of improving your circulation and blood
flow…
In case you didn’t know, when your willy gets hard, it’s really just the result of
blood rushing to the area, creating what the kids call, a boner…
So increasing circulation and blood flow in your body is a surefire way of improving your
sword fighting ability… if you know what I mean.
#3 Setup a mirror nearby
It makes going to pound town 10x better because you can see what’s going on from all different
angles and it’s like you’re in your very own live-action porno, where you’re the
star!!
Not to mention, if the sex turns out to be underwhelming, you can combine this with the
previous tip and you’ll be able to look at yourself in the mirror and see how great
you look with your post-workout pump.
Yeah, yeah I know… Christian Bale stole that tip from me!
#4 Shave.
You really need me to explain this one to you bro?
Ugh, next tip!
#5 Shower, wipe yourself down before, or do anything you can to make sure your area is
clean.
This is another obvious one but I’m including it for good reason.
I had a friend tell me a story of how he went out to a nightclub and was dancing the whole
night for 5 hours straight… he was so sweaty that there was just one big glob of sweat
running from his sweat all the way down to his crotch.
I’m talking swamp ass of the century, bro.
A girl happened to approach him that night and seduced him into going back to her place…
I can’t even imagine the stank that poor girl endured that night… in memory of her,
please don’t be that guy.
#6 Don’t eat sugary, processed foods the day of.
These will lower your sex drive and make you feel sluggish throughout the day… ruining
your performance.
And, I’ve never heard of a girl describe amazing sex to her friends as sluggish…
so definitely this at all costs.
#7 Buy a delay spray to make you last longer.
The biggest source of anxiety before sex, is wondering if you’ll be able to last long
enough.
Most guys blow their load way too quick…
I know so many guys who only last 2 seconds before having an explosion of sexual frustration.
And if you’re trying to make the girl orgasm, then you’re gonna need to do a whole lot
better than 2 seconds.
For the ladies, it takes an average of 18minutes to orgasm and for some girls it’s even longer.
For the boys, they tend to only 6 minutes on average.
In case you failed math, let me make this clear… if you’re the average dude, you
have to last 3 times as long in order to satisfy your girl.
To close the gap between how long you last and how long it takes her to orgasm, I highly
recommend checking out our sponsor, Promescent.
Promescent makes a delay spray, that makes you last WAY longer in bed when you spray
it onto your penis.
Here’s how it works: on the underside of your penis is a small spot called the frenulum,
which contains most of the nerves that cause the ejaculation response.
Promescent spray decreases the sensitivity in your frenulum which helps you take back
control of your ejaculation and blowing a load response.
It turns you into ejaculation superman!
And the best part is that it only reduces sensitivity in the frenulum while retaining
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This allows it to still feel amazing and let you last WAY longer in bed than if you were
just doing some bullshit like thinking about baseball or doing math in your head.
Promescent is totally FDA compliant and made in the USA at a first class pharmaceutical
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They have support from over 2,200 Urologists and other sexual health care pros that recommend
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If you can last longer, you have way more time on your hands to make your girl orgasm
and have a WAY better sexual experience.
Then she’ll really be in love with you and want to keep going at it over and over haha.
They also have a ton of other stuff on their site to enhance your sex game, like their
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#8 Eat some pineapples….
If you don’t know why… then look it up…
I don’t feel like getting even more demonetized than I probably already am hahahah.
#9 Jerk off a couple hours before
Having one in the chamber that you’ve been holding for weeks is a surefire way to blow
your load fast as fuck.
Make sure you pet the panda at least 6 hours beforehand… this way you ensure that there’s
a fresh new one in the chamber, and you’re not totally drained when it’s time for you
to bat.
Choking your chicken earlier in the day is also a reallly good way of calming your nerves
before the big event… so I highly recommend it.
#10 Watch some “adult” videos a day beforehand
Since these videos are super high stimulation and will get your willy riled up it’ll help
you learn to manage highly stimulating environments.
Once you get the real thing later on, it’ll be much more manageable.
#11 Meditate
Once juices get loose and fluids and hormones start flying around everywhere, it’s gonna
be really easy to get nervous and overwhelmed with everything that’s going on.
You want to Take each step of the process one step at a time…
The best way to prep yourself for that is to meditate for 20 mins before you meetup
with the girl..
This way you’ll be more present and in the right headspace when it’s time to do the
dead.
Besides, you really expect anyone to believe that those Zen monks are going on year long
retreats to meditate and aren’t jerking off?
I mean c’mon bro…
I bet those are secretly undercover sex retreats where they meditate to hone their pound-town
skills but hey, I’m no conspiracy theorist..
Decide for yourself!
#12 Clean your room
Now before you say this tip is too obvious, let me explain.
I’m only including it because if I don’t, one of you is gonna have the girl over with
last week’s laundry all over the floor.
I’ve been in some guys rooms who look like they’re on an episode of TLC’s hoarders.
A girl wants to feel comfortable and turned on in your space… having shit all over the
place is only gonna have the opposite effect.
And that my friends is it.
I’ll have a summary of all these on screen for you to screenshot and put on your refrigerator
so you can always remember it.
I gotta rush and do all 12 of these things now because I got a hot date tonight!
And you know if I get lucky I’ll be using Promescent with her to make this the best
sex she’s ever had!
Make sure you click the link below and start lasting longer at a dope discount!