First reason why women play games
is because they're getting
bad advice, all right.
Here's the thing
and let me get even more specific,
negative influences.
(Music)
Hey, what's going on everybody?
Once again, this is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks,
back with another
dating and relationship advice video.
Today, were going to be talking about a topic that
some of the women may not like
but the men need to hear.
Before we get into it as always
be sure to subscribe to the channel,
like this video, share this video,
and comment below.
Tell me why you think women play games.
So, that's what we're talking about today.
Why do women play games?
Now, I know if you are a woman watching this
you might be like, oh, we don't play games,
that's the men playing games.
Of course, there are men out there
who play games
and we have to be able to acknowledge though,
there are women who play games.
There are people who play games.
It's not gender specific as far as
who is playing the game.
But I would argue that
in society sometimes we make it seem like
it's just the men
who are doing the foolishness.
And we ignore the fact that
tons of women are engaging
in toxic unhealthy game playing,
plain and simple, all right.
And so, even if this doesn't apply to you
for the women watching this
take heed because number one,
you might find yourself playing a game
later on that you don't even realize
or your friends, your mother, your sister,
someone you know,
has probably engaged in playing games.
And understanding why they do it
will help us in one,
maybe diminishing
the amount of people who do it.
And for the men watching,
because this is really about you all right now,
this is for you all
to help you navigate through this
and understand what's going on, all right.
Let me start with number one.
Number one reason
and it's not number one as it's the top of the list,
there's no specific order.
First reason why women play games
is because they're getting
bad advice, all right.
Here's the thing
and let me get even a more specific,
negative influences,
which turns into bad advice.
A lot of women don't even register
they're playing a game
or they're playing games
that are toxic and healthy
because they're being given advice
and being told
this is what you're supposed to do,
this is how you should handle it.
For example, they'll tell a woman,
you need to make him chase you,
that's a game you're playing.
If you make him chase you,
if you're intentionally doing it,
you're playing games
that is unhealthy.
But why does she do that?
Because she heard it from someone
who was speaking from a negative place,
a negative perception of things.
Not from a healthy place
that's going to create
better, stronger, relationships, all right.
And unfortunately, women are surrounded by
other hurt, bitter, broken, women.
Which we'll get more into that little bit later.
But the fact is,
though those outside influences
may have good intentions.
Though they may not honestly feel like
they're leading you down a path
of playing a game,
that's exactly what they're doing.
And so, it's causing a lot of problems
because women are getting bad advice
from negative influences.
If you are a man,
it is very smart for you
to become mindful of
who this woman exposes herself to.
Who is she surrounding herself with?
Who does she take counsel from?
Because when you can start to see
that the influences
that she slows into her life
are indeed negative, all right,
then you can already brace yourself
for some game playing
and some ups and downs.
Now, that doesn't mean
run for cover immediately, all right.
Again, I'm a firm believer that you don't run
just because you see a red flag.
You address it, you talk about it,
you also add a safeguard.
And what I mean by that is,
you tell that woman hey, listen,
if you have an issue, talk to me.
You open up the lines of communication
in a way that makes her feel safe
that she can consult with you
about what's going on
rather than being quick to run
to those outside negative influences.
But you also help her understand that listen,
she can't be so quick to talk to or
to take counsel from those individuals.
I don't want you or any man to
think you should to try to control
her environment so to speak
because she as an adult
has to make that decision.
However, you do need to be mindful of it
and make her aware or...
And the reason why I say make her aware
is because again because
she may not always realize that.
And that's not necessarily your responsibility.
If you see something in this woman
and you think you can build something special,
then take it into account, all right.
So, yes, negative influences, bad advice,
huge, huge, factor
as to why women play games.
Number two, she hasn't healed.
Listen, the unfortunate reality is that
when a woman has gone through some things
and a lot of women
have been through a lot, all right.
Unfortunately, many have not done the work
to properly heal and resolve those issues,
which makes her very ancy
in her next situation,
which makes her very on guard
looking for red flags,
looking for something wrong.
Now, again, that's not an excuse,
that doesn't validate that behavior.
I'm simply explaining that yes,
her lack of healing,
will more than likely
lead to her playing games.
It is the source of why
she is so confusing,
why she is causing problems,
why she's becoming
a thorn in your side in certain situations,
because she wants to play
these unnecessary games
because to her it's for
her safety and protection, all right.
She thinks doing these things
is going to "guard her heart."
Though, I always tell people listen,
the guarding your heart mentality
is very misunderstood or
the mindset of it is due to
a misunderstanding of the scripture.
Guarding your heart does not mean
trying to stop yourself from being hurt.
It means stopping it from anger,
negativity, jealousy,
all these negative things
that can penetrate your heart
and now manifest into unhealthy actions,
unhealthy mindsets, and just
unhealthy life overall.
So, but in her mind,
she thinks I am trying to look out for me.
She's not playing games
to maliciously hurt you.
Not saying there aren't
any evil women out there
who aren't truly trying to hurt men.
But in a lot of situations,
I would argue in most situations,
she's not trying to be malicious, all right.
She's doing it because again,
she is trying to protect herself in her eyes.
But the same walls
that you have up to protect you,
are the same walls blocking your blessings.
So, again, as a man
I don't necessarily want you to,
to tolerate this
because simply she hasn't healed.
You have to understand that number one,
don't take it personally all the time.
Don't internalize
when a woman is playing games
because it's not necessarily about
her trying to be harmful to you
or her trying to be
intentionally disrespectful to you.
Some things of course,
they're just blatant disrespect.
But a lot of situations,
the game playing is due to
her other deeper issues, unresolved things.
So, when you see that
talk to her about it, all right.
Again, we don't run from red flags immediately,
we address red flags.
And as men, because again
this message is mainly for men right now.
As men we have to learn
how to lead in healthy relationships.
When we identify something unhealthy,
game playing, unhealthy communication,
whatever it is,
we must address it but also lead
with making sure we're not
engaging in those same things.
Sometimes, what happens is
the woman starts to play her games
and what we do is play games in return.
We retaliate,
which that's not healthy, all right.
You can't engage in those toxic behaviors.
You must call it out, you must address it,
you must show how we're going to
better approach the situation,
and if she can't get with the program,
get her out of the way, get rid of her.
No disrespect, but it is what it is.
If she cannot step up to having
a healthier relationship
and a healthier approach,
then she needs to go.
But don't just simply see the red flags,
see the game and just
automatically dismiss, all right.
Unless you can say truly deep inside,
you already know this woman is not for you,
she never belonged to you,
that's a different story.
Outside of that, talk to her
because it's a lot of times,
it's just due to a lack of healing.
And of course, suggest
working on those issues.
Which I have the book
Love After Heartbreak.
Check it out, link in the description.
And it's certain that
you should not just suggest to her
but make sure you do for yourself as well, all right.
Which brings me to number three reason
why women play games,
fear,
so, listen, it goes hand in hand
with what we just talked about,
lack of healing, all right.
Her idea that she's protecting herself
because she's scared
and does not know how to
better handle this situation.
And when you compound that with
negative influences
and bad advice, all right,
it now causes a dynamic where
she starts to play these games.
But again, I want you to understand
that many times these games
are not about malicious intent.
They are not about trying to hurt you.
It's about she thinks
she's protecting herself
and she does not realize that in that process
she is hurting you as well.
Hurt people will hurt people.
But unfortunately, that hurt person
is so blinded by their hurt,
blinded by their fear,
that they don't understand
the negative impact they are having.
So, for some individuals
when you try to address them on the fact
that they're playing games,
they swear they're not playing a game.
Because again, that's how they're processing it.
That's how they're shaping their reality
that this is just what I need to do.
But as a man, you don't have to tolerate that,
you don't have to accept that,
but you have to address it.
You have to learn how to
lead in that situation.
And if she is unwilling to embrace
healthy leadership...
Leading to a healthier better place,
how we're going to correct these problems
then that is your sign
she needs to go,
she is not for you, all right.
So, again, this is
basically the foundational reasons
why women play games.
Things you need to be mindful of.
Things you need to look out for,
but if you notice, I continue to repeat,
do not internalize
the games a woman plays
because there's so many varying reasons
as to why she's doing it.
And again, it is typically
not really about you.
It's about the issues going on within her.
You've got to learn
not to let these things contaminate you
in a way that now
you take the bad experience with this woman
into your next relationship.
The next woman is not playing games
but because you're so...
You got PTSD from you’re last situation,
you now are quick to
look at the things that she's doing
as a potential game.
You're now quick to play your own games
because now you switch from
the person who's being hurt,
to the person who's hurting someone else.
To the person who now thinks,
I have to do this to protect myself.
To the person who starts to
take negative counsel
from other negative bitter men.
Because yes, just like there are
negative bitter women,
there are negative bitter men
leading other individuals to their slaughter,
setting you up for failed relationships,
not truly helping you in the way that you need.
Do not let that be you, all right.
Understand that you have to rise above that
and you have to stay
on a more positive, healthier path
so that you can join together with a woman
who can now embrace that with you
and you can have
a successful, amazing relationship.
So, once again, as always,
leave your comments below,
why do you think women play games.
Leave your comments and thoughts on this video,
be sure to like it,
share this video, subscribe to this channel,
and I will see you in the next one.
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