ROOMIE: Did you think that you need talent, or skills, or perseverance,
or anything like that nowadays to make a good pop song?
Heck no!
Those things are just relics from the past from when things took time and effort to make.
We don't do that kind of things anymore. You!
"What, me?"
Yes, you, watching this video. You just need the right tools to become the next Beyonce
Welcome to "How to Make A Song Without Talent 2"--and I just hit my guitar.
Even if you are using a robot tuner like this one,
other people will have finished their songs before you finished tuning your guitar.
(guitar chord)
Instead, put your instruments where they belong -- in the trash.
Head over to splice.com and search for guitar or whatever instrument you want
and download the top loop.
Repeat this for all the other instruments you want, and combine them in your music program.
When you realize that none of these loops work together at all
and you have no idea how to time-stretch them, or pitch them,
or whatever to make them work together,
(and they probably wouldn't sound good anyway)
head over to one of the website's selling ready-made beats
and download the top beat instead.
Done! Oh my God, music production is so easy, isn't it?
Lyrics are a very personal thing, and it's important that they come from inside of you, from your experiences.
(manic laughter)
(coughing)
No one is interested in your genuine feelings in pop music.
What you need is something that is proven to be a good line.
Since the beat we "made" is pretty happy, we can go with something
like a pickup line, or something that feels a bit party-ish.
A good way of finding lines that people will like is to go to Reddit
because people vote up and down on different jokes and lines all day there.
So we can just go there and just find the best ones.
So I'm here on Reddit, and it's a thread called
"What's the cheesiest/cringest line you can say to a girl."
You're a 9 out of 10 and I'm the one you need.
You smell different when you're awake!
Can I be a gentleman and push in your stool?
Are you a single mom? No.
Would you like to be?
That's actually really good.
So now, I've copied and pasted the line into my favorite writing tool, Masterwriter.
To make it sound more like a song, I'm gonna go ahead and change the word "mom" to "mama".
So, "are you a single mama?"
We should also check back on our beat and see if there's any melodies we can steal in there,
so instead of writing our own melody, we can just kinda sing something that's already there.
(song plays)
(vocalizing) Dada da da da da da da
(singing) Are you a single mama?
The mama thing, like--oh yeah, like inspirational, so
(singing) "You could be a single mama"
"If you just get down with me."
And then we need to rhyme with "me," so I'm just gonna go ahead and put "me" into Masterwriter
Masterwriter's really good at suggesting phrases and stuff.
"If you just get down with me, celebrity wannabe."
So now I'm just going through phrases, right?
So I'm not actually writing anything, I'm just looking what works.
You don't want to be writing anything, you just wanna be choosing things that have already been written for you.
"Baby it's your destiny."
And then maybe again, "you could be a single mama."
"Fill your oven with a bun, let me show you how it's done."
Okay, I think we got a chorus!
(choir vocalizing)
As an upcoming artist nowadays, you don't have time to take singing lessons or practice.
You need to focus on the more important things, like posting lip synchs to musical.ly
or following people on Twitter so they follow you back,
and then unfollow them. So you build your following on those platforms.
Never devote any time to actually developing your craft.
Instead, just shout into the microphone, and let the editing do the rest.
(shouting) "You could be a single mama"
Now, let's quickly edit that.
FRENCH NARRATOR: Twelve seconds later.
(song plays)
Just repeat the lyrics step and the singing step to finish your song, and you've made a song really quickly.
Congratulations, you're so talented.
And because you saved so much time, you'll have time to be an actual person as well as a musician!
I saved so much time today, so I'm gonna go to Wales with my friends Tom and Mike
and we're gonna go on a roller coaster in the middle of the forest.
The zip world forest coaster. It's not sponsored, it's just amazing.
I'll show you some footage from that while I play the final song.
Also, quick shoutout to my friend Andrew Huang, who has been inspiring the last video and this video.
He's really talented, go check him out.
Okay, let's roll the song!
(Song plays. Lyrics onscreen.)