WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW," I HOPE
YOU HAD A GREAT DAY.
I KNOW I DID.
THAT IS BECAUSE I'M HERE.
I'M ALLOWED OUT.
I'M OUT OF QUARANTINE AND IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK, GANG.
IT'S NICE TO BE BACK.
IT WAS DIFFICULT TRYING TO DO THE SHOW OVER ZOOM.
IT WAS MUCH HARDER TRYING TO LET GUILLERMO KNOW THAT I'M AVOIDING
EYE CONTACT.
DIFFICULT TO DO THAT THROUGH A SCREEN, YOU KNOW.
BUT IT WORKED OUT GREAT.
IT DID.
I WAS RELEASED FROM QUARANTINE JUST IN TIME TO RUN SCREAMING
FROM MY HOUSE WHEN THE 4.5 EARTHQUAKE HIT ON FRIDAY NIGHT.
IT WAS BEEN A REALLY GREAT TIME.
DID YOU FEEL THE EARTHQUAKE IAN?
>> I DID.
I FELT IT AND WHAT I LEARNED IS NO ONE DOES ANYTHING THAT MAKES
SENSE DURING AN EARTHQUAKE.
>> James: WHY, WHAT DID YOU DO?
>> MY MOTHER WAS VISITING DOWN FROM BACK HOME.
AND THE EARTHQUAKE HIT AND WE LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND I WAS
LIKE RUN OUTSIDE.
SO THE FIRST THING SHE DID WAS GRAB A HOUSE PLANT AND THEN I
PAUSED THE SHOW WE WERE WATCHING LIKE WE WERE GOING TO LIKE OKAY
T IS AN EMERGENCY, THIS COULD BE THE BIG ONE BUT NOT BIGGER THAN
WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH ON COLUME BO RIGHT NOW.
WE HAVE TO PAUSE IT.
AND THEN WE RAN OUTSIDE.
AND WE JUST STOOD THERE BECAUSE WE COME FROM A FLAYS WHERE WHERE
THERE IS NO EARTHQUAKES AND WE SHOULD STOOD THERE UNTIL WE
NOTICED NONE OF THE OTHER NEIGHBORS WERE OUTSIDE.
AND WE WERE LIKE OKAY, LET'S GO BACK IN AND FINISH KOL DDZ UMBO.
>> James: WELL, I WAS AWAKE WHEN IT HAPPENED AND MY WIFE WAS
ASLEEP.
AND I WAS PLAYING-- I 34 NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT T I WAS PLAYING
A COMPUTER GAME ON MY iPAD, ALL RIGHT.
I'M A FATHER OF THREE, SATURDAY NIGHT, WE'RE IN A PANDEMIC, WHAT
DO YOU WANT ME TO DO.
SO ANYWAY, I'M PLAYING TENNIS AND I'M IN A REAL DUAL AGAINST
SOMEONE, I'M LIKE THIS.
YOU KNOW.
AND THE EARTHQUAKE HAPPENED AND OUR AND MY WIFE WENT LIKE THIS,
SHE WENT?
OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS THAT.
LIKE THAT.
SHE WALKED AROUND THE ROOM GOING THAT'S AN EARTHQUAKE, THAT'S AN
EARTHQUAKE.
AND I'M LIKE I'M SO CLOSE TO ET BOOING THIS GUY.
YOU KNOW.
I MEAN THE ADVANTAGE IS DEUTION, GIVE ME A MINUTE.
>> THAT IS THE HEART OF A CHAMPION, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT
FEDERER WOULD DO.
>> James: THANK YOU, IAN.
I WILL BE HONEST, SHE DID NOT SEE IT THAT WAY.
REG, IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU IN PERSON AGAIN.
ARE REALLY IS.
I'M LOVING THIS JACKET.
>> Reggie: THANK YOU.
IT'S VERY ESSENTIAL.
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: BUT IT, IT IS LOVELY TO BE BACK IN THE STUDIO.
WE HAVE AN EXTRA SPECIAL WEEK PLANNED FOR YOU.
ALICIA KEYS WILL BE HERE NOT JUST TONIGHT, NOT JUST TOMORROW,
NOT JUST WEDNESDAY BUT THURSDAY, ALL FOUR SHOWS.
ALICIA KEYS IS HERE THE WHOLE WEEK.
(APPLAUSE) YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT'S A WEEK A KEYS.
THAT IS WHAT ST. WHAT WEEK IS IT?
>> A WEEK A KEYS.
>> James: WHAT WEEK IS IT.
>> A WEEK A KEYS.
>> A KEEK A KEYS WICCA WICCA KEYS.
>> James: LAST TIME ALICIA KEYS WAS IN THE STUDIO SHE WAS
HOSTING THE SHOW, NOW SHE IS HERE FOR THE WHOLE WEEK.
I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.
I UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.
WITHIN NO TIME SHE THIS WILL BE HER SHOW, I WILL BE WHERE IAN IS
DOING LESS GOOD COMEDY ABOUT PIE MOTHER IN AN EARTHQUAKE.
YOU KNOW, I WILL JUST CHIME IN DURING THE MONOLOGUE.
THAT IS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, I CAN FEEL IT.
BUT ALICIA KEYS IS HERE, ALL WEEK, SO PLEASE STICK AROUND FOR
THAT.
NOW OF COURSE THERE WAS SOME INCREDIBLY SAD NEWS OVER THE
WEEKEND.
AND THAT IS THE TRAGIC PASSING OF SUPREME COURT JUSTICE RUTH
BADER GINSBURG.
IT WAS SO SAD.
YOU DOANT HAVE TO HAVE LIVED IN AMERICA LONG TO UNDERSTAND WHAT
AN INCREDIBLE IMPACT SHE HAD ON THIS COUNTRY, YOU KNOW,
THROUGHOUT HER CAREER AS A LAWYER, A PROFESSOR, SECRETARY
FEMALE JUDGE ON THE SUPREME COURT.
SHE WAS KNOWN AS THE CONSENSUS BUILDER.
SOMEONE WHO IS CONSTANTLY WORKING TO TURN THE WHEELS OF
SOCIAL JUSTICE TOWARDS MEANINGFUL CHANGE IN AREAS LIKE
GENDER AND LGBTQ PAY EQUALITY, WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND CIVIL RIGHTS
AND MARRIAGE EQUALITY.
AND IT ST A FACT THAT AMERICA HAS LOST AN ABSOLUTE HERO AND AN
ICON, THE NOTORIOUS RBG.
HOW INCREDIBLE DO YOU HAVE TO BE GIVEN A COOL RAP NICKNAME WHILE
YOU ARE A LAWYER.
LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENS, EVER.
THAT IS HOW INCREDIBLE SHE WAS.
YOU KNOW?
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HER FAMILY HAD LOST SOMEONE THEY DEARLY
LOVED AND OUR HEARTS GO OUT TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM DURING
THIS MOST DIFFICULT TIME.
AND ALL OF THIS MEANS THAT NOW THERE IS AN OPEN SUPREME COURT
SEAT, JUST A LITTLE MORE THAN 40 DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION.
AND IT OPENS THE DOOR TO A VERY NASTY POLITICAL FIGHT.
MEANING AND WE MIGHT FINALLY HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE
PEACEFUL, SMOOTH SAILING TIMES OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, YOU
KNOW?
I WAS WATCHING THE NEWS AND THEY WERE LIKE GUYS IT IS ABOUT TO
GET NASTY.
I WAS LIKE ABOUT TO GET NASTY.
WHAT IS THE-- THE LAST FOUR YEARS BEEN ABOUT?
AND THIS RALLY ON SATURDAY PRESIDENT TRUMP WASTED NO TIME
BY SAYING HE PLANS TO FILL THE OPEN SUPREME COURT SEAT WITH A
WOMAN.
>> I WILL BE PUTTING FORTH A NOMINEE NEXT WEEK.
IT WILL BE A WOMAN.
>> James: WOW.
IS IT JUST ME, IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SOUND LIKE TRUMP'S
ANNOUNCING A SACRIFICE.
IT WILL BE A WOMAN.
BUT HE'S PROMISED A FEMALE NOMINEE, THIS MEANS TRUMP IS
GOING TO BE SPENDING A LOT OF TIME THIS WEEKEND JOYING HIS
FAVORITE HOBBY, RACING WOMEN ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN.
HERE'S HOW FAST THIS IS ALL MOVING.
THIS MORNING TRUMP CALLED HIS BOXING FRIEND AND SAID HE
ANNOUNCED HIS NOMINATION BY FRIDAY OR SATURDAY OF THIS WEEK.
AND THIS IS TRUE, YOU KNOW IT'S URGENT IF TRUMP IS WILLING TO
WORK ON A SATURDAY.
BUT THIS IS ALL HAPPENING SO FAST.
I KNOW ONE WAY, THE DEMOCRATS COULD SLOW TRUMP DOWN.
♪ >> James: OH, YOU WANT TO NOM
NATURE THIS WEEKEND, JUST DOWN THAT RAMP, JUST DOWN THAT RAMP,
YES.
MOST PEOPLE ARE CLEARING IN A WEEK, YOU SHOULD DO IT IN ABOUT
41 DAYS.
NOW DEMOCRATS SAY THAT THEY HAVE A PLAN TO RETALIATE, ASSUMING
THAT THEY CAN WIN THE PRESIDENCY AND TAKE CONTROL OF THE SENATE
AFTER THE ELECTION.
THEY WOULD ADD TWO NEW STATES TO THE COUNTRY AND INCREASE THE
SIZE OF THE SUPREME COURT.
THEY'RE CALLING THIS QUOTE THE ARMAGEDDON OPTION WHICH SOUNDS
LIKE SOMETHING ON A TEX-MEX MENU THAT INVOLVES GHOST PEPPERS.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO GO WITH THE ARMAGEDDON OPTION, YEAH, NO,
WE ALL LIKE SPICY FOOD, YEAH, ALL OF US.
(LAUGHTER) NOT JANUARY IS, SHE DOESN'T WANT
THE PEPPERS ANYWAY, IT'S FINE.
DEMOCRATS ARE THREATENING TO RETALIATE WITH A VERY STRONG
RESPONSE.
NOW REMEMBER IT'S THE DEMOCRATS, SO THEY WON'T.
(LAUGHTER) BUT THEY'RE THREATENING TO.
HERE'S WHY THEY ARE CALLING IT THE ARMAGEDDON OPTION.
NOT ONLY WOULD THEY PACK THE SUPREME COURT, THEY SAID THEY
ARE GOING TO DO WITH IT BRUCE WILLIS, BEN AFFLECK, LIVE TYLER,
BILLY BOB THORNSON-- THORNTON AND STEVE BUSCEMI.
DO YOU GET IT, DO YOU GET T BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE MOVIE ARM
GEDON.
>> OH.
>> James: YEAH, ARMAGEDDON IT NOW.
>> James: I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD WORK BUT WE CAN'T REALLY
TAKE THE TEMPERATURE OF WHETHER SOMETHING WILL HAVE CULTURAL
SIGNIFICANTS FROM OUR BAND.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I FEEL LIKE IF YOU GOT THAT AT HOME, LET US KNOW BECAUSE I CAN
NO STRESS ENOUGH, CAN I NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, WITHOUT AN
AUDIENCE, THESE FIVE PEOPLE ARE OUR SOUNDING BOARD.
IF IT WAS SOME OBSCURE FRENCH MOVIE, THAT YOU KNOW GEE AIRPORT
OWE WATCHED OVER-- GUILLERMO WATCHED OVER THE WEEKEND, HE
WOULD BE LIKE OH, YEAH, I GET IT,.
SPEAKING OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, THE JUSTICE
DEPARTMENT IS RESPONDING TO THE RECENT PROTEST IN NEW YORK,
SEATTLE AND PORTLAND WE DECLARING THOSE CITIES ANARCHIST
JURISDICTIONS, YEAH, THIS IS AN ATTEMPT TO CUT OFF FEDERAL FUNDS
TO THESE CITIES BECAUSE IF THERE IS ONE THING ANARCHISTS GET
WORRIED ABOUT IS PROPER FEDERAL FUNDING.
IT IS.
THEY'RE LIKE BRING IT DOWN.
BUT WAIT, WITH ABOUT THE FUNDING.
IAN, ARE YOU FROM PORTLAND.
ARE ALL YOUR FAMILY IS FROM PORTLAND.
DOES PORTLAND SEEM LIKE AN AN,IST JURISDICTION FOR YOU.
>> I WOULD LOVE TO, IT IS INSANITY UP THERE, VIOLENCE IS
THE ONLY LANGUAGE ANY OF US SPEAK.
>> James: THAT'S NOT TRUE.
HAVE I BEEN TO PORTLAND.
THOSE LINES AT FARM HER MARKETS ARE BEDLAM.
YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOU MAKE IT OUT WITH AN EMPTY ASS TOTE BAG FULL
OF HEIRLOOM TOMATO.
>> ST THE SWEETEST PLACE T IS EITHER EVERY BREWER IS NAMED
AFTER A PET DOG OR ANOTHER BREWERY THAT ALSO SELLS BEER.
>> BRING IT DOWN, MANNING BRING IT DOWN.
MOVING ON, DO YOU EVER WATCH THE EMMY AWARDS LAST NIGHT.
>> YEAH.
>> DID YOU REALLY?
>> YEAH.
>> THE FAN WAS ON BUT-- .
>> James: LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION AGAIN, BAND, DID YOU
HEAR THE EMMY AS LAST NIGHT.
>> NO.
>> James: NO, NOT ME.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU WATCHED IT BECAUSE IT WAS A BRILLIANT SHOW,
AND THE BIG WINNER OF THE NIGHT WHAT WAS SCHIT'S CREEK, IT WON
NINE EMMYS OVERALL, THE MOST EVER FOR A KM DE IN A SINGLE
YEAR, THE WHOLE THING WAS A [BLEEP] SHOW.
THE TFERLINGS ACADEMY VOTED, REWARDED THE SHOW AND THEY WENT
OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REWARD THE SHOW BECAUSE THE SHOW, IT WAS
ITS FINAL SEASON.
SO IN UNRELATED NEWS, THIS WILL BE OUR SHOW'S FINAL SEASON.
BUT THAT WASN'T THE ONLY EMMY'S HISTORY THAT WAS MADE, ZENDAYA
WON LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES FOR HER ROLE IN EUPHORIA,
YEAH.
AMAZING SHOW THAT.
BRILLIANT SHOW.
MAKING HER THE YOUNGEST EVER TO WIN IN THAT CATEGORY.
HERE IS THE BIG MOMENT.
>> AND THE EMMY GOES TO ZENDAYA, EUPHORIA.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE.
IS IT WAS INCREDIBLE.
THERE IS REALLY ONLY ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE THAT FEELING.
IT STARTS WITH AN E.
ECSTATIC.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Reggie: WELL PLAYED.
WELL PLAYED.
>> James: YOU KNOW HOW TO FIGURE OUT WHICH PEOPLE HAVE
WATCHED BOTH THE EMMYS AND EUPHORIA, DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU DO
THAT, IT IS A ZEN DIAGRAM.
COME ON.
COME ON GUYS.