The Overwhelming Impact of Poor Parenting on Children
There’s no denying the fact that we are all products of our social environment.
The way we see others, the methods we use to navigate the world and its many complexities
are rooted deeply in the interactions we had with our parents as children.
Studies have proven that good parenting in the most formative years of a child’s life
can lead to them growing up as mature, loving, and responsible adults.
In contrast, poor parenting can have devastating effects that affect not only the child but society as a whole.
We all carry burdens passed on to us, have emotions that we can’t quite understand,
and sometimes react to situations in ways that go against everything that we “think” we stand for.
And as a result, we end up feeling guilty, shameful, or inadequate;
we think we’re unworthy of love or trust when all we’re going through is a pattern of coping
that got developed when we were too young to understand.
As valid as these feelings are, we must learn to recognize and accept that we are not always to blame.
The effects of bad parenting decisions can manifest in the form of a broad range of psychological and behavioral disorders
that may remain unacknowledged if we never try to look inwards.
In this video, you’re going to learn how to recognize if you’re a victim of bad parenting
or if you’re already a parent, which parenting practices to stay away from to raise good children.
1. Overprotectiveness and Exercising Too Much Control
No parent wants to see their child fail or get into problems, so they try to shield them as much as possible against all dangers,
not realizing what they’re doing is even more harmful.
If a child is not trained to face challenges and accept failures,
they’ll struggle to manage stress later in life when they eventually have actual responsibilities.
A child who hasn’t learned to handle pressure or manage setbacks
will almost always grow up to be a fearful adult and raise fearful children.
Parents usually exhibit overprotective behaviors with good intentions,
but disappointment can benefit a child as long as they’re taught how to cope with it.
After all, there will come a time when the child is grown and has to stand up for themselves.
2. Being Uninvolved and Neglectful
Just like too much control can negatively affect a child’s development,
being completely neglectful and out of touch with their needs will also do the same.
A neglectful parent is someone who doesn’t respond to their child’s needs
beyond the bare minimum like food, shelter, and clothing.
Some parents might feel like their primary responsibility is earning a good living,
even if that comes at the cost of spending less time with their kids, but that is wrong.
These children are often under the care of nannies or babysitters,
who in most cases have no idea how to offer guidance and emotional support to bring them up properly.
Children of uninvolved or neglectful parents might lack social and emotional skills
and struggle to form meaningful attachments as adults.
3. Parents Trying to live their dreams through their children
It’s natural for parents to harbor big dreams for their children;
they might secretly desire for the children to be like them, only more intelligent and more talented.
However, the problem begins when parents start dictating their children's life and career choices,
effectively taking away everything that makes an individual unique.
Many parents force their children to study law, medicine, engineering,
or anything they think will make the child successful despite knowing that they would rather pursue art or business.
There could be many reasons why parents force their will on their children,
but research says that assertive parents try to compensate for their personal failures
by doing extraordinary things to make their children succeed.
It’s crucial that parents see children for who they are and NOT as who they want them to be.
That’s the only way to raise successful and happy individuals.
4. Passing Judgments Instead of Having Open-Minded Discussions
Authoritarian parents follow a “my way or the highway” approach when it comes to setting rules and boundaries.
They believe that children should be seen, not heard, and have very little consideration towards their children’s feelings.
Authoritarian parents are also more likely not to explain the reasons behind a rule and only focus on obedience.
The punishments they dole out for breaking those rules are meant to make kids feel sorry for their mistakes.
Children who grow up in such households tend to follow those rules most of the time,
but their obedience comes at a massive cost.
Because such children were never allowed to learn how to make better choices,
they grow up with low self-esteem and struggle to make decisions be it in life or their career.
They will always feel that their opinions aren’t important and be afraid to be seen or heard.
In the worst-case scenario, children that grew up in authoritative households
could turn out to be pathological liars because they always lied to avoid punishment.
5. Indoctrinating Children Into a Strict Religion, Thinking it Would Give Them The Best Values
Many parents indoctrinate children into their religion at an early age and commit them to follow strict rituals and prayers.
They believe that offering prayer every day and being a devout follower of the said religion will be enough for them to gain moral values.
This couldn’t be further from the truth
because children need more than religion to grow up to be good, responsible individuals.
Too many forced religious activities only make children pretend to be good to avoid negative consequences.
Such children often walk away from religion altogether later in life when they realize that their parents
had only deprived them of many things, which they would have enjoyed if not for their faith.
There’s no replacement for proper discipline and guidance,
and parents should be okay with their children wanting to practice religion at their own pace and style.
Parenthood is not easy by any means, and sometimes,
despite all efforts, parents raise children who are neither perfect in their eyes nor in those of society.
And that is okay. Humans are deeply flawed, and even with all our imperfections, it’s possible to live a healthy, happy life.
Children deserve all the love from their parents because, after all, that’s the only kind of love that should not be a privilege.