- I WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS
ON EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW.
- THANK YOU.
- NOW, THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE,
I THOUGHT WE HAD A WEDDING FOR YOU.
WHY WOULD YOU GO AND GET MARRIED AGAIN?
I WAS TRYING TO SAVE YOU MONEY.
- YES, THERE-- WE ACTUALLY--
WHEN WE GOT IN THE CAR AFTER THAT,
WE WERE QUITE CONCERNED THAT WAS A REAL WEDDING
AND THOUGHT, "OH, MY GOD,"
LIKE, "SHOULD WE BE CALLING IN OUR LAWYERS?"
LIKE, WE WERE VERY UNSURE.
WE THOUGHT THAT WAS REAL.
SO BASICALLY, WE RENEWED OUR VOWS.
- I SEE. - YEAH.
- WITHOUT ME THE NEXT TIME.
- WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU WERE THERE
FOR THE MOST SPECIAL OF IT ALL.
I MEAN, I HAD TENNIS BALLS IN MY HAIR.
IT WAS GREAT.
- AND IT WAS JUST US.
- IT WAS JUST US. - IT WAS REALLY INTIMATE.
- YEAH, SPECIAL.
- SO NOW YOU'VE ADDED "SWEETING," WHICH IS A GREAT--
WHY NOT ADD THAT TO YOUR NAME?
- I ONLY ADDED IT
'CAUSE IT'S THE MOST ADORABLE NAME OF ALL TIME.
- IT IS. - SWEETING?
- IT'S A WONDERFUL NAME.
- I DIDN'T ONLY ADD IT FOR THAT.
THAT'S REALLY MEAN.
BUT IT'S ADORABLE.
WE ACTUALLY SAY--
ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE VERY SILLY.
WE KIND OF SAY, "LIFE IS SWEETING."
IT'S, LIKE, OUR THING. - RIGHT.
- I MEAN, WE'RE THAT SILLY THAT I BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT.
I HAVE NAPKINS THAT SAY "LIFE IS SWEETING,"
SO I BROUGHT THEM FOR YOU.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO, LIKE--
YOU CAN, LIKE, BLOW YOUR NOSE IN THEM.
YOU DON'T NEED TO, LIKE, USE THEM FOR--
THEY'RE JUST FOR WHATEVER YOU WANT.
THEY'RE JUST KIND OF CUTE.
- THEY'RE NOT SOFT ENOUGH THAT--
THEY'RE TOO STIFF FOR THAT,
BUT I THINK THAT THEY'RE NICE.
[laughter]
- THEY'RE WONDERFUL QUALITY,
AND I THINK THAT'S ADORABLE.
AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I DID NOT GIVE YOU A WEDDING GIFT, I REALIZED.
- OH, PLEASE.
- AND SO GUESS WHAT YOU GET?
- OH, YAY! - YEAH.
- I WAS HOPING--
[laughing]
[squeals]
- YOU HAVE A LETTER OF AUTHENTICITY.
- YES!
THIS IS AMAZING.
OH, THAT IS SO SWEET.
- I'VE SIGNED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE.
- THANK YOU.
- AND YOU GOT BIG BUCKS NOW.
YOU SHOULD BUY THIS FROM ME. - [laughing]
- I DON'T KNOW WHY--
BUT I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU ANYWAYS. - YEAH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT'S AMAZING.
RYAN'S GONNA LOVE THIS. HE LOVES ROCKS.
- YEAH. - THIS IS GREAT.
THAT'S THE THING. I FIND EVERYONE LOVES ROCKS.
- YEAH, TOTALLY.
- AND, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL GIVE--
HERE, I'LL GIVE ANOTHER ROCK FOR HIS BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
I MISSED HIS BIRTHDAY. - YES.
I THREW HIM QUITE A LITTLE PARTY.
- I KNOW, TELL ME ABOUT-- HERE, YOU CAN--
AND IF YOU NEED A TOTE BAG, I'LL SELL YOU THIS.
- OH, THANK YOU. I WAS HOPING FOR THAT.
THANK YOU.
I THREW HIM QUITE THE PARTY.
I FEEL LIKE IF I WASN'T AN ACTOR,
I WOULD BE A PARTY PLANNER IN ANOTHER LIFE.
I JUST, LIKE, LOVE DOING THAT SORT OF THING.
I HAD A LOT OF HELP.
BUT I HIRED SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMERS
TO DANCE TO OUR FAVORITE SONG,
WHICH IS ONE DIRECTION.
- WHICH SONG? WHICH ONE?
- "WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL."
I DON'T WANT TO, LIKE, THROW MY HUSBAND UNDER THE BUS,
BUT HE LOVES ONE DIRECTION.
[laughter]
I LOVE IT TOO. I LOVE THEM TOO.
SO ANYWAY, WE GOT THEM TO THIS WHOLE DANCE TO--
TO DO THIS WHOLE DANCE FOR HIM TO HIS SONG.
[One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" playing]
[laughter]
- I LOVE THAT YOU CAN STILL--
- IT WAS MY VERSION OF STRIPPERS.
- THAT'S--WELL, THEY'RE NOT REALLY UNDERWATER.
- NO, THEY WERE.
- THAT'S NOT SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW.
THOSE ARE DANCERS IN A POOL.
[laughter]
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING IS.
- WELL, THEY WERE-- YEAH, I JUST REALLY--
I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING, LIKE, SEXY FOR HIM,
SO THAT WAS, LIKE, THE CLOSEST THING I WAS GONNA DO.
LIKE, THAT WAS "THE STRIPPERS." - RIGHT.
- THEY WERE IN THE WATER. THEY WERE ALL WET.
- NO, IT'S DEFINITELY-- IT'S A GREAT PARTY.
- SEXY, RIGHT? - I'M NOT TAKING THE PARTY DOWN.
I'M JUST SAYING THEY'RE NOT SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMERS.
- LOOK HOW CUTE. THAT'S PRETTY SYNCHRONIZED.
THEY HAD UMBRELLAS...
[laughter]
AT THE SAME TIME.
THEY HAD THESE THINGS.
YOU HAVE TO WEAR THAT WHEN YOU'RE SYNCHRONIZED.
I MEAN, THAT'S PRETTY SYNCHRONIZED
WITH THE NOSE THING.
THEY HAD TO GO UNDER AND DIVE.
- THAT'S CALLED SWIMMING.
[laughter]
BUT THEN I SAW A PICTURE OF A MERMAID THAT WAS THERE.
SO SHE WAS UNDERWATER THE WHOLE TIME?
- WELL, SO I WANTED-- I ALWAYS WANT, LIKE,
SPECIAL THINGS THAT PEOPLE ARE GONNA REMEMBER.
SO I WANTED-- WHEN RYAN CAME IN,
'CAUSE IT WAS A SURPRISE,
I SAID I WANT A MERMAID, LITERALLY.
SO WE FOUND THIS WOMAN WHO DOES THIS FOR A LIVING.
- LITERALLY. [chuckles]
- LITERALLY.
- "LITERALLY, I WANT"--
- WELL, YEAH, AND WE HAD TO--
SO SHE JUST HUNG OUT IN THE POOL.
AND WHAT WAS SO FUNNY-- LIKE, LEGALLY,
SHE HAD TO BE OUT OF THE POOL ONCE AN HOUR,
SO ALL OF, LIKE, THE SECURITY WOULD COME LIFT HER UP
AND TAKE HER TO MY BATHROOM FOR, LIKE, TEN MINUTES AN HOUR.
AND SHE WOULD JUST, LIKE, SIT IN THERE,
'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY LEGS.
I MEAN, SHE HAD LEGS, BUT, LIKE,
SHE HAD TO HAVE, LIKE, A THING.
BUT SHE WOULD JUST SIT IN THERE AND BE, LIKE, FED, AND, LIKE--
LIKE, WE WOULD FEED HER, AND, LIKE--
AND THEN SHE'D COME BACK OUT.
- WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TO FEED HER?
DOESN'T SHE HAVE ARMS?
I MEAN, IT'S NOT--
- SHE HAD ARMS.
[laughter]
- JUST 'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE LEGS.
- WE WERE TRYING TO DO THE MERMAID THING,
LIKE, THROWING FISH AT HER.
- YEAH.
YOU GOT RIPPED OFF LIKE CRAZY.