-Our first guest tonight is an Emmy and Academy Award-winning
actor you know from "Basic Instinct," "Wall Street,"
and "Fatal Attraction."
He stars in the Netflix series "The Kominsky Method,"
which is streaming now.
Let's take a look.
-You know, I wake up every morning, and my first thought
is, "What part of me is not working today?"
-Can I tell you a secret? -Sure.
-Sometimes when I laugh real hard, I fart a little.
-Oh, please. You're still young. Wait till you're my age.
Every time I sneeze, I hear rattling around in my hips.
It feels like a foreign object broken loose.
-Yeah, we are passengers on boats slowly sinking.
-Please welcome back to the show Michael Douglas, everyone.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Welcome back. -Thank you, Seth.
Always a delight to have you. -Thank you.
-Nice of you to have me. It's been great.
-This is a show about people getting older.
-About people getting older. I don't know how they cast me.
-Yeah. I can't figure this out. They just came to me.
I said, "This is a stretch, man. This is a real stretch."
-Well, there is one thing that would lead me to believe
that it would seem like a stretch to you,
which is your father, Kirk Douglas --
You're going back out to L.A.
He is about to have his 102nd birthday.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I'm going out -- I'm going out Sunday.
Sunday, he's 102. -102, which is, I mean --
What a gift to you and your family to still have him around.
-Except I'm afraid it's a generation skipping thing.
-Oh, yeah. -My kids are in good shape.
Me, I'm not so sure. -Right.
They're already casting you as an old guy.
Your dad's still alive. It's not fair at all.
What do you do for a 102nd birthday?
-Uh, not much. Not much, you know?
No. First thing is very smart. We're making it for lunch.
-Okay, there you go. -You know, make it good.
And then that lets him go out and not do his favorite line,
which he's been doing for the last 30 years,
which is... "I'm late for the disco."
You know?
So, we'll have a good time. You know, he's amazing.
He's is -- Actually I blame myself.
He has discovered FaceTime. -Oh, wow. Gotcha.
-Well, that's all great except, you know,
I live on the East coast, so he hasn't --
He's kind of forgot about the time change,
you know, the three-hour time change.
So, he likes dinner 7:30, 8:00.
And Catherine and I, we're up --
We're to bed early, you know, so it's like 10:30, 11:00 at night.
So, I'll get a ring.
"Hi, Dad." "Where are you?"
I said, "I'm in bed, Dad. I'm in bed."
"Let me see." You know?
I know where he's going.
I said, "I know -- You just want to see Catherine, don't you?"
So poor Catherine,
she's got to fluff her hair up and everything.
"Hi, Kirk!" You know, like...
-She has to get hair and makeup for bed.
That's not fair at all.
-No, it's rough. Rough.
-So, do you think that -- Going back to the show,
obviously, it's a comedy, it's about getting older.
Do you find getting older has humor to it?
Has that been your experience thus far?
-Well, that's why I'm doing the show, to find that humor.
It's produced by Chuck Lorre.
-A very funny man. -Yeah, pretty good.
Yeah, great -- you know, going back to "Dharma & Greg,"
"Two and a Half Men,"
"Big Bang Theory," "Young Sheldon."
But it's in the streaming situation, which is really cool,
because there's no commercials, right?
It can be a half-hour comedy.
It can be 20 minutes one week, 40 minutes the next.
But the purpose when I read it -- it's a great script --
was finding the humor in getting old.
And I said, "I think I got to read this.
I got to work on that."
And so we got an unbelievable response already,
probably more than any picture I've ever had.
-Oh, that's fantastic. -I'm enjoying it a lot.
Alan Arkin's a lovely partner to work with. And here we go.
-Another one of your co-stars is Danny DeVito,
who you have a long history with,
and you put him in "Cuckoo's Nest."
You worked together in "Romancing the Stone."
Is it true --
Because that is a movie that means a great deal to me.
Is it true that he, Danny DeVito --
I've heard him say this, and I don't know,
you know, how good a source he is --
that he saved your life.
Did he save your life?
-I can't believe that he gets away with this story.
-Okay. -He -- Yes.
I had -- we were down in "Romancing the Stone,"
and a snake bit me, and it bit me on the arm.
Right? Now, that was the extent of it.
Danny, on the other hand, says that he reached over
and he sucked the blood out of the snake wound on my arm.
Then he says, "Can you imagine if it was on his balls?!"
You know?
I said, "Danny..."
I mean, what he'll do for a joke. I don't know.
You know? -So none of this is true?
-No, no, I mean, he was there when the snake bit me, you know?
-Didn't do anything, though? -He didn't do nothing!