been married almost a year now man yeah
[Applause]
it's cool
you know what it is when you whip
somebody for a while you start to notice
stuff you know i mean that's what i'm
saying like don't try to play me dog
your lady's fine my lady fine too don't
try to play me
but her feet
the feet [ __ ] up from the ankle up
she's beautiful
from that angle up
look like faith evans beautiful black
woman you understand what i'm saying
from that ankle down whoo
morgan freeman it's messed up no
because you can't cuddle with no woman
with bad feet you know what i'm saying
you know we try to do that bigger fourth
leg like you're wrapping legs up the
first time my wife she scraped the whole
side
of my it wasn't up but blood and glass
in my [ __ ] i thought she had some shoes
on in the bed i said girl how you doing
get in the bed with your timberland
please she said sean you so crazy i got
no shoes huh
i said [ __ ] you could break out of jail
with them feet what's wrong with you
you could just kick the wall down
she said sean you just not used to
dating an athletic woman
i said girl you better show me some gold
medals
i love it old man you know what i never
thought i'd get married i didn't think i
was that type of dude because i started
off freaky dicky man yeah
i was freaky diggy because i was having
sex too young i started at 15 that's too
young she yeah she was 19. i'm telling
on her everybody's telling now
i'm telling her her name was anita
yeah
she was 19 when she was still in high
school because she had failed a grade
and she was born in september so
so she came up to me on earth release
day
yeah she came over early release day she
said hey boy
you want to give me head
after school and i said yes ma'am but
i know what giving head was i'm only 15
years old but i couldn't tell no she was
the coolest girl in school she could buy
like a mile cigarette yeah she could
vote right
remember she came to school i voted
sticking wrong everybody's like oh snap
you got a voice so i could
not i couldn't tell her no
but i didn't know what giving head was i
had to ask my best friend zach he had
been having sex for three months so he
knew everything about it
i said hey zach what's giving head you
just think what you got to do sean
when you get down there
you got to find the little man
in the boat okay
then you got to knock the little man out
the boat with your tongue i said got it
i thought it would make sense when i saw
it don't make sense to the day
but what i do know is you post a makeout
if you watch saved by the bell you post
a makeout first suppose the kids fall
off the windows up so i got some winter
fresh gum in my mouth to get my breath
fresh for the kissing anita was not
about that she said come back in and eat
this
i said damn
i didn't want to spit the gum out i had
just put it in you understand
yeah
let's see how all the flavor crisps in
that moment
so i just stood up to the top of my
cheeks man and i get back there man she
had an old school coochie man yeah it
was from 1973 man
that thing went hairy man it was hairy
but no no but it was juicy though it was
juicy yesterday
it looked
it looked like easy you know what i'm
talking about it was flowing
so
so i'm down there and i'm looking for
this dude in this boat
but clearly he is capsized
and he's lost in his amazonian jungle
right so i'm like sir
sir i'm a machete
adina got pissed she so what you down
there saying grace eat that [ __ ] pow
she smacked me in the back of the head
the dog flies out and it gets stuck in
the coochie here man
i can't get it out so help me jesus
i couldn't get out i got to go and i
left the next thing
she comes up to me in school she said
hey boy
did you spit gum
and my [ __ ]
said no ma'am she said yes you did
[ __ ] you're coming back to my
house on friday you eat my [ __ ]
properly i said yes ma'am so when i get
it on friday i'm not here to have a good
time i'm here to do a job right
so while she's in the back getting ready
i say i'm gonna pay myself for this job
with everything in this fridge i'm gonna
eat that that's gonna be my payment man
she has some jamaican jerk wings in
there man
yeah with the extra urban spice on that
[ __ ] right so i'm getting down
things taste good you know i'm getting
down she's like come back here and eat
this bone tag i sit down i ain't washing
my hands
they'll wipe my face don't you feel
sorry for her brother don't you feel
something
no cuz she rude too you understand
she even shaved all the hair off her
stuff all she did was cut patches out
so i still know what i'm doing right so
i'm just rubbing my face around and all
the sauce and stuff is getting on her
sensor part she started you know oh [ __ ]
her legs started shaking i think i'm
doing a good job so i'm pretty much
wiping my face faster on her stuff all
of a sudden she jumped out the bed like
the three students
started running around the house
i thought we had to call the ambulance
man she was in the hospital all weekend
and i went back to school on monday like
yo
i told the [ __ ] up you know what i'm
saying i put grown ass women in the
hospital dog
want to talk to me for the rest of high
school
that's dragon time get away from me
appreciate y'all
you