Brainy Dose Presents:
8 Reasons Why Certain People Never Admit Their Mistakes
Everybody makes mistakes.
Sometimes they’re harmless—like forgetting your morning coffee on the counter.
Other mistakes have serious repercussions.
They can hurt people.
The truth is, mistakes happen all the time, but apologies, not so much.
We’ve all been hurt and have hurt someone else, and almost everyone knows just how healing
a sincere apology can be—and how painful the absence of one is.
Not saying sorry can severely damage relationships.
It can even end them.
When so much is on the line, you would think that apologies would be a priority.
However, in reality, most people don’t want to admit they’ve done something wrong.
There’s no pleasure in “I’m sorry,” and there’s no guaranteed reward, either.
Although everyone will resist giving apologies to specific people in certain situations,
there are some people who never admit fault or utter an authentic apology.
These people have an especially hard time taking responsibility for their actions.
Here are 8 reasons why some people never admit their mistakes.
Number 1 - Fear Of Seeming Weak
Although confronting someone you’ve hurt with a sincere apology takes courage, Western
society doesn’t see it that way.
Instead, admissions of fault are perceived as acts of weakness.
Many people resist saying “sorry” because they think other people will judge them for
being weak.
Some toxic phrases that represent this belief include “stand your ground” and “don’t
back down.”
Even though apologizing is often compared to submission, it is not a signal of surrender.
It is an act of compassion and a sign of respect.
Admitting your faults takes courage, and requires a sense of security—two traits possessed
by emotionally strong people.
When you say “sorry,” it shows that you respect and trust yourself and those around
you.
This immense level of confidence is not a weakness.
Number 2 - Fear Of Retaliation
Those who struggle to apologize may also fear retaliation.
These people have an “eye-for-an-eye” mentality, and they believe that those around
them do, too.
They believe that if they admit their wrongdoing, the other party will surely seek retribution.
Naturally, they avoid vulnerability as a defense mechanism.
These types of people haven’t learned how to trust others.
If you encounter someone like this, the best way to handle any situation is to set and
enforce strict boundaries.
They’re best kept at a distance from the things that matter most in your life - because
they could wreak havoc.
Even though you might want to help this person learn how to trust, it’s better just to
leave them alone.
Trying will only wear you down because their journey of trust, honesty, and vulnerability
will be a lengthy and grueling one.
Number 3 - Fear Of Loss
Although giving an apology is more likely to keep someone around than drive them away,
some people maintain the twisted logic that if they try to make amends, they’ll only
create further damage that results in abandonment.
This is one of the most difficult fears that motivate people to resist apologizing.
For these people, the thought of losing someone is so paralyzing that they just can’t say,
“sorry.”
Those who feel this way need a safe space full of constant reassurance, open communication,
and honesty to move past their fears.
If you know someone like this, you can help them - lead by example.
When they see that you run toward and not away from your mistakes, they may feel more
at ease admitting their faults.
Number 4 - Fear Of Imperfection
We should all repeat the mantra “I am human” because, in that statement, we admit that
we sometimes have poor judgment and make mistakes.
We admit that we’re not perfect, and at the same time that we hold value—that we
are worthy.
Unfortunately, this understanding of our own humanity isn’t commonplace.
Instead, for many, life feels daunting.
Some believe that if they mess up, it is a reflection of their worth.
These people resist admitting their faults because they fear being seen as less than
perfect.
They’re insecure and afraid that drawing attention to their faults will push others
away.
When, in reality, it is their reluctance to apologize that may cause others to distance
themselves.
Coming to a place where you can recognize your own worth and your own susceptibility
to mistakes requires grace, compassion, and honesty.
It’s not easy.
For people who feel this way, acceptance from others is important.
You can help them by providing validation that they are loved - and reminding them that
mistakes are inevitable.
When they see that you won’t punish them for their faults, they’ll become more willing
to admit their mistakes and apologize.
Number 5 - A Desire For Chaos
There are some people who aren’t interested in getting help or becoming the type of person
who can say “I’m sorry” and maintain healthy relationships.
Some people, like narcissists love chaos.
They find joy in misery, withholding, and wrongdoing.
So, how are you supposed to interact with someone like this—someone intent on creating
situations that require an apology and equally disinterested in giving one?
Well, you shouldn’t.
Avoiding people who are hell-bent on hurting others isn’t a bad practice.
Similar to how you would deal with a person who doesn’t trust others, you should make
it a point to maintain strict boundaries with those who seek out chaos - if you must interact
with them.
It’s essential to be firm and sure in your boundaries, because these kinds of people
will actively seek out cracks in your walls.
If they manage to slip in, they’ll catch you off guard with immense quantities of drama.
When they manage to work an apology from you for their mistakes, they rejoice in the success
of their manipulation.
Number 6 - Obliviousness
Some who resist apologies aren’t malicious—they’re oblivious.
These people could be caught red-handed with their pants down and evidence in plain sight,
and they still wouldn’t understand what they did wrong.
When they’re called out, they’re like deer in headlights—and they can do just
as much damage if you come in contact with one.
So, what are you supposed to do with oblivious people?
Swerve out of the way?
Maybe.
It’s important to note that some neurodivergent people struggle to detect social cues, and
most of the time, they actively work to learn how to interact.
This isn’t about them.
For others, obliviousness takes on a whole new level - through learned behavior.
Those who’ve been relentlessly coddled or self-shielded create a barrier of unawareness
that protects them from taking responsibility for their actions.
Although they may apologize from a prodding sense of guilt, they’ll only feel ashamed
after considerable action on your part.
Number 7 - Stubbornness
When all of the previous shortcomings are combined, you end up with a person who is
just plain stubborn.
Even though stubborn people believe they did something wrong, understand how it hurt someone
else and can admit that saying “sorry” would improve a situation, they resist apologizing
out of principle.
What is that principle?
No one knows.
If you encounter a stubborn person who resists giving an apology, be just as stubborn in
insisting that an apology is necessary.
Call them out and be steadfast about your needs.
They’ll usually come around once they realize that their principles of self-preservation
aren’t helping them.
Although they still won’t want to.
Number 8 - Resistance To Going First
In some situations, it’s not just one person at fault.
When tensions rise, things can be said and done by both parties that call for apologies.
You’ve probably experienced this, too.
Someone infuriates you, and then you act in ways you’re not proud of.
Even though both people recognize that everyone deserves an apology, being the first one to
offer a peace agreement requires pride to be set aside.
Most people are ready to provide the relief, but some simply refuse to initiate healing.
These people might even resist apologizing after they’ve gotten theirs.
So, what’s the best way to deal with these people?
It might be tempting to cut ties or get angry, but that won’t serve any good if you want
to maintain the relationship.
Instead, you can gently direct them and show them the way.
After things cool down a bit, you could ask, “Were you about to say something?”
This is a good way to help them come upon the “I’m sorry” that’s lingering in
their mind.
They do think about it.
It’s just too hard for them to say.
Another option is to confront them with a calm attitude - introducing the topic by saying,
“we need to talk” or asking, “can we talk about something serious?”
With a focused mindset, the two of you can calmly talk through your problems.
A reluctance to apologize is almost always a method of self-defence.
Those who struggle to admit their mistakes do so as a way of managing their negative
emotions.
Even though these people are comfortable feeling angry, irritated, numb, or emotionally distanced,
they usually find feelings of intimacy and vulnerability threatening.
This unhealthy coping mechanism is generated from fear, and it often creates more fear.
Those who resist taking responsibility for their faults think that lowering their guard
- even slightly - will cause the walls they’ve built to crumble to the ground.
They might be right.
Without their psychological defenses, they become prone to uncomfortable emotions - like
sadness, despair, sorrow, grief, and pain.
After years or even a lifetime of avoiding these emotions, they may not be well-equipped.
However, feeling these things can initiate inner healing.
Opening up to others is therapeutic and empowering.
It leads to deep positive feelings of intimacy, trust, and connection.
And these shared emotions create further satisfaction and fulfillment in personal relationships.
What do you think?
Do you have experience with someone who struggled to apologize?
How did you get past it, and what obstacles did you face?
Tell us below!
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