- Today's rant is definitely not sponsored by Mountain Dew.
- Let's talk about that.
(soft electronic music)
Good mythical morning.
- Look, I don't know who needs to hear this today,
but whoever you are, wherever you are,
do not drink Mountain Dew.
Trust me, if you are in 2021,
and you're still doing the Dew,
you are doing life wrong, son.
- Okay, so, this is one of your rants.
This is a rant episode.
- Bingo, Link.
- Yeah, I mean, they don't get nearly as many views.
- Right.
- But, you know what, I love-
- But this one's about Mountain Dew,
and people care about Mountain Dew.
- I love your rants.
Tell me, please, what's wrong with Mountain Dew?
- Okay, in a nutshell,
they're doing way too much.
Believe me, this has been weighing on me for a long time.
I can't keep it in any longer.
It is time I finally gave some Mountain Dew
a piece of my mind.
It's time for R-hant & R-have with Rhett.
Mountain Dew is, dare I say, thirsty.
- Thirsty. (Rhett chuckles)
- It's not that you're thirsty for Mountain Dew.
No, no, no, it's that Mountain Dew is thirsty for you,
and they need to stop.
Little history.
Mountain Dew was first invented in the 1940s
by brothers Barney and Ally Hartman.
They're brothers.
- Okay.
- When they moved from Georgia to Knoxville, Tennessee,
and couldn't find their favorite whiskey mixer,
so they decided to just make it themselves,
and they called their creation
Mountain Dew. - Mountain Dew?
- Link, please, be of assistance,
and pull down this projector
that I've got right here behind us.
Didn't know if you saw that.
There's a projector screen.
- I'll pull down the screen,
but I'm not pulling down the projector.
- That was a test.
- Did you have this installed last night or something?
- Mm-hm, it's actually been here since we started.
- No, this is dramatic.
- May I present to you exhibit A,
a vintage Mountain Dew commercial from the '60s.
Roll the clip, Twinkle Fingees.
(people clap)
- Yahoo, Mountain Dew.
(cork whizzes)
- [Rhett] Oh, kind of a-
- [Link] Oh yeah.
- [Rhett] Hillbilly theme.
See?
- [Link] Here we go.
♪ Refusing to Bill or to Coo ♪
- [Rhett] Yep, didn't like those guys.
♪ But Clem was right smart ♪
♪ He appealed to her heart ♪
♪ With that gal-gettin' good ol' Mountain Dew ♪
Gal-gettin'. - Gal-gettin'.
I like that.
- [Rhett] Watch what happens to her.
- Yahoo, Mountain Dew.
(objects whizz)
- Oh, snap.
- Something came out of her ears.
I've done some research,
but I haven't been able to figure out what it was.
Sounded like bullets.
Could you please roll the screen up now?
- Sure.
Oh, that's slow and steady.
- Like I always say, when people use sex to sell a product,
your antenna should go up, if you know what I mean.
(Rhett chuckles)
- Which one?
- The point is this, right from the start,
Mountain Dew showed that they are try hards,
they're extra, they're cringey,
they're always doing the most,
they're always over the top, they're super desperate,
they are the real life version
of the most extra emoji I can think of.
You know which one that is?
The croissant.
You don't believe me?
Here is a actual non-exhaustive list
of all the Mountain Dew flavors ever offered to the public.
(Rhett laughs)
(Link laughs)
Let it scroll, Twinkle Fingees.
Right now, there's flavors scrolling in front of us.
You can't see them, but Link,
by imagining that, how many flavors would you say that is?
- Does this include ICEEs?
- It does not include ICEEs.
- 30.
- Try 30,000, my friend,
give or take a couple dozen thousand.
- Hold on, that's not.
- But it's not just about having 30,000 different sodas.
Mountain Dew is on a desperate-
- What is the number?
- I don't know, I didn't count.
(whip cracks)
Desperate mission to become unavoidable.
They want to infiltrate every aspect of your life.
Case in point, the Mountain Dew margaritas from Red Lobster.
Take a swig of that, Link.
For $9, you can get this at any Red Lobster
where it's available.
(people laugh)
- Wow. - What do you think?
(Link clears throat)
Little strong?
- It's strong, and I'm glad it's strong,
I plan on drinking the whole thing,
because I kinda feel like I know where this is going.
- Do you feel like you needed it?
- For this?
(Link laughs)
A little bit, but no, it doesn't-
- No, exactly, he doesn't need it in his life.
- It actually
needs more Mountain Dew. - Link,
what about the Mountain Dew cookbook?
Released in November 2020
to celebrate the brand's 80th birthday,
you can purchase this for $30
at the Dew Store online.
- [Link] Seriously?
- Because the best way to reward fans
is to take their recipes
and sell them back to them for profit.
- Breakfast.
- Link, try that out.
- What?
- Try out that cookbook.
- What do you mean, try it out?
- Just try it out.
I wanna know if you feel like you need it in your life.
- Wing sauce.
- Just quit showing it to the people,
and try it out for yourself.
- Well, electric lemonade, Moscow Mule.
- [Rhett] Do you feel like you need that in your life?
- No.
Grilled steak, no.
Jalapeno poppers.
- He doesn't need it in his life, people,
that's what he's saying. - Potato chips.
- Okay, put the book away, Link, please.
- Yeah, don't need this,
it's overpriced. - What about Mountain Dew.
- Stupid.
- Doritos?
We don't have those, so could you please
bring down the screen once more?
That's what they look like.
(metal clangs)
- Oh, right here?
We show pictures lots of times on the show.
We've never had to use this, but okay.
- Yeah, but we will from now on.
Can you now put the screen back up?
- [Link] All right, all right, all right.
- Now, if you wanna imagine what those would taste like,
can I have?
Could you just open those up for a second?
'Cause we couldn't get hold of these.
I just want you to be able to imagine
what that would taste like.
Taste.
- Wet Doritos,
a little tangy.
- Do you feel like you need it in your life?
- I don't like wet Doritos,
but if I assume that it's not wet,
but it just tastes like a Dorito, maybe.
- What about Dewitos,
which is Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew?
- Is that a thing, really?
- I'm gonna need you to pull down the screen.
That's what it looks like.
- Oh, and this is not fake.
- [Rhett] No, it's Mountain Dew Dewitos.
- The top looks fake.
- Yeah, can you put it back up?
Now, if you wanna know what that tastes like,
I'd like you to drink some of the Mountain Dew
in your Doritos bag.
(Link laughs)
Just try it.
- [Link] I mean.
- [Rhett] Oh, wow.
It's really been polluted, hadn't it?
- I mean, it's turned totally orange.
- Try a little bit of that.
You feel like you need that in your life?
- Absolutely not, that is horrible.
- What about Mountain Dew hot sauce?
Link, please pull down the screen.
That's what it looks like.
This is from Joel Embiid.
- [Link] The basketball player?
- The basketball player.
There's only 500 available.
You have to follow them on their social media,
and just be one of the ones lucky enough to get it.
This is not even available to the general public.
Please put the screen back up.
- So it's in demand, see?
They know how to create demand.
- What about Mountain Dew-flavored lip balms?
I'm not gonna ask you to pull down the screen.
I've actually got these.
I would like you to place them on your lips.
I would like you to try them.
- Look at this. - I would like you to tell me
what you think about them.
- Oh, look. - And I would like you
to tell me if you think you need them in your life.
- Whole freakin' assortment.
I'm gonna go with the Code Red.
- Available for 11.99 on Amazon.
- Lip balm.
I mean, I like strange-flavored lip balms.
Excuse me. - Did you get
a little hiccup there from the-
- That was a burp.
- [Rhett] From the margarita?
- It was a burp from the margarita.
- That looks a little bit like lip gloss.
- Yeah, all of a sudden,
(people laugh)
my lips are pink now.
Come on, man. - Listen, as your friend,
I feel like I can safely say
you don't need that in your life.
(Link laughs)
Do you feel like you need that in your life?
- Are the other ones those colors?
Would it have been purple?
- Okay, I think I'm making a great point here,
but infiltrating your products
is not enough for Mountain Dew.
They insist on infiltrating your media as well.
Check out this clip from "The Walking Dead."
Yes, you anticipated it.
Please pull down that screen.
- I know how this works.
- Twinkle Fingees.
- Once you start with something.
- Roll it.
- [Link] Oh.
This is the real show.
- Got something for you to wash that down with.
- [Link] Oh, seriously?
- Had it chillin' out back in the stream.
- [Link] Nuh-uh, no way.
- [Rhett] This is happening.
- [Link] She gave him a Mountain Dew?
- [Rhett] Oh, and look at him talk about it.
- Is this legit?
- [Link] Oh no.
- Mountain Dew?
- [Link] No.
- Wow.
- Good as new behind some crates
in an old gas station.
- I will never stop missing these.
I mean, I used to drink this like water.
(Rhett laughs)
- Can you believe they did that?
- That is sad, man.
- It is so shameless.
Now, I should've clarified,
yes, please put the screen back up,
I should've clarified,
that is from "The Walking Dead: World Beyond,"
meaning that no one has actually seen it until now,
but still, it is a problem.
But listen, getting into your TV is not all they're doing.
Mountain Dew also wants to get all up in your inbox.
May I present to you the Mountain Dew Dewsletter.
Link, please, the screen.
- The screen?
- The screen.
- A newsletter?
- This is a newsletter.
- Oh.
- [Rhett] Do you feel like you want that
all up in your inbox?
- [Link] It's well designed.
- Do you want it in your inbox?
Do you need something else in your inbox,
and do you need that thing to be from Mountain Dew itself?
- No, you got a point.
I don't want emails from Mountain Dew.
- Okay, Mountain Dew, listen,
do you not see how annoying it is
that, at every turn, you're trying to find a new way
to make people aware of your precious brand?
It's desperate, it's unnecessary.
By the way, it's the second anniversary
of the Mythical Society,
and we are so excited about that.
Join any 3rd Degree Plan this month
for your chance to be randomly selected
for a virtual meet and greet with us,
that's me and Link, these two guys right here.
Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.
You know what the sad thing is, Link?
- What?
- People are starting to go along with all this crap,
and now, they're actually doing Mountain Dew's dirty work
for themselves on behalf of the Dew.
May I present to you Mountain Dew earrings?
Yes, I said it, Mountain Dew earrings.
- So this is from, we bought these on Etsy?
- [Rhett] $11.81 on Etsy.
If you hold these tiny cans close to your ear,
you can hear Guy Fieri burping.
(people laugh)
(Rhett burps)
- Ah.
- What about Mountain Dew scented candles?
Available for $10.95 on Etsy.
- Oh, so they took the actual can.
How much for this?
- $11.
- That's ridiculous,
and I bet Mountain Dew doesn't get a cut.
- Honestly, I'd rather see people litter.
- This actually hurts Mountain Dew.
- What about a Mountain Dew birdhouse?
$12 on Poshmark.
- (laughs) Okay,
so your bird is gonna smell like lime?
- Listen, I am generally against killing birds,
but I would kill a bird that made that home for themselves.
- You think the bird (laughs)
- The bird deserves death if it makes-
- Do you think the bird made this?
You think a bird-
- If it makes a home out of that.
- Oh. (laughs)
- If it makes that their home.
- I'd love to see a bird making this type of house.
- What about Mountain Dew Crocs?
We don't have those.
Link, I'm gonna need you to pull down the screen again.
- Oh, thank God.
So that means we did not buy the Crocs.
- Yeah, right.
- I'll gladly pull the screen down for this.
- But that's what they look like.
- [Link] Okay.
- [Rhett] What do you think about those?
Do you need those in your life?
- [Link] Yeah, that's just ignorant.
- And finally, Mountain Dew deodorant.
$15 on Etsy.
Link, I'd really appreciate it-
- Are you serious?
- If you would try that,
just to see if you need it in your life.
- It doesn't really smell like Mountain Dew.
- Well, that's 'cause you gotta get it under your arms.
You gotta really get it.
- Oh, stop, at least just go...
(alarm whirs)
Stop, it's in there, it's in there.
- Do you feel like you need that in your life?
- Hey, hey, you hear that?
That means stop deodorizing me.
- Link, the reason it doesn't smell like Mountain Dew
is because we just made this.
- Oh.
- That doesn't exist, we just wanted to show you the lengths
that Mountain Dew could go to
if they really wanted to.
And that, my friends is the sound
of the Whrap Up the Rhett Rhant Alarm.
So, in conclusion,
if, for any reason, I was not clear enough,
Mountain Dew is doing way too much.
They need to be stopped.
No soda company should be trying this hard
to infiltrate every aspect of our lives.
It's a dangerous game in general
when we let soft drinks define who we are.
- Honestly, I think you made some valid points.
I think it got really ridiculous,
especially with all the yanking and the returning of this,
and ultimately, I'm a Mello Yello man,
so I'm fine with all of it.
- I thought you might say that.
That's why I provided this Mello Yello birdhouse
for your birds.
- Oh, did a bird make this?
- Possibly, I will not kill any birds
that make their home outta that.
- Thank you.
- So, what do you think, Link?
- Thank you for this.
Well, Rhett, I'm glad you asked,
because, based on the Rhett's Rhant Rhanker,
I would say this rant ranks,
I mean, it definitely doesn't beat cats,
or that time you really got upset
about not knowing what a connecting flight was,
I would go right in here.
Good job.
- Sorta middle of the road, I guess.
Okay, I'll take it.
(whip cracks)
- Thanks for subscribing
and clicking that bell.
- You know what time it is.
- Hey, everyone.
I'm Amit.
It's my birthday.
I'm about to play Guess the Soda,
and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- That's what you should do on your birthday,
play Guess the Soda.
- Such a positive vibe from that guy, I love it.
- Click the top link to watch us
eat a neon Mountain Dew grilled cheese sandwich
from this cookbook in "Good Mythical More."
- And to find out
where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
- [Rhett] During February,
3rd Degree annual plan purchasers will receive their choice
of one of the past 2020 quarterly items while supplies last.
Details at mythicalsociety.com.