"You drink vodka for breakfast?"
"Know any gangsters?"
"You're stealing our jobs!"
"Bulgaria? What part of Russia is that?"
Ugh! It's...not!
"How much vodka can you drink?"
About two shots and I'm done. Exactly!
They come here, they offer me vodka, and, you know, I try
to blend in, so I'm like, "Yeah, OK, fine, yeah,
"I'll drink vodka with you."
A lot of times, people want you to perform how much you can drink.
Like, you're at a party, and they want to be like,
"Yeah, show me how much you can drink." Yeah!
"Do you drink it with your breakfast?"
No, no-one does that. It's not normal!
Well, some people do, but they've got problems. Exactly!
"Speak English."
I get regular death stares on public transport, to the
point where I try and limit my use
of Bulgarian as much as possible. Mm-hm.
My mum actually tells me... She tells me when I speak or call her,
"Sure you don't want to speak in English? Are you in a safe space?"
They say, "You're in our country, you should speak our language."
OK, are you going to explain to my aunt,
like, how to programme her DVD player?
Cos, like, how about it, mate?
I do understand how it could be irritating for English people.
When they're not understand, they think you're talking about them. Yeah.
If they want to understand, they can learn Bulgarian and then join in!
Exactly. Exactly. Please, be my guest.
"All those countries are the same."
They think you're coming from East Europe, so for them, it's Russia.
"Oh, are you from Russia?" And I said, "No, no, I'm from Macedonia."
I'm from Bulgaria. "Oh, where in Russia is that?"
Or, "Is that in Russia?"
"Yeah, but you speak Russian, right?"
No, I speak Macedonian!
Oh, yeah, here it is. "Coming over here, taking our jobs."
Oh, my God, I hate this.
So, first of all, how can I steal a job that's already vacant?
Someone goes to sleep and they wake up without a job.
It's weird that way.
We're doing the jobs that no-one wants to do.
Half of the NHS is run by our nurses
and... Oh, completely. ..and doctors.
Sometimes you have to be much better qualified
and work harder to get the same job...
Yeah, because there's still prejudice even with the employers.
No-one says, "OK, show me your passport.
"Oh, Romanian, shiny burgundy passport. Please come in!
"Please be a teacher. Please be the CEO of the company."
I would love to be taking your jobs. But, yeah... I'm trying!
But it's hard. Lord knows, I've been trying!
"You must eat a lot of cabbage." Here it is.
I've never had cabbage in my entire life. Yeah.
I eat so little cabbage. Really?
I wouldn't ask someone, like,
"Oh, you're English, right? Do you eat only baked beans?"
Do you know, they've got me here, cos I eat so much cabbage!
I love cabbage. My cat is named Cabbage.
Even our houses are made of cabbage.
Instead of wood, we use cabbage for fire. That's how we survive.
It's a stink. It stinks so bad.
But it's good for your body. It's really good.
"Could you do my bathroom?"
Oh, my God!
I have a PhD in medieval history, so, er, could you...
..suck it?
Anyone that comes over is, like, you're either going to be
a builder if you're a man or a cleaner if you're a woman.
They think we're just, like, these really tough men
who don't speak a lot,
they have, like, one small bag that they brought from Poland or
Lithuania or Macedonia, put their whole life in there and their soul.
A lot of people, they get shocked when, like,
you get an Eastern European in
and then, like, you get a legitimate quote, and they're like,
"Oh, I wanted this for slave labour prices."
"Do you know any gangsters?"
They think we're all, like, quite
tall, quite, like, scary-looking. Yeah!
They think you were, like, born in a prison or something and that you
grew up, you know, 20 people beating you up every night in solitary.
"You've got guns." Yeah, plenty.
Selling them, as well, online. Go on eBay.
Remember the whole thing around the Olympics,
where it's like Romanian pickpocket gangs?
An entire village has come from Romania to pick your pockets!
And it's like drip-drip-drip-drip-drip,
like the drop under the sink. "Well, they must be all criminals."
"When are you going home?"
When England wins the World Cup.
On the night Tube? Like, going to my flat?
I'm never going back home. I'm staying for ever.
You'll hear people say stuff like, "Oh, they'll just all go home."
And then I'm like, "Hi." And then you reveal.
Oh, you know, I'm an immigrant. You know, I have a job here.
"You're fine." And, yeah, exactly.
And she told me, "No, you're fine. It's the OTHER immigrants."
"Your country must be a shithole."
Yes, erm, it definitely is, and that
is the only reason why I'm here. No, I mean...
When people kind of picture Russia, I think they picture
Putin on a bear running through a forest with a handful of vodka!
People are walking just in underwear on the street
cos nobody can afford anything else.
They're stabbing each other for a piece of bread.
Oh, yes, back in old country, we sleep with donkey. He is comrade.
We live pretty much the same life, just...slightly to the east.
Get a plane, fly there. Two-and-a-half hours.
Open up to it and I'm sure
you'd take something that you love out of Eastern Europe.
We have, like, mountains and...
..old churches... ..cool art...
..Polish dancing... ..the wild beaches...
The bars are open 24 hours.
Man, we've got our own weird hip-hop now. It's fine. Like, it'll be OK!
Yeah, they're always saying, "Are you Polish?"
I'm just like, "Do I sound Polish?"
Yeah, you do. Oh, really? Oh, thanks.
Nothing to be ashamed of!