[music]
This week's Music Monday is Evil Girlfriend Edition
with Beast's Beautiful [B2ST!]
Simon! It's Beast! [B2ST!]
Anyways, it's Beast with "Beautiful" [B2ST with B2TIFUL]
Simon! [ahhh!]
[music]
My favorite part of the video is the very beginning,
It shows the true generosity of the human spirit.
See, there's this hobo walking around looking like Flava Flav
and he's asking for donations. And everybody's screaming,
and cheering and just dying to give him donations.
They're so generous, and they're so kind to him and I...it's just so beautiful.
Simon, Simon! [what?] I don't think that's a hobo.
Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake. That was politically incorrect.
He was a homeless person, not a hobo.
No! No no Simon I think he's like taking bets. He's like a bookie or something.
If he's taking bets then why isn't he writing anything down?
He's just stuffing money into his hobo hat.
Ummm...touche Simon. Touche.
It's a hobo!
There's something I've got to say about this video:
Did that girl just break up with her boyfriend because he broke his arm?
I'm sorry...what?!?!
Maybe they're going to explain this in part two of the video,
but right now that girl makes me so angry I have to go ghetto on her:
Oh no she di'int! Did that chick just drop that fine piece of B2ST hotness
cuz he damaged himself? I'm sorry? What? That guy was trying to make money to buy you some flowers,
and what? You just drop him like that? Girl, you better go back there and apologize
otherwise, I'ma cut you, you know why?
Cuz you don't know me! You don't know me!
Let me tell you something broken armed Beast Guy:
There are tons of girls that would be willing to date you even if you were in a full-body cast
Huh huh? Am I right? Am I right?
And they would take perfectly good care of you:
Ok thanks. The doctor said it will take three months
for me to recover from my horrendous breakdancing accident.
Oh! Don't worry! I'll be here everyday for you! Everyday!
Oh....really? [yes!] You don't have to be...
SHHHH! Don't say a word! I'll take care of you every single day. Yeah.
HEALING KISSES!!! MUWA MUWA MUWA!
Ohh! Security! Security! Nurr [SHHH DON'T SAY A WORD!]
[music]
Now this song doesn't really have a clearly recognizable dance to it
like Breath and Shock did, but there is one part that we really, really liked:
KICK IT SIMON!
OH YEAH CHECK THIS OUT!
OHH!! *CRIES*
Did you...did you just break your arm?
No...maybe...yeah. Can you take me to a hospital?
I'm sorry but, this marriage is over.
Sorry what?
I'm joking! If I did that I would be a horrible, horrible person!
Let's go! [AAHHHH!]
[music]
As for the English of the song we have no choice but to give this a
one out of five.
Now we're happy there's a lot of English in this song,
but a whole lot of it is really, really awkward.
Example #1: My beautiful my girl and I
I'm...sorry...what? Your beautiful your girl and you...what?
You don't have a verb in there so I don't know what the three of you do,
or is it the two of you. I don't even understand. The sentence doesn't make sense.
My beautiful...my girl...and I...............like meatball subs? Cuz I do!
Mashisoyo!
Example #2: So beautiful my girl IN THE CUBE!
What? That is totally freaking freaky:
What is this girl trapped in a cube? I don't know, but it sounds really scary.
I know you might think this is a good time to mention your record label,
but, as it stands right now, saying you have a beautiful girl in a cube
sounds less like a cutey song and more like the beginning of a horror movie.
Example #3: Make a love, baby!
Alright, B2ST went from a 2010 cutey kpop song to a 1990's raunchy R&B baby-making-music song
Ok...we don't want to alarm you, but you need to prepare yourselves,
because this is actually quite a sexual line.
It has only two possible meanings:
Meaning #1: "Make love, baby" is another way of saying "Let's do it"
in that cheesy Boyz 2 Men kind of way.
I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU! LIKE YOU WANT ME TO! AND I'LL...
Meaning #2: "Make A love, baby": isn't that another way of saying "let's have a lovechild?"
Hey girl! [oooooh!] Let's make a love baby!
Can we name it Spudgy?
Is that a boy's name or a girl's name?
It's a puppy!
Now, we know these indecent proposals probably weren't the songwriter's intentions,
but there's really no getting around it: this line is raunchy!
Now what really upsets me about this is when TVXQ released Mirotic,
they actually got in big trouble for the line "I've got you under my skin"
because it was interpreted as too sexual.
Meanwhile, that's not sexual at all, like, not even a little bit.
But here we have Beast singing Baby-making-music lines to their teenaged audience?
That's not cool. I think what really needs to happen
is the writers of these songs need to be responsible and ask an English speaker first
so that they don't make mistakes like this in the future.
Beast: the song is great, but some of the English: not so good.
[music]
Last week we asked you who would you take back into your heart:
Kara with "Jumping" or 2AM with "I Was Wrong"
Haha! Boy, were we foolish to pair these two against each other
because Kara was really, really, really destroyed,
I mean, every single Kara comment had like a page worth of 2AM comments.
So, apparently 2AM will be taken back into your heart.
For this week's showdown we ask you who has the most evil ex-girlfriend.
B2ST with "Beautiful" or MBLAQ with "Y"
Leave your votes in the comments and we'll announce the winners next week.
Oh...honey [what?!] It's EMBLACK not MBLAQ
This is so confusing!
Also thanks to everyone who voted for "Beautiful" this week:
If you have a video you want to see us review,
head over to eatyourkimchi.com/requests and tell us who we should review.
So beautiful my Spudge! Spudge Spudge Spudge! Spudge Spudge Spudge!
You are so beautiful, and there are no dance moves for you in this song.
SO BEAUTIFUL MY SPUDGE AND I.