- Heya playa.
Do you wanna know what the biggest challenge
is that most people run into when it comes
to texting your crush?
Well I asked you guys over on Instagram
to share your biggest challenges.
So I'm gonna go through them
and share my answers right after this.
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Let's head over to Instagram and see
what you guys had to say.
"Not knowing how to flirt and how
"to go from texting to talking in real life."
This could be a major challenge because sometimes
you get caught up in the texting world where
it's easy to text your crush.
You could say whatever you want.
But that transition to talking in person
is difficult because there's always that awkwardness
in person where you see them face-to-face
and you don't know what to talk about.
So how do you make that transition?
I think the best way is to start
a conversation through text.
Say hey listen.
I wanna tell you about this really cool movie that I saw.
What are you doing next week?
Let's meet up to talk about it.
Then once you've kind of set it up in texting
you can talk to them about the thing you mentioned
in the text in person.
Makes it easier because you're starting that conversation
in person with an actual conversation in mind.
"When her parents monitor her every second
"and think I'm not letting her focus on her school."
Yeah this can be a real problem because sometimes parents
see a person always on their phone and always talking
to someone and they think wow, they're not focusing
on schoolwork.
They're not getting their homework done.
They're not putting the things that are important first.
So what do you do in that situation?
I think it's important for you to talk to that girl
to let her know hey, let your parents know that between
this hour and this hour you're gonna be talking to friends
but then you're also gonna make time to do homework.
If that person can set a schedule
and let their parents know what it is
their parents will be a little bit more lenient
and understanding when they're taking time to talk to you.
"I haven't even got past asking for their number."
Yeah this could be a real problem sometimes because
if you're not even at the stage
where you have their number you can't text them.
So let's tackle this one by one.
When it comes to asking for the number the best way
to go about it is to set up plans or set up something
to do that getting their number's gonna help you get there.
So you might wanna say hey, this new movie came out
and I really wanna go check it out.
We should go watch it together.
Let me get your number so I can text you sometime
so we can set up plans to go watch it.
That way you now have the number.
You can now text them.
You can start that conversation.
You can get to texting with your crush just
by first getting over the first step which
is getting the number in the first place.
"The fear that she won't respond.
"I've been messaging my crush and she's
"leaving me on read."
This is a common issue that happens sometimes.
You message someone, they don't respond
you start to feel anxious.
So what to do you do?
Well I did a video on this all about ghosting earlier
in the week, so you may wanna check that out.
But if the person's not responding to your messages
the best thing to do is to try to talk to them in person.
Even if you can have a conversation that's just
a few minutes that's gonna make you stay out
in the back of their minds.
When you do text them later, they're gonna tell themselves
wow this person was fun to talk to in person.
Let me actually take the time to respond to them.
And if they don't respond watch the video I mentioned
to learn how to handle that.
"To reconnect with them after not talking
"to them for awhile."
This is something that happens a lot.
Things are going good in the beginning
but then they start to slow down
and then eventually neither one of you
are responding to the other person.
So what do you do?
How do you pick it back up?
Well the best way to go about doing that
is to talk about something that you talked about
in the past.
Let them know that they popped back into your mind
and something happened that made you think of them.
Bringing that up and starting a conversation from there
is gonna make them feel nostalgic for
the old conversations you had.
And then from there you can always follow up with:
So it's been awhile since we talked.
What've you been up to since then?
"Being open with your feelings 'cause you don't know
"how much energy you'll get back."
Yep, this is a scary thing to think about.
The idea of opening up to your crush.
And being honest about how you feel only
to get stonewalled by them.
For them to not respond, for them to tell you
that they only see you as a friend.
That's the worst possible thing, I know.
But I think a better approach:
Instead of telling your crush how you feel through text
is instead to work on building
a deeper connection with them.
Get to know them better.
Make jokes. Have fun.
Hang out in person.
The more time you spend with them the easier it'll
be for your feelings to be put on display
and their feelings as well.
So when it finally comes time for you
to tell them that you like them
it's not gonna come out of nowhere.
It's not gonna be a random text message.
It's only gonna be after you've built
so much more with them.
"I don't know how to keep a conversation going without
"it being awkward."
This is a challenge a lot of people run into.
They talk about one or two things
and then it flatlines from there.
Because they aren't going deeper into conversation topics.
What I want you to do is to check out my
20 Icebreaker Conversation Starter (mumbles).
I'm gonna link it up over here.
And those are 20 different conversation topics
you can bring into play.
As you talk to that person don't
just launch questions at them.
Go deeper into it. Learn more about them.
Learn about who they are as a person.
The more you're able to do that the less awkward
it's gonna be because you feel like they're just
being open with you and you can just be open with them.
"Interpreting their responses.
"Like what emotions there are behind some messages."
Yep, sometimes reading people's messages
and what they mean is difficult.
That's the problem with texting from time to time.
People may be sarcastic.
They may be trying to be funny.
They may be serious.
And you may not always be able
to read that through the message.
So I think a lot of times when you do run
into situations where you are confused by what they said
it's better off to continue the conversation
how you think they may be talking.
And then to redirect based on that.
So for example, if they're being sarcastic
and you think they're being sarcastic
you're not really sure try to respond back
with something sarcastic and see how
the conversation flows from there.
You'll never really know unless you directly ask them.
But sometimes asking them can be weird.
So I think try to just go along with it like it's normal.
Like you know what's going on.
And then redirect based on that.
Now if you aren't following me on Instagram
make sure to go do that.
Because I post questions like this from time to time.
And I wanna start sharing your guys' answers
and getting your feedback and putting
into video form like this.
So what I want you to do next is to check out
the video over there on the side to learn a little bit more
on how to deal with those awkward situations
in texting your crush.
Think that video's gonna be super helpful for you.
And the playlist underneath it has all my videos on texting.
If you wanna be a texting pro watch those videos.
On that note guys, I'll catch you next time.
As always love and peace.
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