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7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen R. Covey – summary
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is one of the best-selling
self-improvement books. It deals with answering the question: What habits do highly effective
people have? But what is it that makes it the most well-known success book out there on the
subject of effectiveness? The big difference that this book made is that the author introduced a
new perspective on success. He researched the 200 year long literature of successful people
and concluded that before the 1920s, success was based on something called “character ethic”. At
that time, the qualities that were highly valued are integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance,
courage, justice, patience, simplicity, and modesty. The golden rule was followed – treat
others as you want to be treated. Then, starting around the 1920s, the topic of
success was being approached from the philosophy of “personality ethic”, which is essentially the
way that other people see you. It refers to things like other people’s opinions of you,
how you perform in public, and your appearance. Success was a function of appearance,
and the focus at that time was how to get you to look like a successful person,
rather than how to actually become one. But, that is shallow philosophy and a quick
but somewhat meaningless success. Covey argues that to achieve real effectiveness and success,
you need to build character. He doesn’t dismiss personality ethics completely.
There is a time and place for it because there are occasions when it is important how you look,
but he thinks that character ethics should be the foundation for everything else.
To be more clear, try imagining a tree. Personality ethic is what is above the ground,
what people can see – trunk, treetop, leaves, and maybe fruits. But what supports all of that
and makes the foundation for what is visible are the roots, and that would be the character
ethics. Problems come when people want to jump right to the fruits without developing the roots
because that is not sustainable for a long time and can be seen as fake. You simply can’t fake
good roots. The 7 habits of highly effective people discussed in this book lead to developing
good character ethics that can help you achieve real success. Let’s see what those habits are!
No1: Be Proactive The author argues
that to be successful and effective, one must be proactive! This is one of the key characteristics
of human beings – we are in charge of our lives and responsible for what we do and consequently
we can change our behavior to meet our goals. The main terms here can be imagined as two circles.
The first is the Circle of concern. In the circle of concern are those things we usually fret about
but that we can’t change: weather, politics, other people’s opinion, the success of others,
the economy, other people's mistakes). The second circle is the Circle of influence.
As the name states, in this circle are those things we can directly control and change:
our attitude, what we learn, how we spend our free time, our habits and hobbies. Most people are
reactive – they focus on the circle of concern. Reactive people are those who always complain,
blame others and make excuses for themselves. These people are usually not effective and
successful. Being proactive means focusing on the second circle, on the things under our control.
Proactive people don’t blame the world for their troubles, they get creative in thinking about how
they can overpass them. Imagine two people in a job interview where both don’t get the job.
A reactive person would get mad and blame the interviewer saying that he was intentionally mean.
But, a proactive person would take responsibility for his failure and try to prepare better next
time. Through analogy with two concentric circles, the author discusses that when we encounter an
obstacle, we should concentrate on what we can do about it (what is within the Circle of our
Influence), and not only on what we are concerned about (what is in the Circle of Concern). By
focusing on what you can do, you acknowledge that you are “response-able”, as the author puts it,
for your behavior and subsequently, for your own success and growth. By becoming more proactive,
more things fall within your circle of influence, you gain more power over your life, and that is
essential for effectiveness and success! No2: Begin with the End in Mind
It is said that everything is created twice – first in the mind, then in reality. This
habit refers to the first creation – one of the mind. If you want to achieve something,
you have to have a clear idea of it. It needs to be determined and planned in your head.
If you don’t know where you are going, how can you ever hope to get there? The author suggests that,
in order to be effective, one should always start their journey to success with the destination
in mind. A lot of people live without a clear vision and plan for their own lives. It is like
wandering around aimlessly. This is hardly a good way to live your life if you want to do something
meaningful with it. There is one particular, and probably most quoted of all of Covey’s statements:
“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong
place faster.” This habit is all about finding the right wall to put your ladder up against.
If you want to be effective, you need to find your true passion, something that you deeply value and
that will give your life meaning. You need what Covey calls the personal mission statement.
That statement defines who you are as a person and it identifies your purpose in life. It also
explains how you aim to pursue that purpose, and why it matters so much to you. It can be
something quite simple but meaningful to you, like “I want positively impact the life of every person
I meet.” Or “I want to bring a change to the world through teaching”. This is all about getting to
truly know yourself and what you want to be. It is very important because if you don’t manage that,
you will always let other people and circumstances shape and define you. The author suggests that you
should try adopting this habit by imagining how your priorities would change now if you find out
that you have only 30 days to live. How would you want to be remembered? Try that and start living
by those priorities; they show who you want to be! No3: Put First Things First
The habit of putting first things first is about the second creation – the one in
the reality. This is where you put your plans created by adopting habit number 2 into action
and you make your dreams come true. This is the time to ask yourself one crucial question:
What is important to you? People tend to waste time on meaningless and useless things.
But, if you want to be effective, you need to know how to set priorities in your daily activities,
not by what is most urgent but by what is most important to you. This means acting on your
priorities set by adopting the second habit. In discussing this habit, the author talks about the
time management matrix, which includes dividing all activities into four groups by the criteria
of urgency and importance: crisis and emergences we manage (that are both urgent and important),
strategies and values we should focus on (that are important but not urgent), interruptions
we should avoid (that are urgent but not important) and the time-wasters we should limit
(that are neither urgent nor important). Let’s see how a well-organized person (let’s call her Mary)
who has her priorities sorted acts. Mary gets up early, exercises, has a healthy breakfast and then
goes to work. She first works on important but not urgent things. She then manages urgencies if there
are any and delegates interruptions all the while refusing to waste time. At the end of the workday
she plans the next day and she has the rest of her day to do meaningful things and plan how
to fulfill her personal mission statement. This looks a lot better than our typical unorganized,
go-with-the-flow behavior, right? You need to recognize what is important. If you only deal with
what is urgent you will end up solving one crisis after another until it consumes you. It is very
important to set our priorities straight. In order to stay on track toward our goals, we need to have
the willpower to do what has to be done even when we don't want to do it. We need to act according
to our values rather than our desires or impulses at any given moment. If you want to be effective,
try creating your own time management matrix and stop neglecting important things!
The first three habits are aimed to move you from dependence to independence. They make you take
control over yourself, build character, and inner strength that is essential for effectiveness.
Just like habits 1-3 are aimed to take you from dependence to independence,
if you adopt habits 4-6 will move you from independence to interdependence.
Interdependence is the highest level of maturity according to Covey. It is about how you deal
with other people. Independence is thinking as “I” and interdependence is thinking as a team;
it is the attitude of “we”. No4: Think Win-Win
In this part, Covey explains how there are 6 types of relationships,
both personal and business, that are defined by who in this relationship wins and who loses. The
first type is “win-lose” or “lose-win”. This is the most common type where, for one to win,
the other must lose. This thinking is associated with a scarcity mindset because people think that
there are not enough goods for everyone in this world, so if I want to have some of it,
you must not get it. The other type is “lose-lose” and this is obviously going nowhere because it is
not good for anyone. The next type is “win”. You take it all and don’t care about the others and it
is the typical selfish behavior of someone getting the promotion at work and not caring about what
happens to coworkers. There is the “no deal” type, which is neutral. You couldn’t make a deal that
benefits you both so you don’t make a deal at all. At last, we come to the best type of relationship,
the “win-win” type. It is a relationship where there is mutual benefit. It comes out of the
abundance mindset. There are plenty of goods for everyone and we should share them. When you think
win-win, you actively try to work well with others on achieving the best possible result while at the
same time you are maintaining or even improving relationship quality. To start thinking like this,
you need to change your perspective on life as competitive and start viewing it as cooperative.
If you want to adopt a win-win way of thinking, you must be both brave and considerate; brave,
to be honest with the other person and considerate, to care about their wellbeing too.
No5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Adopting this habit is important for effective communication with other people. If we want to
have sensible relationships with other people, we must deeply understand their perspective. We must
learn how to listen empathically. The author makes the difference between autobiographical
and empathic listening. People usually listen to others autobiographically – out of their
own points of view. It means that we evaluate and interpret other’s words out of our own experience
and values. It doesn’t lead to understanding. Empathic listening means that you are listening
not with the intent of replying and making your point clear, but with the intent to understand.
If you want to learn how to listen empathically, try listening in quiet,
without replying at first. When you have heard the other person, try reflecting on what they said to
show that you hear their emotions. You can show understanding also by rephrasing what they said,
without interpretation. For example, when your friend comes to you and says:
“I think my boyfriend doesn’t care for me anymore”, instead of advising as you usually do,
try reflecting her feelings and rephrasing her words by saying something like “You are afraid
that your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore and that makes you anxious and sad”. That shows
that you listen to understand. It is important to learn how to restrain from talking when you
should be listening and give the other person room to clarify and think without your probing. After
understanding, you would want to be understood and this is the part of the conversation when somebody
asks for advice. That is the time to be logical and practical. Adopting this way of listening
and talking will have a great and positive impact on the quality of your relationships!
No6: Synergize The basic idea behind
this habit is that different people bring different ideas, perspectives,
and values to a team and that we should celebrate those differences. Synergy is the type of creative
collaboration that happens in a group interaction when all the members work perfectly together.
The author describes it as a “peak experience” of group interaction. It is not what happens
when you simply seek help to do something that you can’t do alone. It is that moment when all
people in the group think and work as one; it is the ultimate experience of teamwork.
When there is synergy, each individual gains new insights through the interaction with others.
The group is more than the mere sum of its parts. Think of it as a musical band. Every
player or singer brings something different to the table but the band is more than a simple
sum of the individual members. It has additional qualities that come from the interaction of all
members because different people bring different opinions, ideas, perspectives, and strengths
into the group dynamics. Synergy happens as a result of adopting the previous five habits.
When synergy is operating at its fullest, it incorporates the desire to reach win/win
agreements with empathic communication. The key to synergy is celebrating our differences.
Instead of tolerating or simply accepting different opinions and points of view of others,
we should celebrate them, because from differences comes personal growth and development. Synergy is
being effective in teamwork and when you manage to operate on this level, you can become more
effective than most people dream of becoming. No7: Sharpen the Saw
Covey uses the metaphor of cutting a tree with a dull saw to explain the importance of the
last habit. It takes much more time to cut the tree with a dull saw than sharpening it and then
cutting it put together. The last habit refers to the renewal of our four saws. It is actually
the renewal of ourselves in 4 areas: physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially. Continuous
practice of this habit allows us to increase our ability to practice each of the previous habits.
Firstly, we must renew ourselves physically. It means that we should take time to take care of our
bodies to enhance our capacity to work and enjoy. Taking care of our bodies means that we should
try to eat well, exercise to build strength and endurance, and get sufficient rest and relaxation.
Either we take time to take care of our health now when we still have it or, 30 years from now,
we will have to take time to take care of our numerous illnesses. On a spiritual dimension,
we should try to improve the ability of our spiritual self by meditating, contemplating, and
praying. You could also enjoy good literature and music, or immerse yourself in nature’s wonders.
Renewing ourselves mentally means taking care of our mental health. Try doing that by keeping a
journal of your thoughts, experiences, and insights, for start. The social dimension
is about improving our abilities to develop meaningful and effective relationships.
We can try to do that by actively seeking to understand others while keeping the “abundance
mentality”, as described earlier. Renewal is what makes personal growth happen and what is
essential for practicing all the other habits. Without that, there can be no effectiveness!
These were the 7 habits of highly effective people in the eye of Stephen R. Covey as written in one
of the all-time best selling self-development books. If you truly want to be your most effective
self, don’t just read about these habits, try to live them and incorporate them in your everyday
life and see real personal growth happening! As you learn and adopt these new habits, you will
hit obstacles, and you will fall back sometimes but that is the part of learning and change.
Old habits will pull you down, but don't give up; you will be rewarded!
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