hi everyone I hope you're all well so it is a truth self-evident that workism causes nothing
but problems whether it's generating baseless resentment and division by telling people
that they are inherently oppressed thanks to characteristics they cannot change like race or
their sexuality to severely lowering the quality of film and television to scuppering the revenue
of companies thanks to them going woke thus going broke figuratively not literally of course it is a
tale as old as time that in the words of donald trump everything work turns to considering this
it is obvious that people who have been negatively affected by work ideology
whether they are themselves work or they are not work but are the collateral damage of wokeness
would seek advice on how to rectify the situation this may come in the form of a trusted friend or
family member or a therapist or even an online advice column see i have recently happened upon
the dear prudence advice column in the far left exceedingly work online magazine slate and while
the entries are not exclusively related to wokeness there are certainly more than a
few that comprehensively demonstrate the harms of work ideology mostly towards relationships
interestingly enough there were two in particular that really caught my eye the first is entitled
help my girlfriend wants to break up with me for being a mansplainer and the second is entitled not
another white wedding i'm sure you all can get a pretty solid idea of what each of them might be
about based on the titles alone and i can assure you the reality is even more hilariously galling
so on to the alleged mansplainer now for anybody who doesn't know mansplaining is a fake word made
up by third wave feminists to describe the alleged phenomenon of men explaining things
to women in a condescending way that assumes that the woman in question has no knowledge of
the object of the explanation even though she does so now we're all on the same page let's get into
this accidental rudeness i am a 28 year old guy who was dating a woman melissa who is about six
years older than i am we've been together for about 10 months a few weeks after meeting and
going on several dates when it looked like things might stick i guess melissa had a talk with me she
said that she wasn't sure i realized it but that i often interrupted her she said that i
hadn't seemed to notice when she gently redirected the conversation back to what she'd been saying
and had never apologized it was apparently almost enough for her to not go out with me again
but she thought i was otherwise nice and cute and got the feeling i wasn't doing it on purpose
so she thought she'd see if a talk would help i've been trying harder and i think it's been going
well when i do interrupt melissa will now fairly bluntly point it out and i know then to apologize
and be more conscious of my speaking okay so we can already gather from this interaction
that melissa is one a feminist and two clearly on a power trip not necessarily because of the
fact she's dating a guy about six years younger than her that is absolutely perfectly fine you
know where there's love there's love whatever that's not even that big of an age difference
in the scheme of things but it is the combination of that plus the fact that she is kind of trying
to school him already about the way that he speaks and then tone policing him um in order
to kind of mold him into a package that she finds sort of acceptable and while of course you know
interrupting people is is impolite um it's clear this gentleman in question didn't realize that he
was doing it and look perhaps what she was talking about was actually really boring and long-winded
hence the fact he interrupted unconsciously so there are a number of factors at play here
the point of the matter is you can usually tell that about a person in like the first couple of
dates so my question is if melissa has such an issue with him interrupting to the point where
it made her not want to go out with him again and why did she go out with him again why would you do
that probably because as of and this is i'm just speculating here but from what i can gather as a
feminist she saw him as kind of a diy project you know a younger man to kind of subjugate with her
feminist ideology be sort of the alpha female where the pants in the relationship etc etc etc
anyway so yeah already uh a lot of red flags in this paragraph two continue recently we
had another conversation melissa opened up about feeling that i sometimes come across
as arrogant when i speak and that i've mansplained things to her several times and been frequently a
bit oblivious that i am going on about a topic of interest to me and not picking up on how long i've
been speaking and that others aren't especially interested in hearing quite so much about say the
computer games i play or the minutiae of my job or world war ii weaponry right this is the point
where you'd hope this guy had some experience of the culture war because and evidently he doesn't
because anyone who sort of knew kind of culture war jargon any other guy would have just run for
the hills at that moment the minute that she said mansplaining um this is a real worry for this guy
and and the interesting thing about it is that she is criticizing him for coming across as arrogant
when he speaks well i'm sorry that is you know open to interpretation that's how she has uh
how she is a feminist has interpreted which means he probably was just talking normally um and
she's like well he's a man and he's talking he's there for his arrogant but she's criticized him
for going on and on about topics that allegedly he only he's the only one that finds interesting when
literally she was doing the same thing we can assume hence the fact he kept interrupting her
without you know unthinkingly i mean if someone is going on and on and on about something and
then that their partner routinely kind of unconsciously interrupts them then surely
that indicates that the person going on and on about something is going on and on about something
that the other partners aren't interested in so she's doing it it's okay for her to do it
and bad when he interrupts but when he does it then it's somehow wrong and as for you know not
being interested say in his computer games or or his job or world war ii weaponry you know his his
particular hobbies and interests the whole point of relationships if one partner is interested in
one thing and the other one isn't well that's when you sort of share and you see how whether you can
be interested in those things or find a point of interest in them because they're important
to your partner that is how a good relationship works this is a very one-sided power play here
and uh yeah i'm i'm hoping this guy is picking up on the copious red flags this wasn't exactly
surprising i know i'm a decently smart guy and a talker i'm also possibly a bit on the spectrum
so i do info dump and there's not a lot i can do about it i told her i would try to be more aware
of things and that we could talk when she felt something hadn't gone well recently we went to
see a friend of mine in a play this is a small theater that my friend started a few years ago
and is professional but local and on a low budget i mentioned as we sat down that the show with the
two person cast had been in rehearsal for about 13 months melissa was surprised and said that
when she was in college as a theater major a two-hour play was typically running in eight
weeks or so but surmise that covert had likely had a lot to do with how long it had taken i
can't remember exactly what i said in response but i guess i said well this isn't some college play
it's real theatre of course it's going to take longer melissa stood up and left the theater um
drama queen i was shocked and followed her out but she said she needed space the next time we talked
she said that she was offended and insulted by what i said and reminded me that she was
the one with actual experience in the topic we've been discussing it was the last straw for her and
she is reconsidering the relationship and says she's done being patient i'm wondering if what
i did was really so rude or if she's been a bit sensitive and how melissa and i can move forward
i do like her a lot okay now to be fair here melissa is actually wet correct when she said
that 13 months is a long time for a professional show to rehearse you know most professional shows
are actually up in six to eight weeks so she's actually correct there however that reaction to
her partner saying well look i'd say it probably takes a bit longer if it's a professional show
like getting up and storming out is just the most attention-seeking juvenile behavior i think i've
ever come across i mean she as for a grown adult she obviously wanted to make a scene like there
are there are so many indicators here that this is a kind of possessive power crazed third wave
feminist and look i don't know that maybe maybe this guy is completely unbearable but like we're
just going from from kind of the subtext here from what i know of women who use terms like
mansplaining and nad their nag their boyfriends to change relentlessly and see them as kind of diy
projects to sort of ideologically subjugate that seems to me what is going on here she would be
the first person to accuse a man of tone policing her and here she is tone policing her boyfriend
because it is okay to turn policemen but not to turn police women uh if you are a feminist it is
a very very interesting double standard here and i like the the thing is the fact that she's ready to
break off the relationship because occasionally her boyfriend seems to be you know a bit kind
of socially awkward and sees it as something to berate him about indicates two things one if this
is the biggest problem she has with this guy then she's probably you know got quite lucky um and two
probably she didn't actually like him that much anyway and like i said sort of saw him as a bit
of a feminist diy project there's and i also i hate to say this because it's probably a little
bit mean but the fact that she's six years older than him i'm not sure how sort of old they both
are but she's obviously out of college so i'd say he's probably in his 20s she's probably in her 30s
i don't want to say that she's maybe a kind of desperate feminist in her 30s who has you
know been like the career woman and then found nobody to settle down with and is now kind of
freaking out about it but that that possibly could be what's going on here so
what was dear prudence's answer when you have this much conflict this early in a relationship
it can be a sign that you're incompatible i think that's the case for you and melissa as far as the
theater incident it doesn't matter whether i say you were rude or she was insensitive it matters
that you were being yourself and it sounds like whether or not you're officially on the spectrum
you don't have plans to make changes to the way you interact with people and melissa didn't like
what she heard and this is a pattern 10 months is way too early to start asking each other to
change except feeling disrespected or make huge compromises you should go your separate ways okay
so while i definitely agree with prudence here that the two of them should go their separate ways
i don't i don't agree with her kind of overall take on the situation regarding the faction
she really does seem to be siding with melissa here in a rather passive aggressive way i tend
to think this response from a reader is the more appropriate answer dump her she needs to give you
specifics and she needs to do it in a constructive criticism way neither of which is happening here
she's being completely disrespectful and it's no longer constructive to continue this relationship
remember it's not rude to be assertive ultimately it sounds like this 10-month relationship has
gone on for 10 months too long this guy has given this girl melissa much more time and effort than
i think she deserves i think we can all agree that he needs to get out now and if she breaks up with
him before he does with her well that is i think likely her loss and she saved him the trouble
never date a feminist anyway on to not another white wedding i'm a person of color who grew up
in a racially and ethnically diverse community and currently work on racial justice initiatives the
baseline for the community i live love and work in is people who believe in the importance of racial
and ethnic diversity and also take meaningful action to support it okay hold it right here
literally everything in those two sentences alone is a giant red flag for all of the obvious reasons
we all know that racial justice initiatives and racial and ethnic diversity are left-wing buzz
words for critical race theory which is in itself inherently racist divisive and never
generates anything good the few times a year i am in liberal or white except for me spaces not
only make me uncomfortable but also feel like an affront to the work i've devoted my life to i lost
friendships when i realized i was the only person of color in a white friend's life in very diverse
cities too and i couldn't figure out how to talk to them about my racial discomfort what does she's
mean she's lost friendships because she's the only non-white friend of her white friends i mean
i mean how does she that is someone who views people so chronically through the lens of race
that it is obscene you know there is nothing else matters it seems to this person not personality
not interest not whether or not you're a good or bad person not morals nothing just skin color that
is the most appallingly racist thing you'll ever come across maybe unlike her her white friends
aren't so racist that they literally keep a quota on the race and ethnicity of their friendship
groups also imagine if the races were reversed imagine if she was a white person saying that for
most of the years she was in all white spaces and that multi-racial spaces made her feel
uncomfortable my partner is white and his family is really white they live across the country and
keep inviting me to all white except for me vacations it makes me really uncomfortable i
hate shelling out vacation time and money to go to a family wedding where the diversity is me
yes i have been gestured to while my partner's mum talks about the importance of diversity
but more than that i'm tired of letting white people have this much impact over me i'm tired of
letting myself down by not speaking up i want to have a better way to approach my anger i want to
be able to directly explain to the people making me uncomfortable why these spaces and these people
make me feel uncomfortable okay so the words rank in gratitude come to mind when i consider this
person it it seems to me all we have by the way is is this to go on that the family of her partner
are trying really really hard to make her feel included in their family you know she said oh
they keep inviting me on all white vacations it's like well the vacations aren't intended to be all
white except for you that's just obviously how they are she has used no consideration one for the
fact that the family is really obviously trying to be very inclusive of her and two it's people don't
have a racial quota on their friendship groups and if they do if they do they really really shouldn't
the only reason that these white people are having so much of an impact on her it's because she's
racist and the thing is i've i've read this again and again and again to try and kind of find the
sub text here because she says that she's angry and she has a lot of anger and she wants to speak
up and when you're angry about something and you want to speak up that usually means that you've
there's been an affront to you or an affront to someone else but from what i have read of this
i can't see anything that there's no mention of any behavior from the family other than this
other than the fact that they're all white and what does she actually mean by her her you know
her boyfriend's parents are really white what what is really white this it is also completely
bound up in critical race theory if you really have such a problem with being surrounded by
a caucasian family then why did you start dating a caucasian with a caucasian family
like it didn't insane he needs to break up with her or she needs to break up with him because he
and the family are in for a terrible time if they're inviting her into it and it has nothing to
do with her skin color and everything to do with the fact that she is an unbearable racist critical
race theorist activist you don't want them hanging around often they're not very nice well there you
have it everyone two absolute gems from slate magazines uh dear prudence advice column pretty
extraordinary stuff let me know what you think of this in the comments and if you'd like me to make
more content from a slate's advice column because trust me that is just the tip of the iceberg
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