Welcome back. Even in the wake of pussy-ghazi, Trump
still haven't lost the woman vote. Here
she is
let me say this, as a woman, I know there
are plenty of women that are supporting
Donald Trump for one reason only: because
he's not Hillary Clinton. If there's any
moral obligation, it's to make sure that
Hillary Clinton does not get the white
house. In fact, if Hillary Clinton has
been honest at the time, maybe we would
not have had a nineteen-year-old in the
oval office in a blue dress and a cigar.
The key is yes, Donald
Trump may be vulgar, but Hillary Clinton
is a two-faced liar
Scottie, do you need a hug? Because I know
a couple of dudes who are giving them
out. But the saddest guy in the world is
God's not-quite-chosen president and
number one trihard, Ted Cruz, last seen
cold calling for Trump less than 24
hours before the Friday surprise.
Hi, this is Ted Cruz calling. I was calling to
encourage you to come out and vote on election day. This
election is critical for the direction of our
country and I urge you to come out. Thank you and God bless you.
If it's just a soulless
human does it count as a robocall? You
can tell what Ted is thinking:
(TED) Why am I persecuted?
Aw, I was solooking forward to seeing you in 2020. Bye.
Meanwhile, a whole lot of Republicans
were grappling with the discovery that
their Muslim-banning, Mexican-insulting,
race-baiting, disability-mocking, alt-right
channeling demagogue might not be such a
good guy after all
Mike Pence just issuing a statement
saying quote, as a husband and father, I
was offended by the words and actions
described by Donald Trump.
Mitch McConnell: As the father of three daughters I
strongly believe that Trump needs to apologize.
I'm a father, I'm a son of a
very strong woman, a grandson of a strong
woman, husband of a strong woman, and I
didn't like hearing that.
I'm a father of two girls, a brother of three sisters
I'm the father of the 21 year old daughter
and I have a wonderful wife and two--
three wonderful sisters and I'm like
everybody else i'm appalled by the
statements
Oh, go fuck yourself. Trump's comments are not wrong
because you have female relatives! Guess
what, a surprising number of Americans have at least one female relative!
Trump's comments were wrong because
because women are human. And if you
hadn't stood cravenly by while he
insulted them for a year, you wouldn't be
in the pile of elephant shit you're in
today. You should have listened to
Barbara Bush back in February
I mean, he's said terrible things about women
I'm a woman. I don't know how women can
vote for someone who said what he said
about Megyn Kelly. It's terrible. And we knew what he meant, too.
And there's another thing I'll
never forgive Donald Trump for, making me
watch First Lady Barbara Bush talk about
periods
thanks so much. But what about Paul Ryan?
the supposed intellect and conscience of
the Republican Party.
Paul Ryan putting up this statement, he says, quote, I am
sickened by what I heard today. Women are
to be championed and revered
Oh, and patronized don't forget patronized!
Hey everybody! How
about it huh
It is a troubling situation, I'm serious,
it is. I put out a statement about this
last night. I meant what I said. And it's
still how I feel. But that is not what
we're here to talk about today. You know
what we do here at fall fest? We talk about our ideas.
Your fall fest sounds
boring as shit. If you want to talk ideas,
how about the idea that your petri dish
of a political party allowed America's
misogyny and racism to coagulate into a
presidential nominee? Discuss! Or the idea
that you're the last person we wispy
little spider webs of womanhood want to
champion us? In the past year you've
condemned Trump's disgusting stance on
Muslims, the KKK, gold star families,
Latino judges, and now women, without ever
withdrawing your support for his
presidency. You don't have the courage of
a single one of your convictions. But you
were smart to disinvite Trump from your
Fall Fest. He wouldn't have been able to
resist grabbing a pussy like you.
You wanna see a champion? Allow me to present Republican
strategist Ana Navarro.
There is a minimum requirement of morality, of moral compass,
of decency, of human empathy, of behaving
like an adult, of behaving not like a
sexual predator. I think that every
single Republican is going to have to
answer the question, what did you do the
day you saw the tape about this man
boasting about grabbing a woman's pussy?
(SCOTTIE) Alright will you please stop saying that
word? My daughter is listening.
(NAVARRO) You know what Scottie, don't tell me--
you're not offended when Donald Trump says it. I'm not running for president, he is. Don't act outraged and offended when I say the word when
you're not offended by the man who you
are supporting. That is just absurd.
I've been about him saying that too
(LEMON) we'll be right back. By the way, Ana has
been up for a long time, Ana had to go.
Sister, you can come take a nap
on our bean bag chairs anytime. We're
almost looking forward to you and Susana
Martinez defeating Hillary in 2020. At
least you'll be an adversary worthy of
her.
we'll be right back