(Serious Mac)
Hi ya'll
MacDoesIt here. So I currently just woke up-
at 2:58 p.m.
In my...
$600,000 Condo
that I did not buy.
I' m just actually am renting from a millionaire,
but that doesn't matter right now.
It has come to my attention that there has been certain allegations
Made towards me, revealed on Twitter which has brought forward,
multiple and
constant allegations about me. That I now want to address in video format in the best and
as mature way as I possibly can. Basically this is an apology video. I am
very very very
-sorry and very very very upset at myself
(forgets script)
for getting caught. But at the same time sorry that other people
* silence*
Existed when I...
didn't want them to idk.
I am going to actually go down the line of allegations that are all 100%
"completely" true
and apologize to each person individually of the wrongdoings that I-
allegedly did "allegedly" at an "alleged" time in my
allegory old life.
(If you're still worried, don't worry this is just a parody video.)
Yeah
My life is very hard. I'm constantly bombarded with
insane amounts of fame. Sometimes I just don't act-
like a human. I'm very sorry for that.
I'm very sorry that you made me famous.
and turned me into the monster that I am today.
So is it really my fault or is it all of our faults?
Lady gaga: ooooooooooOOOOOOOO
Cuz it is
I am so sorry to "layout in progress" for calling you a dirty
fag*ot and slapping you with a bucket.
I have now come to realize that-
that was wrong
and instead I should've slapped you with this dick.
Very sorry to "Stan"
for hitting you in the head with my
Shorty Award,
and now leaving you concussed.
It is not my fault that I am-
so successful.
That the trophies I have received, are very heavy.
and that when I do hit them over the-
head of people they concuss them.
I did not expect that to happen, but it happened I am-
apologizing.
for
my success.
*bad romance by Lady Gaga*
Thank you.
My humblest apologies-
to Gryffindor Bobby
for threatening you with a dirty shamwow.
To Diony Salt for shitting in your
cereal,
while you were eating it.
Famous people don't use regular bathrooms as we've learned recently through...
me apparently.
Super sorry to Qmine112
For looking at you and telling you, "You should go die in the deep depths of your asshole,
and pushing you over with my big ass nose."
In my defense, my nose has a mind of its own.
Super sorry to Ollie for breaking into your house and farting on your cat.
To Cecil for coming into your subway and demanding a party platter
without giving a 24 hour notice.
Famous people don't give notices we just show up.
Void for making you brush your teeth then drink orange juice.
To Haley for using you as a human battering ram to-
get into a Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday.
Toxic Blood for eating your cake and insulting your Cabbage Patch Kid.
Two things I did on two separate occasions, that require two separate tweets.
*thinking over what he just said*
*mentally agreeing with himself*
Lady Gaga: oooOOo
People still make Cabbage Patch Kids? I mean-
I'm so sorry *fake crying*
Sorry to Liz for throwing my ShamWow at your head and calling you dumb.
after you asked me for an autograph and you haven't slept in years because of it.
*fake crying* haHHAAHUINH
Terribly sorry to Jay for sprinkling "dick confetti" in your yard and calling you a "straight".
I am aware that that was very traumatic and you will be contacting your lawyer.
In my defense, dick confetti ain't cheap
so like, bitch pay up
Sorry "Thy Strange One" for calling you a dusty box then sending you a pic of butter.
what- I mean *cRyiNg*
"Cell Quit" for snatching your edges and calling you and you quote,
"Ugly Clown" then throwing clown boots at you and graffitied a penis on your house.
In my defense-
I was hungry for some dick, you know?
Sorry DtotheTf for f*cking you with a toothbrush. *tana mongoose*
In my defense it was Colgate.
Poki for being oily. Which I didn't know was offensive
But now I do and I will try my best not to...
Sweat? I don't know
Chuck for stealing your juul pod at lunch.
Bitch Lasagna for stealing all of your Orbeez.
Cactiii for kidnapping you from your local McDonald's dumpsters, and forcing you to-
buy a chick-fil-a franchise and murdering your dog. All within a span of 2.5 minutes.
In my defense...
Meth really does some wonders, y'know.
Joubrel Arthur for coming to France just to choke you with a baguette and forcing you to buy me croissants.
*smiles*
Thank you...
Sorry to Mira for breaking into your house, stealing your fridge and throwing up on your bed.
Did I go up on your bed after I stole your fridge?
Or did I steal your fridge after throwing up on your bed?
Was I so horrified in throwing up on your bed that I stole your fridge?
Or after stealing your fridge, I was horrified by the contents of what was inside of it that I threw up on your bed?
Was your fridge in your bed?
Maybe that was like one fellow swoop. I don't know- I mean I do know because I did it. Oh my god
*creepy fake crying*
Very sorry to Mai for stubbing your toe with my big ass nose.
To Jamie Bartman for flying into your closet and booping you with my
anti dick stick and turning you into a filthy butch
*confused crying*
Am I allowed to say that?
To Isabel Walsh for tweeting a response to one of my tweets and then me DMing you telling you to "Stick your lesbian
opinion where the SuUUn don't shiiIne?"
Why am I so lesbian-ophobic?
To Max Linder for jumping through your bedroom window and stealing your ceiling fan, and when you told me to stop,
I called you gay.
To Lindsayy for calling your uncle's diseased cat ugly and slapping you in the face with an egg smelling ShamWow.
To IdkYet for locking you out of your house and throwing a ShamWow at you.
I have a lot of ShamWow's apparently.
To DyslexicQuen for forcing you to step on Legos and thumbtacks.
Rolling In Pain for beating your friend with a ShamWow then marrying their dad then calling you gay.
Sorry Maya for f*cking you with a toothbrush. Once again, Colgate.
Sorry to Ace for calling you ugly and T posing at you for an hour before taking your dog.
To Sad Gay Thottie for f*cking your dad and stealing your stakeboard.
To Breanna for breaking into your house calling you a bozo and stealing all the gluten from your bread.
Sorry to "pinkystr" for calling you ugly because you listen to BTS.
Sorry to Anna for breaking into your house dressed as a clown and stealing your house plants.
Sorry to Erin for eating Colleen's placenta.
*confused silence*
Yeah, yeah I did that.
Sorry to Kath for hitting your ankles with a scooter and telling you to stan TWICE.
Sorry to Gab loves Sav for calling you a fatty and pushing you at pride.
To the Scheme of Life for pushing you off a Ferris Wheel and calling you a dirty queer.
To Reese for putting a curse on your crops and blaming it on Iggy Azalea for no reason.
To Noah for saying you're a stinky dirty ginger bitch and tied you to a back of a truck with a license plate that said
f4g0tt
*mac trying to stay in character*
I mean oohhhnoooo *cue fake crying*
To Faith for setting your hair on fire with a cinnamon candle and hollering "IT'S LIT!"
To Giant Ball of Anxiety for forcing you to think of my content.
To Jassy for buying you chicken nuggets but forgot the barbecue sauce.
To Jill for stabbing your dog and eating his dead body.
To Nightshade for making you eat a tube of toothpaste and then insulted your goldfish.
Colgate!
To Hail, for bullying you in high school and forcing you to become gay-
by pouring glue and rainbow stickers all over your head.
*confused laughter*
i mean-
*more fake crying*
To Rosa Lee Thomas for saying your nose was big and turning you into a hot dog.
I hope you're at least Oscar-Mayer worthy.
And last but not least, incredibly sorry-
to Heather for digging my keys into the side of your pretty little souped up four-wheeled drive.
♪ i cut my name ♪
♪ into his leather seats ♪
♪ With a Louisville slugger on both headlights ♪
*indiscernible gibberish*
I dunno the words.
I think we've all come to the conclusion, that I am a very terrible human being.
That I deserve none of your love and respect.
And I am officially cancelled on the internet.
For multiple reasons. Many including toothbrushes and ShamWows.
Lady Gaga: oOOh
But that's not even the half of it.
I hope we can grow from this together.
And I hope that we will blossom...
to a bigger...
life.
And I hope one day I can sell $500 a ticket for a tour.
*smile*
'Kay byee!
This is the part where the ending music plays. This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays.This is the part where the ending music plays. Bitch