You're about to see Colton are you still in love with him
are there still feelings there I was in love with him and deep down I thought it
was going to be us and there was no other option but right now no I I know
what love is and it has to be a two-way street and I feel like I deserve
somebody who loves me just as much as I love them obviously that's how it works
so no I'm not in love with him all right if you're ready let's bring him out
Colton
see it's coming back out I've had an emotional conversation and I'm just
gonna hand it over to you I know there's some questions I'm sure you want answers
to some oh hi hi this is crazy I mean I don't really know what other
words to put into this besides that I loved you and I thought you felt the
exact same way you told me that you were falling in love with me and that I
should trust you every single minute I was with you and you asked for my dad's
blessing and I thought it was I thought it was us and you didn't give me any
reasons to think otherwise um I think I have a million different questions in a
million different emotions but I think something that I can't stop thinking
about is why you gave everybody a chance until you put it anymore but why wasn't
that the case with me if you thought that there was I mean you literally said
you thought it was us the whole time yeah and I think that statements fair of
you having that question and for me I tried my hardest to stay as open as I
could I knew heading into that week it was
going to be the most challenging and the hardest for me to do that I think with
you it was a realization of how much I gave
myself to somebody else that I couldn't continue on knowing that I wasn't gonna
be all in because in that moment when I was having that conversation with Cassie
like I didn't want to lose her and I knew like I didn't want it my life
to go on without her in it so I couldn't do that to you too
you were a back-up plan or you were that's and it sounds bad but like you
don't deserve that and you know you don't deserve that here's what I I feel
like I have so many like what-if scenarios and that's not what life's
about but like you know I've been dealing with this everyday it's been
really hard do you think that if we would have had where you said it
yourself like if we would have had more time do you think that this possibly
would have been a different situation I just can't help but think like I thought
everything was there and I'm glad you followed your gut and all of that but I
I wouldn't have it was never an option in my mind to not want to be with you
ever I don't know do you think if like I didn't even know you've been on other
dates when you came I thought it was the first date and everything I no clue do
you think if you would have given that a chance do you think it would have been a
thing or do you think it it was not me clearly the whole time I think like
looking back I could have played the what-if game and a lot of situations and
I think even up until fantasies three week you know much like you were saying
earlier is like you've watched this show before and I've watched it and seen sort
of the format and I even got caught up in that too and playing by the rules or
the unwritten rules of The Bachelor and what it was supposed to be but this is
our lives you know after this and after this all goes away you go on about your
lives and your relationships and how I was feeling in another relationship at
that time was was stronger and that sounds brutal but I just you deserve
honesty I'm not gonna beat I don't want to beat around the bush or seem like I'm
being insensitive but that was just thick the case in the situation Alton
did you ever consider just having that final overnight date with Hannah
to be honest with you know after after that night and after running away and
after being done because you know you were there that night yeah oh I don't
know if we ever talked about that or if you thought you know what just let me
see let me just slow things down and just yeah have one more date the night
that I ran away in the night that I quit the bachelor and I didn't want to be the
bachelor anymore which looking back was a little selfish because I had to still
have conversations with you and tisha but I the emotions were running high and
my emotions were everywhere and I think in that moment the show was over you
know in that moment that was bigger than the show you know that was my
relationship that's my life and I'm gonna do anything I can to fight for
that I feel like I feel like I can relate in a sense to that feeling
because I don't know how to say this the right way but what Cassie did to you was
exactly what you did to me and I was left with nothing
I I thought that you were gonna chase me as crazy as that sounds like I would
tell one of the producers to like I was like tell me to brush my hair if he
comes like whatever the next week and you did it and I I just didn't have a
reason to believe otherwise and I just trusted you so much and I don't know I
just take that word like falling in love just I know that you have to follow your
heart and that's huge but for me it has been really really difficult and no I
can't imagine it being and I'll say I mean I obviously value everything that
we went through together and the one thing you know I could always say about
our relationship was like no matter what was going on in the house you know there
was just that certain like best certainty and that stability and then
leading up into the last week where things change for me in that
relationship with Cassie that I just couldn't continue to be in other
relationships
and I think it is what it is but I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel like a
slap in the face seeing you tell Cassie that you thought about her while you're
with other people that sucks yeah yeah is that something
you really felt or is that something you just said in the moment I think that was
that's something I felt and I think that's when I knew like I was all in
night I was a hundred percent hers and I couldn't do anything about it and I
found a word before we say goodbye I didn't want this to be like a whole
grilling thing or at all I just think I came into this one enclosure and I am
really happy for you and having all of these months of
struggling and going through a really big heartbreak that was really really
real for me um showed me how strong I am and how I can handle way more than I
ever ever imagined that I could and handling things by myself has taught me
what I deserve and what I want in life so I don't know I want somebody to I
don't know jump a fence for me you know like I need that kind of like
relationship
thanks for being out here you guys give it up her hand up
you