this is an important question do you
guys have a group chat without me
why would we do that
yes Rashida yes
we've brought you here today to take a
lie detector test no problem no problem
no matter what happens I don't believe
in lie detector tests okay that seems
convenient the way this is gonna work is
that one of you will be hooked up to the
lie detector while the other asked
questions and then you'll switch so who
wants to be in the hot seat first I'm
putting you in the hot seat I'm ready I
will tell you the truth no matter what I
never lie to my wife have you ever done
this before not for the camera my own oh
that's okay how's this look great great
kind of like BDSM ewwww yeah right on
alright so sub Dom sorry it's just that
what you're asking
it's okay we're gonna start off easy
okay just a test
alright the parameters you ready are you
ready Sam we're ready is your name Amy
Poehler yes are you one of the founding
members of The Upright Citizens Brigade
yes are you ready to take this
lie-detector test
I've never been more ready
alright let's get started would you say
that your parenting tactics or anything
like your characters in Mean Girls
oh no no Rasheeda one of the things you
know about me is I'd love to get in a
character dive deep as I love my craft
so um once I leave my characters you
know I don't bring them home with me
wait you opened a wine shop yeah in Park
Slope yes I own a wine shop in Park
Slope you don't know everything about me
or she is that true that is true what
yeah you didn't know that no I'm
actually upset right now so cool yeah
okay would you consider yourself a wine
snob no I'm not a wine snob I think I
know a little bit about wine but I think
I would be afraid to be around people
who really know how would I know enough
to not say that but don't we think that
wine snobs are just people who think
they know more than everybody else not
necessarily the people who do know yeah
where's everybody yeah then I am a wine
snob
have you ever conducted a wine tasting
at that bar yes what I mean I didn't
invite you but I was afraid you're going
to that's so fair that's fair
you get it wine taste I know yes I've
been around when I don't know if I've
conducted it ok can you improvise a fake
wine description right now oh yeah sure
this is a white ok what I like about
this is it's a very crisp and has almost
like an it's very Apple forward and it
is it's aggressively summer but it
there's some vanilla notes there's a
little bit of pineapple there's the
smell of desperation which is always
really great when you're drinking a
white late at night yeah the finish is
really smooth it's kind of like what we
like to call a jazzy finish jazzy finish
yeah does it have legs all of my stuff
has legs
that's questionable yeah would you ever
do a Parks and Rec reunion 100% yes I've
made say are you clear that's true ok I
want it too much you know what I mean
right I need to pump the brakes right
did this man this man right here did he
ever make you break on set oh yes break
break dance break down break a dish you
know what I love about Nick he looks
like he could be a member of my family
you guys are definitely ready yes we are
probably related do you text with any of
your former co-stars I do we have a
texture
we see each other we all see each other
a lot this is an important question
mm-hmm do you guys have a group chat
without me why would we do that
answer the question why would we have a
good challenge because I raised I know
for a fact that there's a post season
six group chat that I'm not on well this
is why I lie detectors don't work
because this is the answer
she's skirting the question folks you
want to know the truth here's the truth
there's about four Parks and Rec Tech's
chains there's parks fam right there's
like parks parks fam there's partisan
yeah got one yes and there's another one
and there was one that we don't use
because you're not on it and Chris
Traeger is not on it Rob Lowe is not on
it but I think it's started because we
were trying to surprise you oh and we
kept you off of it so to answer your
question yes there is a tech saying that
you're not on there is but I do also
think there are four other Tex chains it
that I'm mostly not all your else okay
mm-hmm
you Oh I said you were on SNL for
several reasons but it doesn't know for
several seasons
yes okay yeah okay is that true that's
true
okay um do you think that I would make a
good cast member 100% you can sing
you're funny you're a great actor you
have the temperament of that kind of
comedy emergency room 100% thank you so
much very what cuts the I think you
should audition for it now that's a good
idea I think it's really good you should
do an impression of an four person right
that's the only one I have
and also my character from Duncanville I
could do that impression yes you said
already that I'd be a good cast member
which I really appreciate
do you think that I would have been a
better Weekend Update host than that guy
this is it's real you know what I'm not
really prepared to answer that question
cuz I don't know right I feel like you'd
both do a great job I think you both do
a better job than I would
no no going with what it honestly what
does it say that's crazy of course you
guys would have done a better job than I
did you can be honest and I will accept
it and also you're I think that sexual
chemistry would have been better between
you and I okay but I do think Seth did
an okay job he's okay he's a solid C
yeah did you ever do anything backstage
with this woman that in any state or any
country could be considered illegal I've
never seen this woman before in my life
Sam that's not true wow so many lies
okay
aside from acting writing and directing
you also produce is it safe to say that
you conduct a lot of your business over
email that is safe to say yes have you
used the phrase circled back in the last
24 hours
a circle back is a great for you like it
love it why um I like it because it's
like I don't want to answer your
question forget it
have you ever passive-aggressively
written as stated in my last email I
read your last email or something of
that ilk I really try not to be
passive-aggressive these days just
straight up but I try to be straight up
aggressor yeah but I of course I have
I've probably written things like it
seems like you don't really have time to
answer this question like stuff like
that or like maybe I should take your
silence as an indication that you're not
interested in this that's great but
that's a pretty passive-aggressive what
about you have you done that oh
definitely I'm so passive-aggressive on
email I always like writing looking
forward I also write a lot of checking
in da checking in like the are you
yeah you know putting this at the top of
your oh yeah bum saying that wasn't
something bumping this to the top of
your business did you do that yeah but
bumping this to the top of your inbox in
case you haven't seen it
your elby's issues we should answer
emails more it seems like we have fun
doing okay
do you watch everything I'm in
no only because you are in a lot of
things and I don't think I've seen it
all and I don't want to lie and I feel
like there will probably be some kind of
surgery coming up at some point that
I'll be captured for and I'll catch up
yeah I'd rather be with you during
surgery anyway you know at any point in
this interview did you lie and we didn't
catch you the answer is did I you know
if you rewind back everything we've said
and you take the first word of
everything that I said it was a riddle
and it's gonna tell you where the
sentence body is buried great go back
the tapes open up the box and see what's
in there okay you're not gonna like it
I'm not gonna like it
I do like the look it feels very like
Balenciaga 2020 right it's very high
fashion
it's very Rick Owens is your name
rashida Jones yes already already loving
is your dad musical legend Quincy Jones
yes he is
are you nervous to take this
lie-detector test yep yep count as an
answer with our line you're telling the
truth you went to Harvard I did do you
think you're better than me because of
that
worse
did you write for the Harvard Lampoon I
did not is it because you thought the
guys that wrote for the Harvard Lampoon
or annoying a little bit yeah I'm sorry
Rashidah we were in Parks and Rec
together yes did the cast ever talk
about me behind my back no no it's true
she's telling the truth you know we're
tight we're my improvised dance parties
on set ever annoying yes still the joy
of my life do you think I'm a good
dancer I do oh my god but Rashida do you
ever have fantasies about like being a
professional dancer of a horse I mean I
would never but do you think you could
be one no at this point no like a
middle-aged upstart
no maybe had I like done some groundwork
early on maybe but probably not
would you go undo that you can dance no
no that seems hard yet you've played
characters that have been under both
this character Michael Scott and Leslie
no yeah who is the better boss Leslie
Knope
but I will say Steve Carell was also my
boss as a human being and he's a better
boss than Michael Scott so you're going
on record to say that you like Steve
Carell I do like Steve girl first person
I've heard say that I know it's it's
tough for him out there you were voted
most likely to succeed in high school
why I did not know that I was it's me
and Terrell Jackson who's Tito Jackson's
son and then in the picture we're like
have like a lot of cash like every night
I've bought a car and I'm immature they
don't they your and Julie got bit wad of
cash that cuz that's success right
that's amazing
do you hate being asked what it's like
to be a woman in comedy yes
is there an answer you wish you could
say that you've never been able to ask
me something else that's not stupid yeah
that's the answer you wish I could be
like that's stupid you don't mean that
that's what I wish I could say you don't
mean that you don't mean that that's a
good one yeah that would be a good one
to put in an email
you didn't mean that oh my god can you
just type it in really tiny letters so
it sounds like you're whispering again
they're like this oh my god if I called
you from jail would you bail me out
definitely even if you didn't know what
it was yeah thanks if you were stuck in
a remote desert island with either me or
Chris Pratt who would you choose think
about it
I mean he's got a lot of pros he can cut
wood he could build something he's got a
good attitude he does have a good
attitude and my attitude would be in
that he's sound strong I mean you and I
we wouldn't even we couldn't hold Nick
down in like a comedy stage acting way
for sheer like time value of time I
would say you because we have so much to
talk about we never don't have anything
to talk about
but if I was trying to survive probably
that guy yeah you know sorry I do love
you though
if Pratt died there being more to eat
that's true you wrote an episode of
Black Mirror yes and it explores the way
we rate people in social media
do you seek validation on social media I
try not to but yes sometimes I do have
you ever posted a thirst trap um like
not expressly like I think I've posted
things that were like out of my comfort
zone in terms of like trying to come off
sexy but like not to actually entrap
someone I did not know this you're in
rapper Jeremiah song past dad oh yeah he
calls you
that's great what is the story there no
I heard it when it first came out I was
like oh my god don't say cool you're
like guys talking about me I'm in that
song if you could pick a song that was
like like your anthem even for the year
um you know what song I love is that
collied song is from last year can't we
just talk give it is such a good song it
is so good and good okay and Rashida at
any point during this interview did you
lie I don't think so but I'm having a
weird sensation we're like I'm not sure
if I'm lying because I've hooked up to
something that's trying to determine
that's why I keep asking you if I'm
lying because I just don't know I don't
think so
did I be real this is your moment be
real did I lie you are telling the truth
okay spoken like a true sociopath