[Both]: Deux, trois!
[Nicole]: Ahhhh! No...
It...
[Laura]: La la la la la la
[Darren]: French alcohol.
[Kellie]: Yeah.
[Darren] So I'm expecting, like, garlic flavored beer and..
you know, cheese flavored wine, and all that
[Nicole]: Wine! They like their wine.
[Laura]: Oh, wine..
[Colin]: F***ing hate wine. Strong stance to take, I know!
[Laura]: J'adore le francais.
[Niall]: Irish people try FRENCH alcohol and he comes out with Kronenbourg!
[Colin]: Kronenbourg..
[Niall]: Oh, my God.
[Laura]: This is a huge bottle as well. Is this a pint bottle?
[Darren]: I'm trying to give you all of it.
[Colin]: I haven't even drank anything and I've already spilled some.
[Nicole]: We've got the tilt. [Laura]: Look at that pour!
[Colin]: I tried to tilt the glass! It didn't work.
[Kellie]: I think Facts. has made me actually like beer.
[Niall]: Alright, it's cheap French beer.
[Kellie]: I was like "Oh, I like beer!" and I drank it, then I was like "Maybe I don't..."
[Niall]: Don't get me wrong, I'm a poor student, I'll drink anything...
[Colin]: *laughs*
[Kellie]: It's, like, lighter than most beers, which is good, cause I hate heavy beers.
[Laura]: *whispers* I love beer...
[Nicole]: *laughs*
[Laura]: *burps* Excuse me!
[Colin]: What?! It looks like *actual* urine.
[Both]: *groans*
[Niall]: (in French accent) I'm feeling more French by the minute! Hon hon hon!
[Kellie]: Is it like Sambuca?
[Laura]: (with disgust) It smells like Sambuca..
[Niall]: This episode of Facts. is brought to you by sadness!
[Niall]: Is there a puke bucket?
[Both]: *various groans*
[Colin]: Sorry, Henri-Louis Pernod, but uh..
[Laura]: *continues groaning*
[Nicole]: Why is there, like, a creamy aftertaste?
[Niall]: That is disgusting! What is in that?!
[Kellie]: Oh, god.
[Darren]: Oh, like, it sticks around on your tongue.
[Laura]: It's so bad. The aftertaste is so bad..
[Nicole]: It's creamy!
[Kellie]: Yeaaah!
[Kellie]: This is what I was expecting!
[Colin]: Vino? More like "vi-NO"!
[Nicole]: Blood of our enemies.
[Laura]: Little bit of blood!
[Niall]: Some people say there's, like, a difference between wine, but it's.. but it's all nasty, let's be honest.
[Kellie]: I mean, it *is* fancy because it's the one they actually had to open.
[Colin]: A goo goo goo goo goo!
[Laura]: *coughs*
[Darren]: It's a cheap wine!
[Kellie]: That's rotten!
[Laura]: It's actually subtle.
[Nial]: People drink this?! Ugh..
[Colin]: Hate wine... I hate wine!
[Nicole]: It's not as vinegary as other wines
[Niall]: Champagne is fruity. It's light. It's delicious. This is ass! Oop..
[Kellie]: Oh, don't do it!
[Darren]: Gonna do it.
[Kellie]: *groans in disgust*
[Laura]: *burps again*
[Both]: *laughs*
[Colin]: My wife left me and.. took the kids
[Niall]: *laughs*
[Both]: *laughs, Niall's laughter turns to crying*
[Laura]: Hennesy's Irish, you divil!
[Colin]: "...produced and bottled in Cognac, France."
[Kellie]: Ohhh.. no..
[Nicole]: (slurring) It's made in France, but it's an Irish guy..
[Darren]: Cheers.
[Kellie]: *retches*
[Niall]: Cheers.
[Colin]: Cheers, man.
[Laura]: That's all Coke!
[Nicole]: I don't care!
[Colin]: Out of everything, I co- I could drink this. Or with mixer, I could be like, "Yeah, sure."
[Laura]: Delicious! Lads..
[Kelli]: Oh God!
[Darren]: It tastes like burnt rubber!
[Laura]: I really do, I'm sweating!
[Niall]: I could easily drink this if I wasn't dirt poor.
[Laura]: *burps a third time*
[Nicole]: I'm not getting any acetone
[Laura]: Ohh! I WAS R-
[Kellie]: I've only heard about it in the fables.
[Niall]: (crying) I wanna go hoooooome
[Laura]: Who brought this back from Tenerife, huh?!
[Colin]: This is real life! This is real life, you can't just..
[Niall]: *cries*
[Colin]: .. do that!
[Kellie]: It says "black" but it's definitely, like, a real weird purple.
[Laura]: Open that again! *cork pops*
[Both]: *euphoric sighs*
[Kellie]: Oh.. One, two, three
[Laura]: Flippin' bajeezus!
[Nicole]: They're like, "Get it out!"
[Both]: *intoxicated mumbling*
[Kellie]: It's fine. Just a little burp, it's fine.
[Laura]: *giggles*
[Kellie]: I feel like I'm actually dying from the inside out.
[Colin]: The devil himself is inside me!
[Both]: *shudders*
[Kellie]: The beer was the best, and everything else was shit.
No, the Pernod was actually grand.
[Laura]: Pernod, bad! Pernod!
[Niall]: Hennesy was nice!
[Colin]: The Hennesy *was* nice!
[Laura]: Beer. Favorite. Ugh!
[Kellie]: I thought we were drinkers, but fair.. pftfs.. to them.
[Colin]: The strongest stuff was the nicest.
[Kellie]: Who drinks this?!
[Laura]: Qu'est qui te dit?! Je ne tu.. je ne peut pas!
[Niall]: Sorry, France, you're not my cup of tea.
[Laura]: Lolsy, out. *laughs*
[Colin]: Ha! It's un-beer-able! OH HOOOOOO! WHOO!
Hot damn! Alright, I'll just.. f***in'.. leave.. good lord! Ugh!