urges to touch yourself don't mean what you think i'm dr trish leigh let me tell you what
i'm talking about in this porn brain reboot okay people have this situation happen to them all the
time before they leave porn behind or especially as they stop consuming porn and they are on a no
fap journey moving towards being a better version of themselves and leaving hyper sexuality behind
okay here's what happens is especially in the night or in the morning there's strong
sexual urges and the desire to masturbate or to touch oneself because of sexual arousal now i'm
here to tell you that those urges are in fact not sexual in nature they are based in mood regulation
and you know how it goes when you're caught in a cycle you can't see it you have to be able to
step back from it to be able to get some eyes on it so when you take a step back if you're able to
you're able to say okay i have those urges because my brain needs dopamine those urges
are a call to get some dopamine flowing in the system either because you're moving into something
that is difficult for you to do and there's not much dopamine in which i'll tell you in a
second especially in the morning or you're having feelings of anxiousness mood regulation the need
to take the edge off so if you wake up and you're feeling sexual and you're feeling aroused it's
because you've taught your brain to go towards sex when there's something uncomfortable on the brink
so here's how it goes if you wake up in the night or especially in the morning
it may be that your brain is looking for a dopamine hit before it ventures off into your day
because in your day there is this your partner your children your work your work colleagues
none of which give you a ton of dopamine so before you venture off into the world at large
where unfortunately you've also taught your brain there's no dopamine there all the dopamine
is in the screen so when you venture out to where there is no dopamine your brain's like
guess what we better load up on some dopamine because we are going into a long day that's not
dopamine producing that's what that sexual urge is telling you so now if you're on a porn brain
reboot journey and you've decided you're going to leave porn and masturbation behind but now
you have this urge i want you to know it's your brain calling to regulate your mood not for sex so
here's what you do you peel a layer back and you try to figure it out in the moment that might be
difficult but in the day the day before the day after or in your life and in your program that
hopefully you're working you're able to explore it and go okay you know what the reason that i have
these urges on monday mornings is because monday morning is the most arduous day for me at work
monday gotta get my kids back on the bus at 7.05 that's when my kids get on the bus way too early
your brains going you know what i gotta work for like five hours straight and i used to watch porn
at work and now i'm not and that's tough for me to do figure out what that looks like for you
schedule breaks in so that your brain gets a break figure out what isn't working for you but i also
want you to know that it's not working because of the conditioning that you've done to your brain
you've trained your brain just like a puppy you've trained it that anytime it feels uncomfortable
it gets a hit of dopamine to take that discomfort away so you will have to become comfortable with
being uncomfortable and that becomes really important in this journey going you know what
i got a long day and it's going to be difficult but i'm going to live i'm going to make it and you
know what i'm going to have to try to use my brain which is difficult to fire up right now because my
frontal lobe has been deactivated from all that porn for all those years so you can give yourself
a break but don't go back to the screen because when you give your brain another hit of dopamine
you've just trained that puppy yet again and if you entertain that urge to masturbate or to touch
yourself in a rousing way that's giving your brain a smaller dopamine hit but a dopamine hit all
the same so you're telling your brain okay brain we're not watching porn anymore but we are going
to get these dopamine hits from self-soothing now this is the ultimate goal is that you can engage
with the world without the need to self-soothe that's what a program is helping you to recover
your authentic self the one who feels good in the world and can create a life you love that feels
amazing to you and when you create that life then there's no need to self-soothe and the journey of
recovery is getting you from where you are to where you want to be and that can become your
reality so don't give in to the urge in the moment it's challenging if it's the middle of the night
have a playlist make a sleepy time playlist i highly recommend pachelbel's canon and d
i listen to that every night i take a shower before i go to bed and i put pachelbel's canon
and d on i put the lights low it's lovely and relaxing as i get ready for bed check
that song out it's amazing it really is sue's the nervous system but if that doesn't do it for you
find a playlist that does something that you don't think about but that sues your nervous system
because that is what your brain wants it wants soothing so give it soothing in a healthy way
and in the morning if it's difficult for you to get rid of those sexual urges know that it's about
mood regulation about what you have going on in your life it's not about sex so looking to sex
you're looking at the wrong thing when you go over here and you look at your life now you're looking
at the right stuff but it might spark some of that discomfort that you are getting more comfortable
with okay if you'd like help on this journey i'm here for you so reach out drtrishleigh.com i'd
love to help you out and until next time control your brain or it'll control you