[ Cheers and applause ]
-First, we're gonna need another player.
And we found a good one.
His new comedy special "Woke-ish" is on Netflix now.
Please welcome Marlon Wayans, everyone.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That was smooth. That was smooth.
-I'm smooth. -That was smooth.
-I'm sitting here with "Black Panther."
I gotta have my black excellence on.
You know? [ Laughter ]
You know we both went to Howard University?
-Yeah. -H.U.!
-You know! -Yeah, I know that part.
I went about three years. -Oh, man.
-All right, here's how the game works, okay?
I went to college, too. Uh...
[ Laughter ]
In front of each of us are two envelopes
containing confessions.
One confession is true. The other is a lie.
Once you read your confession, the other two players
have 45 seconds to interrogate you,
and they have to guess if you've been lying or telling the truth.
Marlon, you'll go first. Chad, which envelope
should Marlon open, one or two?
-Hmm.
He's something up under there.
-Yeah. -Number two.
-Two? All right, no problem.
All right. Do I open it?
-Yeah. -Jimmy, I wanna win this.
-Why? -Because every time
I come on this show, you win something.
And I don't like this. This game is rigged.
-It's not rigged. You haven't even played it yet!
-All right.
"I once made out with Madonna."
[ Laughter ]
[ Music plays ]
-What -- uh, how old were you?
-How old was I when I made out with Madonna?
-Yeah. -Which time?
[ Laughter ]
No, this -- -How old were --
-This was about five -- five years ago.
-Five years ago. -Yeah, yeah.
-And where was it? -Where were you, at a party?
-Where was we? -Yeah, you and Madonna.
-At a party. -Yeah? That's funny.
-We was at a party. -You sound like
you're just saying what he said. -No!
We was at a party! -Oh, maybe that's his move.
What was Madonna wearing?
-She had on a red outfit, but it was tight
'cause I seen Madonna ass.
And I was -- [ stammering ] Okay.
-Whose party was it?
-It was a -- a Oscar party.
[ Light laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-It was a puppy afterparty. -It was not, no.
-Yeah, puppy afterparty, and everybody was drunk
on CIROC, so things happened.
[ Laughter ]
-I don't know, man.
-Yeah, because I feel like -- you're going to say lie?
I'm thinking about it. I need to think about it.
-I'm going to say -- made out with Madonna.
I mean -- good for you, by the way.
[ Laughter ]
I'm going to say...
it's a lie.
-I made out with Madonna, man!
-You did!
[ Music plays ]
-Yes, I did! Yes, I did!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yo! -Yes, I did!
-Yo! -Woo!
-Yes, I did! -Wow!
-And I tasted Britney Spears.
I tasted Drake. -Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey. -You only got one envelope.
-It was a goodbye kiss. And it was awesome.
And I don't think she remembers it, because she was kissing
somebody else by the time I left.
But it was awesome!
[ Laughter ]
-Tasted Britney Spears. -All right.
-All right, here we go. It's my turn.
This was fantastic.
Which envelope? -I'm scared -- I'm scared now.
-Which one should I open?
-I'ma go for -- um...
One. -Hmm.
-One.
Why he dressed all cool, and me and you look like
a broke-ass "Men in Black"?
[ Laughter ]
-Is that -- Is that black, or is that navy?
"Men in Navy." "Men in Navy."
-That's the remix.
[ Laughter ]
-We should make that movie. "Broke-ass Men in Black."
I would do it. I'd do it with you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right.
"I once performed at a Def Jam Comedy Hour under the name
Jeffrey Schmollen."
[ Laughter ]
[ Music plays ]
-A Def Jam Comedy Hour.
-Did they have any white people on Def?
-I don't remember none. -I don't remember that.
There was a couple, but I don't remember you being
on -- which -- this is, like, early on Def Jam?
-Who was on the bill with you?
-Uh -- -Who'd you impersonate?
-No, the guy that says, "hamburgers."
-[ Laughs ] He might've done it.
"Hamburger," yeah, yeah.
-You know, Alonzo, uh, ham-burger!
-Yeha, ham-hurger!
-Yeah. Hamburger was there.
-Like, he would just tell a long story and nobody laughs.
He goes, "ham-burger." [ Mimics laughter ]
-Hamburger was there. Kid Capri was there.
-Okay, Kid Capri. Was Russell was there?
-Russell was not there.
-Russell was not at a Def Jam? -I don't believe that.
No, no, no. -It sounds shady.
-It sounds shady.
-Was it you two when, like, Shaq --
[ Buzzer ]
-How did you do?
-I did well.
-Hmmm.
Ah.
Look, man.
I'm gonna be real with you.
[ Laughter ]
I like you, Jimmy, but Jeffery Schmollen,
that don't sound like a real name to me.
I'm calling it a lie.
-Yeah, I call a bluff, too.
-It is true. -What!
[ Music plays ]
-It was a Def Jam -- -Pull up the tape!
-It was a Def Jam tour.
It was a Def Jam tour and it was to enter the contest.
If you won this contest, you could get in and perform
on the bill that night in Albany, New York.
And I was 18.
So, you had to be 21 to enter the contest.
So I used a fake I.D.
[ Laughter ]
Ad then I ended up winning the contest.
I'm like -- -With a name like
Jeffrey Schmollen, was it a black guy?
-No, I wasn't a black guy.
But, yeah, Jeffrey Schmollen performed at the show.
I was introduced as Jeffery Schmollen.
-I still don't believe you.
He got this show rigged, y'all. It's the Fallon Show.
-Come on, no!
All right, Chadwick, it's your turn.
-Mmm. -Okay.
You grabbed for that one. -No, I didn't grab for anything.
-Oh, interesting. -You look shady, brother.
-Yeah, already, you're shady, man.
-I don't believe it already. -Hmm.
-Mm-hmm. No, I do, just kidding.
No, I don't. No, I do.
-I don't. -Number two?
What do you think?
-He's sweating in the beard a little bit.
[ Laughter ]
I think the boy's lying before it even starts.
-Your beard's glistening a little bit.
-Number two? Number two?
-Number two. -Number two?
-Here we go. Here we go.
-"I once went on a date with a Colombian model
and her twin sister."
[ Music plays ]
-And did she, like -- the Doublemint twins.
Did they rock?
-Is that a question?
[ Laughter ]
-I'm sorry. I just go so excited.
Like, two Colombians sisters that look alike.
This is a dope date. -What year was this?
-This was -- 2011?
-Was it in Colombia?
-No. -Where were you?
-I was in --
-Answer him! -I was in --
I was in Mexico.
-Was both of them fine, or was one of them like, eww.
[ Laughter ]
-They were identical. They were identical.
-All right, but one's a model. -Identical twins.
-Model twins, you went on a date with two identical
Colombian models. [ Buzzer ]
-And what city did he say he was in?
-He was in Mexico. -I didn't say a city.
I didn't say the city. -I think the boy lyin'.
I'm sorry. Look, I --
-It is true!
-You did not! -I say true?
-No, you can't do this!
-I can now! -You can't do this!
-I did it now!
I did it now!
It can happen. I believe that can happen.
[ Cheers and applause ]
A lot of stuff -- We have a lot of stuff --
[ Shouting over each other ]
-You are Black Panther and so -- -I was doing -- I was doing --
[ laughter ]
I wanted to -- -Two of my sisters
wanna date you, at least. -No.
I wanted to go on a date with the model.
I didn't know she had a twin sister.
Her English wasn't as good, my Spanish wasn't as good,
so she said, "Let me bring my sister."
She shows up and looks just like her.
But her sister is a doctor, so I'm talking through her
for half the night and she -- -That's when you pick up
your phone and you called Marlon.
[ Laughter ]
-Our thanks to Chadwick Boseman. Marlon Wayans!