[ Film projector clicking
♪♪♪♪
-♪♪ He loves animals, and they love him back ♪♪
♪♪ Interspecies friends, we ain't kidding, Mack ♪♪
♪♪ Brian Fellow's Safari Plane Brian Fellow's Safari Planet ♪
♪♪♪♪
-Brian Fellow is not an accredited zoologist,
nor does he hold an advanced degree
in any of the environmenta sciences.
He is simply an enthusiastic young man
with a sixth grade education
and an abiding love for all God's creatures.
Share his love tonight on...
-♪♪ Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's ♪
♪♪ Safari Planet ♪♪
-Good evening. And welcome t "Brian Fellow's Safari Planet.
I'm Brian Fellow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
We have two very special anima guests for you tonight.
Both are hairy and have teeth.
Please welcome my first guest, a beaver!
[ Laughter and applause ]
And who are you?
-Well, I'm Patrick McGrath
and I work with North American mammals at the Bronx Zoo.
-I'm Brian Fellows. [ Laughter ]
So, what's up with that beaver He seems snotty.
-Oh, well, no, Javier here i far from snotty.
Uh, he's a hard-working little rodent.
An adult beaver like Javie
can chew through 400 pound of timber in a single day.
-So, what does he do with all the wood he steals?
-Well, beavers make lodges
The world's largest beaver lodge, in Alberta, Canada,
is 850 yards long and can be seen from space
-That's crazy!
[ Laughter ]
-I know, right?
And beavers are definitely the builders of the animal world
-I'm Brian Fellows.
[ Laughter ]
-Yes, I know.
-So, approximately on average,
roughly how many cigarettes does this beaver smoke in a day
-Um, zero?
-My father was a builder.
He smoked four packs a day
All his snotty builder friends smoked, too.
Marlboro Lights.
-Well, beavers don't smoke Mr. Fellow.
Uh, no animals smoke.
-That's a lie.
I saw a monkey smoking a cigar on a funny video show.
You're a liar, skinny man.
Stop telling lies on my show
Get out of here!
I'm sorry about that.
My show is about animals, not lies and snottiness.
But I know my next guest
doesn't believe in all that stuff, either.
He lives in a desert and loves water.
Please welcome a camel!
[ Laughter, cheers, and applause ]
♪♪♪♪
-And who are you?
-I-I am Janie Shamburg
of the American Dromedary Research Center...
-And I -- -...and adjunct professor
of veterinary science at Rutgers University...
-I'm -- -...as well as co-presiden
of the Bergen County chapter of the ASPCA.
-Are you done? [ Laughter ]
-Yes, I am.
-I'm Brian Fellows.
-And this is Elizabeth, okay
She's 14 years old,
and she came to us from Morocco.
-That's crazy!
Now, most people hate camels
Why do you think that is?
-Well, I, uh -- I don't thin that's true, actually.
-That's not an answer, Larry
-Uh, okay, actually, that is a answer.
I-I disagree with the premis of your question.
I think people have a very positive view of camels
because they're desert animals who --
-You got to make sure the jois is supported by an I-beam, boy
Or the whole thing is gonna collapse.
You listening to me, Brian
-...carry water and different things...
-Hey. I don't know if you remember me,
but we were together in the green room
at that animal show hosted by that crazy guy.
I was too shy to come over and say hello,
but I remember thinking, "Damn, that girl is fine."
[ Laughter ]
♪♪♪♪
[ Laughter ]
-You are useless, son!
Spending all damn day readin those wildlife magazines.
How come you never got no girlfriends, Brian?
-You don't even know me, Daddy
-Wow, uh, I'm sorry.
Did you -- Did you just call me daddy
-No. I'm Brian Fellows.
And that camel's name again -- What's his name?
-This is Elizabeth.
-We out of here, Elizabeth
Join me next week when my guests
will be a squirrel and a chicken.
I can't see, camel!
I'm Brian Fellows.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Film projector clicking
-♪♪ He loves animals, and they love him back ♪♪
♪♪ Interspecies friends, we ain't kidding, Mack ♪♪
♪♪ Brian Fellow's Safari Plane Brian Fellow's Safari Planet ♪
♪♪♪♪
-Brian Fellow is not an accredited zoologist,
nor does he hold an advanced degree
in any of the environmenta sciences.
He is simply an enthusiastic young man
with a sixth grade education
and an abiding love for all God's creatures.
Share his love tonight on...
-♪♪ Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's ♪
♪♪ Safari Planet ♪♪
-Good evening. And welcome t "Brian Fellow's Safari Planet.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm Brian Fellow.
Tonight we're gonna be meeting some animals
who have some big ears!
[ Whispering ] I bet they can hear me whisper
[ Normal voice ] I'm very excited
to meet some new friends.
So let's get going!
Our first guest has some good eyesight
because he eats carrots.
Please welcome a bunny rabbit!
♪♪♪♪
And who are you?!
-I'm Gabby Connors.
I work for the City ZooMobil in Santa Barbara!
Welcome, Barbara!
-[ Chuckles ] No, no, I'm Gabby.
I'm from Santa Barbara!
I'm Brian Fellow!
-Hi, Brian. Well, today I've brought someone
for you to meet. This is Riley.
He's one of our most popular animals on the zoomobile.
He's a 3-year-old short-haired rabbit.
-Why did you cut its hair so short?!
-Actually, I didn't cut its hair short.
Um, this particular rabbit has natural hair. Yeah.
-Rabbits can't cut they own hair? That's crazy!
[ Laughter ]
-Of course rabbits can't cut their own hair, no.
-That's what I said.
-You're right, and even though this rabbit's fur is short
the coat is thick enough
to keep him plenty warm in the winter nights.
-But I bet if he tried to cu his own hair,
he might cut one of his ears off!!
-Well, I suppose so. But just like I said,
this rabbit didn't cut its own hair. It didn't.
-Then why did you bring hi here?
Get him out of here!
Next time, make sure he does what you say he do!
[ Laughter ]
I'm truly sorry about that It's inexcusable.
Someone's gonna lose they jo behind that!
Now I mean this.
[ Laughter ]
Our next guest has big ears, too,
'cause he likes to carry coffee beans and rocks.
Please welcome, a donkey!
♪♪♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
And who are you?
-Hi, I'm Doc Ellis
from the Lancaster Children's Petting Zoo.
-I'm Brian Fellow.
Hello, Brian! I -- I'd like yo to meet Jessie.
I already have a friend name Jessie. He fixes my car.
-That -- That's nice.
-Does this donkey fix cars
-No, he doesn't.
-Then they probably not related.
-[ Chuckling ] You know what You're probably right.
Did you see that rabbit with the short haircut?
-Yeah, I sure did.
That was crazy!
-[ Laughing ] It sure was,
and although it might look like it,
this donkey did not give itsel a haircut.
-I know that. I'm not stupid
-I -- I was just kidding.
-I'm Brian Fellow.
Let me ask you a question.
Is a donkey and a mule the same thing?
-You know, that's a very goo question.
Actually, they're not. A mule is a...
♪♪♪♪
-[ Laughing ]
He's crazy!
-What? What are you talking about
What are you talking about -The haircut rabbit.
[ Laughs ]
-What haircut rabbit?
-Just think about it!
♪♪♪♪
[ Laughter ]
-[ Laughs ] He is crazy, you're right!
I'm Brian Fellow, and that's all the time we have for today
Join me next time when we will meet a flying squirrel.
That sounds crazy! I'm Brian Fellow!
-♪♪ Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's ♪
♪♪ Safari Planet ♪♪
-♪♪ He loves animals, and they love him back ♪♪
♪♪ Interspecies friends, we ain't kidding, Mack ♪♪
♪♪ Brian Fellow's Safari Plane Brian Fellow's Safari Planet ♪
♪♪♪♪
-Brian Fellow is not an accredited zoologist,
nor does he hold an advanced degree
in any of the environmenta sciences.
He is simply an enthusiastic young man
with a sixth grade education
and an abiding love for all God's creatures.
Share his love tonight on...
-♪♪ Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's ♪
♪♪ Safari Planet ♪♪
-Good evening. And welcome t "Brian Fellow's Safari Planet.
I'm Brian Fellow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Tonight, I have a very special guest.
Co-hosting the show tonight is a man who is like a brother to me.
Say hello to my brother, Ryan Fellow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome, Ryan fellow.
-I'm Ryan Fellow.
-I'm Brian Fellow.
Today, we're going to meet some animals that are friendly
and some that are frightful.
I'm gettin' goosebumps jus thinkin' about 'em.
-Me, too. -Let's get going!
Our first guest likes to balance balls on his nose
and is a master of the bicycle horn.
Please welcome a seal!
♪♪♪♪
And who are you?
-I'm Ricky Ashton of the Corpus Christi Sea Aquarium.
-I'm Brian Fellow!
-Hello, Brian.
-This is my brother.
-I'm Ryan Fellow.
-Hello, Ryan.
I would like for you to meet Sammy.
He is a 3-year-old seal from the Pacific coast of California.
He eats almost 12 pounds of fish a day.
-I hear those seals like t party.
-Excuse me?
-I hear they like to go clubbing with Eskimos.
-I like to go clubbing, and I do love the ladies.
-He does love the ladies.
-I'm Ryan Fellow.
-I'm Brian Fellow.
-And this is Sammy.
-So, tell us, why do seals love to go clubbing?
-You're mistaken. When people talk about
"clubbing seals," that's something different
[ Laughter ]
-Okay. Well, tell us about the mating process.
-Well, during the breeding season, the male seal
fights for dominance and may have a harem
of 15 to 30 female seals.
-A harem? That's crazy!
-Are you saying that seals are Mormons?
-That's a very good -- [ Laughter ]
-That is a very good question.
-Actually, it's not.
Seals have no religious affiliation.
However, the dominant male doe have more than one partner
-Do they meet all those ladies
when they go clubbing with Eskimos?
-No. That's not right.
-He loves to go clubbing.
-And I do love the ladies.
-Actually, what you're referring to is a horrible practice
where baby seals are brutall murdered for their fur.
-That's depressing. Why did you bring that up?
-You don't come on my brother's show
and talk about things like that.
-Get out!
[ Laughter ]
I'm sorry you had to see that, Ryan.
I've been compromised as a professional journalist
-You know who you should hav had on this show?
-Who?
-Frosty the Snowman.
-That's ridiculous!
We only have animals on this show.
He is not an animal. He is a snow man!
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, sorry.
But it's Christmas.
-Again, he is a man.
Okay.
Our next guest lives in a cave
and can't see his own reflection in a mirror.
Please welcome a bat!
[ Laughter ]
And what is your name, sir
-Oh, well, I am a woman, actually.
And my name is Sarah Bellow, from the Bronx Zoo.
-I'm Brian Fellow!
-I'm Ryan Fellow.
-Great.
-Your bat looks scary.
Is he going to fly over and bite me?
-[ Chuckles ] No. I think you're safe.
Although their diets vary widely,
bats eat mostly insects and fruit.
-Bats live in caves, right
Does he know where Osama bin Laden is?
[ Laughter ]
-No, no, he doesn't.
-Shoot, there is a big rewar for him.
-I was gonna use that money to go clubbing.
-Bats are nocturnal creatures.
This means that they sleep during the day
and hunt at night.
-He does the same thing.
He sleeps during the day
and goes hunting for ladie at night.
-I love the ladies. I'm Ryan Fellow.
[ Laughter ] -I'm Brian Fellow.
-Okay, and I'm Sarah Bellow. [ Chuckles ]
And we are still talkin' about my bat.
-That bat looks old.
-Well, actually, this is a silver-haired bat,
and his hair has been this color since he was very young.
-When he turns into a man, how old will he be?
-Well, he can't turn into a man.
-Well, how do you explain Batman, then?
[ Laughter ]
-[ Laughs ]
He got you.
[ Laughter ]
-No, he didn't get me, for any number of reasons.
First of all, Batman is not a real person.
And, secondly, Batman is not Dracula.
Batman was never a bat.
-Hey, fellas, what's goin' on?
-Frosty! -Frosty!
-He's not actually frosty. He's just silver-haired.
-This show's boring.
You should have me as a guest.
-That's what I told Brian,
but he said you couldn't, 'cause you're a man.
-Darn right I'm a man.
You want to see my snowballs
-No, I don't want to see your balls!
I do not want to see your balls!
-Look, I told you, I am not a man.
You know, I'm outta here.
-Well, that's our show for today.
Join me next time when we will be visited by a dogfish.
-That sounds crazy.
-I'm Brian Fellow. -I'm Ryan fellow.
-Good night! [ Cheers and applause ]
-♪♪ Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's, Brian Fellow's ♪
♪♪ Safari Planet ♪♪