all right
not much you can do about it now I got a stain I've been told I've got
a stain on my jacket is that right look at that oh God what is that
sick
I don't I don't think you need to react violently ladies and gentlemen
I mean who Among Us hasn't had a stain and an embarrassing part of their clothing at someone
bring in the jacket do we have another
hey
that's nice to know 200 million dollar TV show here in the network and I'm dressed
like a squeegee guy terribly embarrassed about that big ugly stain on my jacket are we coming
on the other jacket anybody seen another jacket you know I tell you what if if we're on the air
much longer we should get a backup jacket that could be yeah cute idea uh Dear Dave
letter number one by the way these are actual letters from actual viewers and
sit real close to the TV because who knows tonight perhaps we'll be reading your letter
I don't remember then Paul say letter number one all right I say letter number one
letter number one then Casey Casey says Casey Kasem says our number one letter
tonight makes it CBS mailbag debut at number one thank you very much Casey
Stacy Cason that's the greatest helping out with a big number countdown tonight uh Dear
Mr Letterman I've always admired Paul shaffer's individuality and his taste in clothing is there
a chance I might get a peek at his wardrobe closet I suspect that it would be interesting
a voyeuristically yours John Mr Peepers turkies Salem Oregon coincidentally I don't have a jacket
and tonight we have a question about your wardrobe right there Paul uh John of course I can't let
you look into Paul's Closet that would be uh intrusive but Paul why don't you show uh the
viewers what jacket you're wearing tonight look at this right over there the jacket this is the uh
oh there's the label and oh yeah oh yeah nice isn't it nice stuff very uh inexpensive too
now wouldn't it be something if a little later a stain appears I need
to know something that's something that may suggest a whole other realm of difficulty
that ain't strictly speaking a wardrobe problem letter number two letter number
two Casey the countdown doesn't stop till we reach the top holding steady from last
week at number two here's letter number two letter number two thank you very much Casey
do you and Paul ever play with puppets love from uh Ray Baker
Thornhill Ontario uh no Ray Paul and I don't ever play with puppets but uh
one of the guys in the band Anton I think he does something with uh what is it you do Antron
you play with something that's interesting yeah Dave you know puppets are for children but yeah
sometimes I like to dress my drumsticks up like you and Paul oh that's cute so now you use those
drumsticks that look like Paul and myself and you're gonna play all night with the drums and
the sticks huh yeah well actually Dave I was I was just kind of yank both the heads off and eat them
Anton's big ladies and gentlemen
letter number three letter number three letter numbers letter number three here's a countdown
trivia question who wrote Aretha Franklin's 1967 number one hit respect the answer in a moment
Aretha Franklin's number one hit respect was written by none other than R B legend Otis Redding
here's letter number three number three thank you very much
Dear Dave I am a senior associate at the law firm of labrum and doke in Philadelphia so Dave do you
need any legal assistance sincerely John J Daly Philadelphia Pennsylvania no uh John The Late
Show here at CBS we have an excellent legal staff and on their advice by the way tonight we're going
to take a moment for something a little unusual for the program you know for the last three weeks
The Late Show has been visited by a man dressed as Ronald McDonald so for legal reasons tonight we're
allowing the CEO of McDonald's Mr Charles Trumbull to respond on behalf of his company Charles
thank you Mr Letterman and let me Begin by saying McDonald's does have a sense
of humor I personally enjoy your big ten list and your audience uh response segment and so on
but your recent depictions of Ronald McDonald have gone too far
I call upon David Letterman and his staff to portray our company and its products in a fair
and responsible manner or I regret to say we'll have to resort to legal proceedings in order
I was hit by a train
wow man there's a high drama here tonight laughs let's see where are we letter number four letter
number four ladies number letter number four Casey our fourth and final letter is a long distance
dedication from a listener in New York City he writes dear Casey I'm a large disoriented clown
I have very little pleasure in my life except for the few hours I spend listening to your show each
week it would make my day if you dedicate letter number four to my mommy sincerely Ronald McDonald
P.S I'm nuts well Ronald it would be my pleasure hear from you to your mommy is letter number four
let it on the floor
I'm just wondering what are the entrance for the Nobel Prize for literature have to
be in is it too late I'm telling you tonight's show scoot that right to the top letter number
letter number four Dear Dave I think you're really a good guy thank you very much would
you like to go out on a date sometime please give me a call sincerely Martha
previte Lawrence Massachusetts well uh that's a very sweet letter Martha and thank you very
much I couldn't be more flattered uh and maybe you know who knows maybe one day we could go
out on a date but you know you had you're right about one thing I am I am a terrific date I'm a
I'm nothing you know fun hey let me tell you something fun follows me around especially
uh on a date but don't take my word for it here listen to some of the women I've dated
I remember being impressed when he laughed at my jokes but then he wouldn't stop he just kept
laughing and laughing for hours our first and only date was a blind one Dave showed up in
scuba gear in bed they would always ask me to call him Merv Davidson use himself by making
little mustaches out of paper napkins and make these paper mustaches paper mustaches and the
table candle lettuce paper mustache on fire I sat with him in the hospital for 10 hours
he was very irritating gruesome tender it was just a [ __ ] bag so you'll see
have a great day yeah there you go it's uh it's Fleet it's Fleet week we had to
do a little something for the sailors tonight
well thank you Paul thank you very much for your help thank you very much for your help
I'm Casey Casey till next time keep your feet in the ground and keep reaching for the Sun
thank you