(soft somber music)
- Does everyone hate you?
100%, and here's how.
Therapists say the fear that others hate you
is one all humans experience,
and in reality is unlikely.
But are you really gonna trust therapists?
They only have a job because people hate each other.
Joining me today is a man who gets hate in the comments,
Adam Waheed.
- Hey, what's up?
Happy to be here.
Is this a?
- A momentary psychosis?
- Oh, I thought this was an escape room.
- There is no escape.
- Wha- - Let's say you find out
that two of your close friends
were hanging out without you.
They spent an entire day at a rollercoaster park,
having the time of their lives.
- That's weird, why didn't they invite me?
- Maybe because you're always talking
about how you hate roller coasters,
and never not vomit on them.
- Yeah, that's true.
They probably just didn't want me to get sick.
- But, when you look at their posts,
you see none of the pictures are on roller coasters.
Your friends are riding the carousel
and eating funnel cakes.
- Well, I'll just text them.
Hey, what's up guys?
I love funnel cakes.
They left me on read.
Well, they're probably just busy.
- Hating you.
- [Adam] Alright, what if my friends invited me out
and I'm having a great time?
- [Doctor] Until one of your friends says
"It's time to open gifts."
- But the invitation said no gifts.
- Exactly. But, everyone besides you still brought a gift.
- So no gifts means yes gifts?
- It sometimes does,
but it's impossible to know when or how,
and today no gifts means yes gifts.
- [Adam] Well, maybe I'll just see
if my girlfriend has something.
- You brought your girlfriend?
- Yeah, the invitation said anyone's welcome.
- [Doctor] But no one else brought a guest.
- [Adam] So no one's welcome?
- And everyone hates you.
- Wait, what, how does that, that doesn't make sense.
- Let's say you always bring gifts,
especially when it comes to your mom's birthday.
- Oh yeah. I always give my mom the best gifts.
Last year I got her socks with my face on it.
Yeah, I'm her favorite?
- Were.
- What?
- [Doctor] You were your mom's favorite,
until your fuck-up brother forgot to pull out
and had a baby,
and thus gave her the greatest gift of all,
becoming a grandmother.
- He's not even a good dad!
He leaves his baby in hot cars all the time.
- And saying stuff like that
only makes your mom like you less.
- This sucks, I'm the one that has a better career than him.
- [Doctor] Parents don't care about that.
They only care about babies.
If your mom was Sophie, her choice would be not you.
- Alright, so what if my friends and family like me,
and they say it to my face all the time.
- [Doctor] But, when you post a photo online,
you don't get the same response.
Some of your family doesn't even comment.
How can they like physical you,
if they don't like digital you?
- Because it, because they do.
'Cause sometimes they do like it
and I just posted and it's doing great.
- [Doctor] Is it?
What about your ex-girlfriend?
The one from the breakup you both said was amicable?
She saw your post, but hasn't engaged.
- What about my old boss who,
he liked my photo and then he unfollowed me?
But, that was probably just a accident,
because accidents happen, that happens.
- [Doctor] Or, did he like your post ironically?
And now he and all of his friends are laughing about you
in a group chat?
- Are all my positive comments ironic?
- 100%.
Because everyone in the world,
including your friends and family hates you.
- I just want people to like me.
I didn't think that...
- Yeah.
The more you want people to like you, the less they do,
it's a thirsty paradox.
- The what?
- Eh, it's like a parabola.
- Okay.
What if I know somebody likes me,
because they made a vow that says, "I like you."
- [Doctor] They promise to like you forever?
- [Adam] Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
- [Doctor] But people change.
And your wife had an emotional affair
with her cycling instructor and now she hates you.
You're divorced.
She cites irreconcilable differences.
- [Adam] What does that mean?
- It means the woman that promised to like you forever,
hates you.
And so does everybody else.
I'm doctor expert Natasha Vain Blatt.
- And I'm sorry, okay.
I didn't wanna offend anybody.
I will send cash apps,
put your cash app name in here
and I'll send you money right now.
- Your worst fear has been confirmed.
- Alright, what if I'm funny?
- No one likes a clown.
- What if I'm quiet?
- No one likes a weirdo.
- Okay. What if I'm really nice?
- No one likes a suck up.
- What if I'm really loyal?
- No one likes a clinger.
- What if I'm really generous?
- No one likes a show off.
- Dah! Okay.
What if I'm really considerate?
- No one likes a creep.
- Okay. How do I get out of here?
- Collect the likes.
- They're disappearing!
- That's because affection is ephemeral.
(soft somber music)