- Three rules if you apply
will completely transform your life
and help you to raise your dominant vibration permanently
without falling back onto the old patterns.
Now, here is the first rule
that if you live by completely transforms your life.
That is learning the power of being in your own frame.
Being in your own frame
is one of the most magnetic qualities you can have.
When you are in your own frame of reality,
what this means is that you have a vision for yourself,
you have a ability within yourself to feel safe,
and you are not then tuning to other people
looking for safety or looking for validation.
This was a game changer for me
because growing up, and especially even years ago,
I felt like I was such an empath.
I could feel what everyone else was feeling.
I could easily know what people's intentions were.
And it was something that then led to me having a challenge
of setting boundaries with people.
And the other big weight and big burden
that came from this
is that I felt obligated and responsible
for other people's happiness, other people's emotions,
and I also developed a personality
of trying to fix other people,
trying to fix my friends, trying to fix my family.
I'd find myself in relationships
where I was always losing my own frame
in order to help them feel better.
There was something I got out of that too.
The only reason we normally do things
is because there's some form of payoff there.
The payoff from helping other people
and tuning to other people
was that I felt validated and I felt approved of.
And one of the things that I had to stop doing
was letting go of my frame
so that I could tune to everybody else,
to tune to my environment
or to tune to friends and family,
and instead start to tune to who the hell I wanna be,
tune to my own vision.
And funny enough, once I started doing that,
I had a completely different result in my reality.
I remember when I learned something
called the frame technique,
which is simply a process for staring at a candle flame,
feeling on the in breath
the separation between you and the flame,
and then on the out breath, feeling the connection
and the connection to the peripheral.
And it was a very powerful way
because as I started to get into that energy,
I started to release energy
as I was doing the frame technique
and I started to feel safe inside of my own body.
Like, instead of going to the store
and even just walking around
or I remember I'd used to go on hikes in Sedona
and I'd feel obligated to say hi to people
when I passed them and stuff
and I could feel myself just feeling other people's energy,
instead what I would do is I'd actually focus
on the separation between me and other people.
And as I put the awareness in my body,
it was like people were so nice,
I'd get this validation that I no longer really needed,
but it was something that would happen as a reflection.
Now, when it comes to raising your vibration,
one of the things I notice in people a lot
is that people that are,
normally who've been through a spiritual awakening,
may have gone through some type of childhood pain
where they then didn't feel safe in their own bodies
or they had to tune to their parents to find safety.
And what ended up happening from that
is a feeling of always tuning to other
and even though now it's been years,
it's like they're tuning to the girlfriend, the boyfriend,
they're tuning to their friends,
and then they start to ask the question like,
"Who the hell am I?
What do I want?"
And one of the things that really helped me
was shedding the people pleaser persona,
and it was a persona, 'cause as a people pleaser,
you're trying to exchange being nice to people
in exchange for validation and approval.
And I had to be honest with myself
and I had to start realizing how fake that was.
It was hard for me to look at,
but I realized, "Wait, me being nice is me being fake.
I'm literally pretending to be a way that I'm not naturally,
that's not actually real and authentic,
and I need to stop doing that."
And what that meant for me
was start valuing vulnerability and authenticity
over other people's liking me
or other people's approval or validation.
And when that changed, a lot changed.
I'd have the courage to express myself.
I had to have the ability to tap into myself to say,
"What the hell do I want to do?"
And then choose to do that.
Helped with dating,
helped with setting boundaries with people.
My life became so much easier
when I started to be in my own frame.
And remember, too, if you're the,
we get in life a direct reflection of our own energy.
And if we are being the energy
of the cameo in other people's movies
by tuning to their frame,
then we're gonna be the cameo of their movies
and we're not the star of our own movie.
We're playing that role.
But the moment we take our star role back
and we begin to lead in our life
and we have a vision and we have values that we live by
instead of the values that we're given
or the values that we're conditioned,
like approval or validation, valuing that,
just a mechanism that we used as a kid to get our needs met
of validation and approval,
instead, letting that go and saying,
"What the hell do I actually value?
Who am I?
What vision do I have for my life?"
And as you do that, you will see that there's a new gravity.
But you can't also just make the internal change
and say, "Okay, I'm looking to the outside.
Has everything changed yet?"
You have to be it.
And that's what I had to do.
I started being authentic, started being vulnerable.
I started expressing how I really felt
to my friends and my family.
I started setting boundaries
or just doing things I wanted to do.
And as I started to do that, guess what ended up happening?
My life changed as a reflection.
I was more attractive
and I would get more validation
because I didn't give a shit,
I wasn't attached,
and I was just, I was being myself
because it's who I choose to be
instead of being myself because of what I could get.
You see the difference?
It's like you could be something
because it's the end of itself
or you could be something
'cause you're gonna get something else,
you're gonna get some type of result.
It's the difference between a means to an end
and then having something that is an end of itself.
Now, the second thing,
the second rule if you live by is this.
Rule number two is that every moment is a new moment.
Treat it as a new moment.
Every moment, every moment, you're a new you,
which means you can let go of your old story
and realize that your current life
is a reflections of the stories
that you've been attached to,
the stories you've believed in.
Now, what quantum physics shows us
is that every moment is a new moment.
Every moment's a new moment.
Every moment is a new moment.
The interesting thing is because of the identity,
because of the stories that we tell ourself,
we may tell ourselves the same story
and then be in a new moment,
but tell ourselves the same story
so we create the illusion that we are the same.
So we continue to stay stuck.
And the reason we're stuck
is because we have attached ourself to a story
that we're not aware we can simply let go of.
Your life can change like this
when you understand this rule, too, by the way.
For so long, I believed
and I was living within the confinements of having ADHD,
taking Adderall for it
back when I worked that sales job at Nordstroms
in women's shoes,
and my life was full of me going to work,
taking Adderall, selling shoes, getting off,
not being able to sleep or eat very well, smoking cannabis,
doing things like that
so that I could finally sleep and eat
'cause I had no appetite.
And then repeating the cycle,
feeling completely codependent on these substances.
And then eventually I learned meditation.
I started observing my thoughts.
I started grounding myself in grass.
I started connecting more inside of my own body.
And as I started to observe
and I started to let go of that story,
guess what happened?
Within a week or two, completely off of Adderall,
completely off of smoking cannabis,
meditating in the grass all the time, 24 hours,
I'm just kidding.
I would meditate for 10 minutes in the morning,
10 minutes at night,
and I'd ground myself.
I reframed it.
Instead of, you know, people say,
"What's wrong with you?
Why do you have so much energy?"
I'd say, "Wow, I have a lot of energy.
I'm gonna go ground myself in grass.
That's what I'm gonna go do.
I'm gonna walk barefoot on the grass."
I found other modalities 'cause I changed my story.
It can shift like that.
I've used this as well
where one day I'm working my nine-to-five job
selling women's shoes
and then I simply decide I'm a full-time YouTuber now.
I'm gonna make a video every single day on YouTube
because it's part of my identity.
It's easy, it's easy when it's a part of your identity.
There's a little initial part
where you have it as a part of your identity
and then it feels like kind of,
when it's a part of your identity,
it's like there's this little buffer zone,
but then eventually it snaps in like that, becomes easy.
And then what happens
is it becomes natural for your self-image.
Now, also, if you haven't calibrated your vibration yet,
if you've never gone to the website,
whatsmyvibration.com, or I'll link it below,
you can calibrate your vibration
and get a meditation
for getting to the next level of consciousness.
That will help you really exponentialize
raising your dominant vibration permanently
without falling back,
just a little,
and all you gotta do is click whatsmyvibration.com.
Now, the third rule to live by
that will completely change your life,
that is life changing to the tee,
is simply this.
The life-changing rule
is that you can allow things to be natural
for your new self-image.
When we put things on a pedestal
and we make things very important,
we energetically separate ourselves from it.
One thing I've had to do throughout my life
is look at what is called importance.
How important am I making something outside of myself?
If I make it very important
that this person, this woman texts me back,
if I make it very important
that I get this specific thing that I'm looking for,
and I put it on a pedestal,
then what ends up happening is I create resistance.
Now, the key is detaching from outcome
and letting go
and really looking at, like,
what do you give a shit about?
Now, one thing that's changed my life
is learning to give more of a shit
about the things that I truly value
and less of the things that don't really matter,
but I thought mattered for a period of time.
This kind of connects to number one too,
because the way you let go
of caring what other people think of you,
the way you let go of giving a shit
about things that really don't matter at the core,
is you become aware that you were valuing something
that you may no longer value.
If you value other people's validation and approval,
then guess what?
You'll put that on a pedestal
and you'll look for it and you'll hope for it.
At the same time,
if you value authenticity and vulnerability
like I was talking about earlier,
then you'll think, how can I be more expressive?
How can I share the real me?
It's a very different energy.
And with that as well,
when you realize that you are, in a way, trusted,
that you can trust the universe,
you're in the right place at the right time,
you trust yourself,
there's an energy that begins to, like, you begin to embody
that really changes your life
because of how you're showing up.
So one of the things that really transformed my life
is when I stopped giving a shit
about things that really don't matter
and I started valuing things
that really I cared about at my core.
I value authenticity, vulnerability,
connecting with other people,
and then detaching from needing things outside of myself.
That really helped too,
needing other people's approval or validation
or being afraid of rejection.
The thing is, is you can really only reject yourself.
Someone else rejects you,
you do not have to internalize it,
and by not internalizing it,
it doesn't become a part of your identity.
So allowing it to be natural for your self-image
helps also with the second rule,
which is that everything is always changing
and you can change your definition for who you are,
you can change your identity for how you see yourself,
and you can let it be natural,
like, it is natural for you
to be in that ideal relationship.
It's not like, "Oh my God, I hope he takes me back, ah!"
It's like there's a sense of self-worthiness there.
There's a sense of feeling inside of your own body.
And as you focus on those things,
it changes absolutely everything about you
as you begin embodying this new you,
as you begin being in your own frame,
as you stop attaching
to whatever everyone else wants you to do.
You let it be natural for yourself
and you understand that you are enough.
A lot of this is always tied to worthiness as well.
How worthy do I feel in this?
So if you wanna learn the frame technique, by the way,
which is the most powerful transformative process
I have ever found for transforming my whole energy,
I have a free video
that'll show you right here step by step what to do
and it will change your life.
We're gonna do this little activation exercise
that you can come back to for the next 21 days
and see how different your energy is.
Now, before, the way that I was
and the way I showed up in the world
is that I was hyper,
I was hyper attached to what people.