Tripp Kramer here from
www.trippadvice.com. In today's video
I want to be talking to you about what
scares a woman away. What makes her say
"Eww, I've had enough of this guy and
I'm not really interested in him anymore."
We're talking here about the time when
you guys maybe have been on a few dates.
I'm not necessarily speaking about
what I usually speak about which is that
initial interaction when you first meet.
This is about you guys have
met already, she's got some interest, you
have some interest and you're doing the
few things that's making her think twice
about you. Number one and number two
are very similar but they're different
in a way so I kind of separated them.
The first one is over contacting.
Over contacting. What does this mean?
This comes in the form of sending her too
many text messages, having a lot of text
message convos throughout the day which
depending on the situation, it could be
okay but it's not if she's not
responding to you. So you're just
pinging her a lot or maybe you're
calling her. A lot of people don't do
that these days anymore but I got to add that
in there. Just this idea of
contacting her too much and this scares
her away because this shows a form of
neediness. This says to the girl
"I'm not a really busy guy. I got
nothing going on in my life that's that
interesting. So I need to be contacting
you all the time." What you're doing is
you're kind of like leeching energy from
this person. Almost in a way asking them
to entertain you. Of course you're not
doing that overtly but that's kind of
what you're subliminally saying to this
person. And when a girl sees
that you're contacting her so much.
It's like he has nothing going on in his life
so what's it gonna be like when me and
him are finally together? Is he gonna be
just clingy to me all the time and not
have his own
independent life? All this stuff is
happening on a very primal level when
you're contacting her too much. How often
should you contact her. Well this is a
good question. It's hard to give you a
very finite answer because it always
depends on what's going on in the
situation with you and the girl that
you're with. But I would say that if
you're contacting her in any way; a call,
a text, a DM, a Facebook message, whatever
and she's not responding to you or she's
a very unresponsive. Maybe like one word
or something like that,
I wouldn't continue to make that a
pattern. In fact contacting her in the
very beginning of a relationship or the
beginning of the dating process should
mostly be about you making plans
with her. It's about the logistical sense
so keep that in mind. Let's move on to
number two.
Number two is kind of connected to
this one and it's the idea of showing
too much interest too fast. Now of course
if you're over contacting somebody then
that is a form of showing too much
interest and I know this sounds
extremely counterintuitive and difficult
at times because you're like "How do
I see her? How do I end up hanging out
with her if I'm trying not to show
interest? What's going on here?"
One way not to show too much interest is
that idea I said earlier about over
contacting but also I don't want you to
be saying how much you like her. Please
for the love of God, do not tell her you love
her unless you guys have been together
for months and months and months.
I don't care what you're feeling, even if
you are feeling in love. Do not say it. It's
too fast it can creep a girl out. It can
scare her away. That verbal interest
is something you want to tame
back a little bit too. Once in a while it's
fine. Throwing a compliment every once in
a while is fine but if you overdo it,
you're gonna again appear very needy and
it's gonna desensitize her.
It's nice to hear a nice compliment or form
of interest once in a while but when you
do it too much, it doesn't become as
special and it doesn't work its magic
like it should.
Number three is an interesting one. I was
thinking about this and it's this idea
of being too vulnerable too fast.
It happens you meet a girl, you guys
connect so fast and you tell
her all of your deepest,
darkest secrets or you tell her
all the childhood wounds that you once
had or you kind of spill all of your
emotions out because you guys had a
couple glasses of wine and it gets
really intense. I get it, that happens.
But you want to be careful here.
When you're getting to know someone, I don't
think it's a good idea to be spilling
too much of that emotional stuff too
fast. That's something that's better when
you're just getting to know someone over
a longer period of time.
Take your time to let her get to know you.
Don't just spill everything right away.
And I'm not saying be a
robot. Don't show any emotion.
No, we're not gonna do that here.
What I'm saying is let's balance this
out. It's okay to show an emotion.
It's okay to feel something but let's just be
honest. If you're on a second date and
you're crying in front of her I mean
this is just like a turn-off and not
because crying is wimpy or because it's
beta or whatever it is. It's just like
whoa we're just getting to know each
other and this is just a lot right now.
It just it's a little bit uncomfortable and
a little bit awkward. Again I'm not
saying don't show emotion but I'm saying
let's just let it kind of drift slowly
with the person as you get to know them.
And I'm guessing you probably want the
same thing. Can you imagine you're
sitting with a girl on the second date and she
starts crying because something
happened in her childhood and it's like we
feel bad for you but it's like I'm
just trying to get to know you right now.
Let's take it a little bit slower. I want
you to learn more about this idea. I want
to go deeper with this. I'm gonna put a
video down below called "This Turns
Women Off Instantly" to give you some
more information on what's turning women
off. Go in the description. It's another
YouTube video. Click it, watch it, write a
comment and I'll see you in the next
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