[typing] [ocean waves]
You know, I've determined there is an inherent problem with most of these "top" lists.
Especially this time of year you see pretty much everybody making one.
The problem comes when you realize that they're pretty much all troll bait.
Well I've come up with the perfect solution.
This is my Top 17 List of Games That I Want To Talk About.
This is purely a list of games
that at this very moment
I feel like speaking words.
For. About. On.
Not necessarily games that I want to review,
although I wouldn't be against it.
No. This is just a bunch of games.
Starting with #17: The Sims.
The original one. And you know why I wanna talk about it?
Because it's an awesome game and I have not played it in like
seven years.
Seriously, it's been a long time since I've played this game.
And it was fun.
Especially with Hot Date.
Just being able to actually take your Sim out on the town
and do different things other than being cramped in your own home was awesome.
#16: Xargon
This is pretty much Jill of the Jungle
in a different sort of fantasy environment
and with a dude instead of a hot chick.
And I think it's pretty much fantastic.
#15: Super Solvers Spellbound
There were approximately 800 Super Solvers games.
There are all these edutainment titles
for spelling and math.
And then there was Gizmos and Gadgets,
which was another one of my favorites.
But Spellbound?
This was the one that introduced me to the entire series, and it was freakin' sweet.
The gameplay was awesome, the graphics were sweet,
and there were word games, which are still enjoyable to me.
#14: Garfield: Caught in the Act
Also known as Garfield in TV Land
or something like that on the PC.
This is pretty much the only Garfield game that I've ever played that's actually any good.
Not to say it's great. It's pretty much a standard platformer with really,
really annoying enemy AI and collision detection.
But I'm perfectly okay with that
because I had a lot of fun with this game.
I rented it back in the day from Phar-Mor for the Sega Genesis.
And it was Garfield. Garfield's awesome and lazy.
And I can appreciate that.
#13: Sid Meier's Civilization II
So Civilization's a pretty awesome game.
This one's, uh, better, as far as I'm concerned.
There you go.
#12: Moto Racer
You know, there is just something about bikes
that go very fast
that makes a young adolescent male's testosterone flow like a river.
And this game got mine flowing
in wonderful, wonderful ways.
Nothing like doing a wheelie
to speed up... constantly.
What a ridiculous game.
Just pure fun.
#11: Midtown Madness
When I first played this game, it was fairly mind-blowing.
I hadn't really played anything like it before.
It was a realistically styled open world racing game.
And you could do all sorts of crazy stuff all over Chicago.
You could follow the traffic laws
or you could just be a complete maniac.
It's still fun.
The sequels were pretty sweet too,
but this original one, I don't know. It's just something about Chicago.
#10: Deadly Tide
Another Microsoft game that was just amazing.
When I saw it, I thought graphics would never get any better than this.
I was, thankfully, very wrong.
But whatever the case, this was just–
What in the world, man, were they doing?
It was full motion video.
But you could completely control what was going on,
the perspective, where you were moving during the video.
It was just
beyond anything that I had ever seen before.
And... that quickly faded.
But it was cool!
#9: That Rings Game
If you ever played this game as a kid, you know
that this is probably the most challenging thing you'll ever come across.
The whole idea is to put a bunch of water in this tank
and then press these little buttons, which shoots up air... bubbles
into the water.
Then you try to get the rings on the little things.
Pretty much impossible.
#8: Hunter Hunted
To tell you the truth, I haven't played this game very much,
but what I do remember is that the aesthetic was just awesome.
There was something about this environment.
And the enemies and the guy– you know, the whole lonesome feeling going on.
It was really... different.
Not exactly the best game ever from what I remember,
but it was cool.
And I wanna talk about it.
So I am,
and I continue to, and now I'm done with it.
#7: Urban Chaos
Oh, man, open world games...
This was the one that really opened my mind to the possibilities.
This was the first one that I had ever played
that you could actually go around and just beat up pedestrians
or just whatever you wanted to do in this 3D world.
Very much a precursor to the whole GTA III kind of thing
that was done some years later
I never got the full game, I just played the demo disc I got with the magazine.
#6: Hover
This game came on the Windows 95 companion CD,
or whatever that thing was called that came with so many computers back in the day.
It's a pretty straightforward capture the flag game with hovercrafts
and sweet music and sound and stuff.
But there were no demons, just hovercrafts and flags.
So... yeah, whatever.
No Nazis either, but that's beside the point.
Now it's time for #5
which is the LCD baseball game
that I played as a kid.
Tiger Electronic Baseball.
Man, this game saved my neck as a kid on numerous occasions.
If my neck were dying of boredom, I guess.
And, you know, it was just something you would whip out whenever you had the chance.
Okay... what am I talking about? Oh, yeah.
Uh, uh, Baseball. Right.
Fairly simplistic. You pretty much just hit the ball
and go around and don't do much else other than that.
But you didn't need to.
You didn't have a Game Boy,
you didn't have a Game Gear, you grabbed one of these.
#4: Hellbender
I guess I have Microsoft on the mind
because this is another one of those Microsoft games
for Windows.
Sort of a follow up to Terminal Velocity
and... that other game that was in the series.
I can't remember right now, but who cares?
This was another one of those
3D shooter. You fly around. Shoot stuff.
Things happened. It was awesome.
Also awesome, holy crap, was #3:
The Neverhood.
Ugh, I want a copy of this game so badly, but
it's extremely expensive.
And the reason for that is because it's incredibly unique
and it's just got a legendary sort of cult following status thing going on.
It's all in claymation,
and it's just an awesome adventure.
Extremely memorable characters,
very cool environments, just... wow.
What a classy game.
Next up at #2, we have Spectre VR.
This is pretty much Battlezone with more purple.
One of those Macintosh games that I loved
playing whenever I found a computer with it on it.
I didn't have a Macintosh, but
when I found one, it was pretty much SimAnt,
Putt-Putt Goes to the Moon,
and Spectre VR.
Mmm... Spectre.
And finally, #1:
Earthsiege 2.
Why Earthsiege 2? Why not Starsiege or Earthsiege 1?
Or any other the others?
Because it's Earthsiege 2!
You hear this music?!
Good grief.
Man, you're just saving the planet or something with that music.
You hear that? That's awesome!
[laughs]
I mean, how much more radical do you get
than piloting a giant robot around
with frickin' lasers!
I dunno, man, because that's the #1 game I wanted to talk about
and I've talked about it.
Alright, since you guys were
kind enough to actually get through all of the first part of this video,
I'm done kind of trolling you now.
And now I'm gonna actually talk about some stuff
that is a little more listy-like,
and that is my personal list of Top 17 Games of 2011.
Straightforward enough, these are just chosen because of how much I enjoyed them.
It's completely arbitrary, personal
and subjective. So...
I wouldn't mind hearing some of your favorites,
but screw you if you say I'm forgetting something,
because I'm not. This is the games that I enjoyed.
Heh. Limited to 17 for whatever reason.
Starting with #17 is Assassin's Creed: Revelations.
It's not bad. It's certainly not great, but not bad.
I mean, I play these games for the story and the sweet assassinating
and this one has both.
But seriously, this has rushed cash-in written all over it,
and it pales in comparison to its predecessors.
Which is why it's last on my list.
#16: Duke Nukem Forever
Speaking of disappointment,
DNF was doomed to be a disappointment no matter what.
There was just no way this game was going to live up to 14 years of hype.
However, I had a lot of fun for what it was,
and that was a game that should have come out many, many years ago,
on probably the previous console generation.
And at a lower price point. A lower price point would have helped, too.
#15: Star Wars: The Old Republic
I'm not much of an MMO guy,
but when a game like this comes along, I become one... sort of.
This is a BioWare game to its core,
and it's pretty awesomely in-depth with its story and RPG stuff.
But even though it's freakin' Star Wars, it just hasn't grabbed me as much as
say, Lord of the Rings Online did.
It's freakin' fantastic and it's got a lot of great stuff to enjoy,
but I just don't think I'll be paying for a subscription for months on end.
#14: Mortal Kombat
This is freakin' Mortal Kombat how it should be.
Crazy characters and special moves
and fatalities and 2D gameplay.
And call me insane, but I thought the story was actually pretty enjoyable, too.
Just an awesome return to form for the series.
#13: Cities XL 2012
Even though it's basically just an expansion to Cities XL 2011,
2012 is the best city simulator I've played since SimCity 4.
It doesn't reach that game's greatness,
but it's got lots of urban planning sweetness to enjoy.
I just wish it didn't bog down your system so much
and have some of the problems with...
well, the weird little problems it has with urban planning.
Otherwise, this would be higher on the list.
#12: Alice: Madness Returns
It's the sequel to the original American McGee's Alice,
and Madness Returns is a sold action-platformer
with amazing environments and that bizarre American McGee touch.
It is not going to blow you away with innovation, because it's pretty straightforward.
But its otherworldly atmosphere remains one of the most vivid gaming memories I have from 2011.
Number Next: Serious Sam 3
It's a crime that this game hasn't been getting more attention,
but alas, poor Serious Sam seems to be doomed
to an underground audience.
I guess it's not too surprising,
considering it's probably the most arcadey FPS you can thing of.
I mean, it really puts itself into its own little corner.
But it's a freaking blast to play if you like that kind of thing
and it looks incredible.
Seriously, grab this one and thank me later.
#10: Minecraft
Yes, this released this year and not 2009.
The public alpha versions have been around since then, sure,
but it only officially released in November of 2011.
That's why it's on the list
and it's also why I haven't placed it higher on my list.
It's an incredibly engrossing experience
for those with any kind of imagination
and a love of creating things, and LEGOs.
But I played the crap out of this *last* year.
It would have been much higher on my list if it came out last year.
This year, the charm has started to finally wear off.
#9: Terraria
This one really took me by surprise.
I had heard it was just a 2D Minecraft clone,
but thankfully it's a whole lot more than that.
Sure, you've got mining and crafting,
but there are lots of adventure and RPG-like elements thrown in
that really give it a sense of progression that Minecraft lacks.
It's strangely addicting, too,
so make sure you set aside a full day or so before playing it,
or else you may end up like me
and realize it's *tomorrow* before you realize it's not today.
#8: L.A. Noire
What a classy game.
Serious, just pure class.
It's an adventure-mystery game set in Los Angeles in the 1940s,
but with that good old Rockstar touch.
Sure, it's got some flaws that really set it back
and there's some room for improvement,
but I thoroughly enjoyed most of the story
and look forward to whatever comes next in the series.
#7: Crysis 2
Lots of people bashed this game for being watered down or consolized
compared to its predecessor, but you know what?
It was one of the most enjoyable single-player first-person experiences I had in 2011.
It's much more of a linear game, to be sure,
but you can argue that it's much more focused
and it actually allows for more intense action
and higher stakes with the whole gameplay.
And the PC version with the DirectX add-on looks freakin' amazing.
So if you're a graphics whore, this one is definitely one to grab.
#6: Saints Row the Third
Well, what can I say?
It's Saints Row, for the third time,
and the insanity has been increased once again.
Although I really didn't enjoy the story or most of the characters
as much as I did in Saints Row 2,
the other additions included in The Third
make it an experience I'm glad I didn't miss.
And it's gonna sound sappy, but whatever.
This made me remember why I started playing games in the first place.
Because they could be stupidly fun.
And this...
is *stupidly* fun.
#5: Driver: San Francisco
This is yet another one of the biggest surprises of the year for me.
I loved the original Driver game,
but wasn't a big fan of the sequels,
so I had little to no hope for this one.
But I took a chance and played it,
and holy crap, this is easily the most fun I've had with a racing game in years.
Racers have taken themselves too seriously for too long now,
but this one says, screw the rules.
Let's have fun with awesome cars and completely over-the-top story.
#4: Battlefield 3
Usually, I buy a game for the single-player,
and if it has good multiplayer, then whoop-de-doo.
But this is the first time since Unreal Tournament that I've bought a game for the multiplayer
and didn't touch the single-player hardly at all.
Do you want massive fields to battle on of the third variety?
This is your game.
It could definitely stand for a user interface overhaul,
but other than that, I love this game.
Nothing else has released more adrenaline into my bloodstream this year.
#3: Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Once again, this is one that I was prepared to dislike but ended up loving,
and that is the third game in the Deus Ex franchise.
As far as I'm concerned, this is cyberpunk done right.
The atmosphere, the story, the characters,
the overtone of everything.
And then to top it off with fantastic stealth gameplay
and solid shooting and enjoyable exploration?
Yes. Please, can I have some more?
This game deserves your time,
whether you're a fan of the original Deus Ex or not.
#2: Portal 2
I find it hard to think of anything wrong with this game.
Seriously.
Valve have done such a good job with this game
that I think it even surpasses the original, in most respects,
and that was one of my favorite games of the past decade.
Great puzzles, amazing atmosphere,
extremely memorable characters,
superb dialogue and an incredible ending.
Not to mention a ridiculously enjoyable co-op campaign with free DLC.
This was my game of the year, all year,
at least until #1:
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
This is ending up on everybody's list, but why?
Why is *this* my game of the year
when it's buggy, has a crappy UI
and has some very questionable game mechanics?
Because while I can nitpick about this game all day long,
the fact of the matter is that I have never played a first-person RPG
with such a rich, diverse and beautiful world to explore.
And to me, that counts for a lot.
As long as the level of immersion is a lot greater than the level of...
non-immersion? [laughs]
Then I'm cool with it.
Not to mention that there's a crazy amount of interesting quests and stories to take part in
and that I genuinely cared to see through to their conclusion.
And then you've got the modding community on PC,
which have already taken the game to new heights
and the official creation kit hasn't even come out yet.
I've put about 140 hours into it so far,
and for as many games as I play, that's a lot.
There's just no question in my mind what my Game of the Year is.
Skyrim earns that title completely,
and it can wear it with pride.
And I am done talking about the games that I want to talk about.
I'm probably done with lists for a while, because, heh–
Lists, man. What's the point?
Arbitrary collecting of games.
Assigning them numbers.
Why?
But what I'm not done with is reviews.
Let's see, what's coming up next?
There's a Sims 3 review that's coming.
Of course.
It's that time of the year.
And there's also a hardware review or two in the works.
So, stay tuned for that.
And lots of other games of all varieties.
Not to mention the I'll Play Anything series
starting up here soon.
And Oddware. And all that other good LGR stuff.
So stay tuned, if you're still here.
If not, well then, I guess I'm not talking to you, am I?
Maybe I am. Maybe you're still hearing me.
And you're not actually here. In that case,
I apologize. I did not mean to speak
directly into your brain.
For those of you that are actually listening,
uh, see you later.
Enjoy... life.