Today we put the paste to the taste!
Let's talk about that!
♪ (theme music) ♪
Good Mythical Morning!
Mythical Beasts, a question is an egg.
You place it in your shopping cart next to your green peppers, onions,
cheese and ham. You take it home to make an omelet.
You take all of those ingredients, and you wash them.
Carefully prepping them for the pan that's sizzling on your stove.
But as you're cutting you mistake your finger for a yellow pepper and you slice
right through it bleeding into your question ingredients! But does
that stop you? No! Because you consider it extra iron in your omelet!
And you superglue your finger back together because answers are more
important than stitches. Now you're getting hazy from the blood loss.
You wonder if you could just dump the eggs in whole, but then you remember that you
have to break a few question eggs to get your answer omelet, Beasts.
So you smash them together and then whip up those gooey entrails into a froth.
Then finally, you fry your questions up for three minutes on each side,
and then you dump your answers on your plate.
It's a Denver answer omelet, and it's delicious!
Well it's got part of a finger in it, so I don't know.
Uhh--the point: is we asked you to ask us questions about morning routines!
Because we invite you to make us part of said routine.
- Ahhh! - Haley Rebecca Bain asks us:
"What's the best time to shower: morning or night before bed? Does it
make a difference?"
Here's the thing: I am morning "shower-er"...
- "Showawa"? - "Showowo."
- But I am ashamed of it. - Oh, that's a predicament.
- Because my answer is: you wanna be a nighttime
shower-er if it all possible. It all comes down to...
- It is possible! Just shower at night! Like, are you--Is somebody...
- ...holding you at gun point? - I mean like--if you like--
trudged through sludge on the way to your bedroom you're gonna take a shower.
That being said, I believe that there's a lot of unseen sludge that your trudging
through in life, and you need to maintain a zone of cleanness in your life,
and that has to be your bed. You want to keep that thing clean.
But how dirty are you getting during the day?
I mean, if i get extra dirty--which I don't do anything that makes me dirty, but --
I know -- but, even when you don't think you're dirty, you're oozing oils all over your bed.
I'm marking myself. I'm marking the spot on the bed.
That's my side! It's got my oil!
-There's a hair oil spot on your pillow... -Yeah, there is.
- ...that you wanna sink into that the next night and the next night and the next night?
And it keeps building up? It becomes a nasty sponge.
Okay. I'll be honest with you. I don't disagree.
I think that night showers--there's all kinds of fun, taking a shower and getting in the bed
the sheets feel better, you feel clean. -You know it's a safe zone, of cleanness.
But the reason I'm a morning shower-er is because of
all the stuff that comes out of my nose in the morning.
I'm sorry, I'm just being completely honest here.
(crew laughs) - What comes out of your nose?!
I don't know, all kind of stuff. I mean, there's snot and boogers. It's crazy!
- It's like, if I took... -Blow your nose!
I do: in the shower. The steam just empties it and I think sometimes if I miss
a shower in the morning, I'm like: it's still in there, the stuff that could be out,
and go down the drain is still in my nose! I don't want that in my nose.
Am I the only one that has this happen in the shower?
- I mean, I blow my nose occasionally. - We got some "Amen"s in the corner.
- There are no "Amen"s; there are no hands going up.
Drew was like pointing at me and saying "Yeah, my nose..."
Does your wife know about this? 'cause it's her shower too.
- Yes, we have two shower heads. - But you have one drain.
I face away from her when I'm getting rid of...
I don't wanna know if she's in there. That's not what I'm saying.
- Well, she's not in there all the time. - Let me ask another question because...
- ...this is gettin' worse. - Not all the time.
- H. L. Burke asks: "What can I replace my toothpaste with so it doesn't
make my orange juice taste awful?" - Well, first of all, H. L. Burke is my favorite author.
- It just sounds like an author. - Sounds like an author.
This is a common problem because toothpaste does screw up the orange
juice drinking experience, so what better way to find out what kind of
toothpaste you should be using to minimize that effect than playing:
"Taste that Paste with an O.J. Chase...r!" - So this is not just a fun game...
- ...but this is a bona fide test! - Science!
Now, you may say right off the bat: "I drink my orange juice before I brush
my teeth, because of the taste."
But why be limited to that if we can come up with something here?
- Right. - If we can make a discovery...
And I always brush my teeth first, I know people like to eat breakfast
before, but I do it right when I wake up, so...
Yes, two shower heads, we get it.
Stuffs comes out, my wife is there...
So, what we're gonna do is we're going to brush our teeth with a variety of...
It's really great.
- ...different types of toothpaste, but after each brush we're
gonna sample the orange juice and give it a gross score in a scale of one to ten.
So, the tooth paste at the end with the lowest score, like golf!
- Is the one you should use... - Winner!
- ...if you are a morning OJ drinker. Let's get right to it.
(both) Round One: Mint.
This is an awesome toothpaste that comes with medical tape over the brand.
- Yes, right. - But it's mint flavored, and that's all
that really matters. So I'm gonna (tongue raspberry noise) it on there.
It's called "Crust."
- And then you, put it on there. - New, from Rhett and Link, Crust toothpaste!
And um...I'm gonna brush.
You do a lot of breathing when you brush.
Well, I don't hold my breath.
- This is becoming like an ASMR video. - This is a good toothbrush too.
- Soft bristles, I like soft bristles! - Uh-huh!
Brush your tongue, you wanna really get it on there.
(Link spits loudly, crew groans) -Give me the communal spit cup.
And the a little bit of... (water swishing in mouth)
Ok, I'm minty fresh, I'm ready to start my day...
-We have the budget for a second spit cup. -No we don't.
I think we do.
As I'm walking out of the door, to begin my Mythical day...
- ...I got a little sip of OJ. -Hey! Mornin' Link! Heeey!
- Whoa - Ahhh, Not good.
- It hits hard. - I mean, it's what you think...
...it is because you've experienced this once and then you said:
- "I ain't doing that again." - Yeah, I say, for me it puts the orange
- juice at a gross factor of seven. - Yes, I was actually gonna go...
... with seven too, so let's go with seven. That's a cumulative of fourteen for that one.
- Seven and seven! - Let's move on to the second toothpaste.
- (both) Round Two: Cinnamon!
Alright, the next up toothpaste we have is covered in red tape.
- Ooooh, it's cinnamon! - Christmas!
Christmas is a long way off, boy. Don't get your hopes up.
I do not use cinnamon toothpaste regularly because...
- You do today, don't you? - ...and normally I smoosh it down.
- I distribute it down it the bristles... - You did like a commercial
- amount of toothpaste. - But I just did a commercial amount
- in a commercial presentation -I don't do commercial amounts. I do that...
...much. I like it, it's like a cinnamon roll. I should do this.
(crew giggles)
This is business!
The loser has to drink all that at the end. There's no loser.
Ok, I'm gonna change my experiment just a little bit.
I'm not gonna rinse because I feel like I get a better measure of how much
the toothpaste impacts the orange juice if I just spit but don't rinse.
Ok, I'll do that too. Ok, so, very...
...cinnamon-y. It like I've been sucking on a candy cane all Christmas.
Here we go.
- That's peppermint. - Oh!
- You got cinnamon candy canes at your house?
- Yeah! - Invite me over, man!
Mm, That's bad, that's actually worse.
Wow
- I'm gonna give that an eight... - That's an eight.
- I'm just gonna inch it up.. - I was gonna say eight!
- It's worse, it's worse. - We're on the same wavelength today!
So, if you have to choose between those two and you're an OJ post-brush-drinker,
you know where to go now.
But let's press on, we've got more stuff to learn!
- (both) Round Three: Bubblegum!
Ok, next up we have--bubble gum,
with a white piece of tape over this and a black--
You know what? Screw it!
- (Link) Look at that! It's a cat! - (Rhett) It's Hello Kitty!
- (Link) No no, It's just a cat! Hello, it's just a kitty! - (Rhett) It's a generic cat!
- (Rhett) Yeah, hi, cat! - (Link) Hello, generic kitty.
And there we're gonna slather this on there.
Look at that, commercial presentation.
This is my backup career. Look at that.
(Rhett) I'm not even gonna try it.
- That's not in my DNA. - Give me that.
- Everything is messy. (crew groans in disgust)
That's stuff is good!
Hold on, that's not advised.
- What? I'm not gonna... - Oh, you just add more for the brush.
Mm mmm, you chew it.
This takes me back to the dentist days.
I'm going back to this.
(garbled) What if we did our show with this much toothpaste in our mouths,
the rest of the year?
(garbled) The ratings would go through the roof.
"Doodoodoo." (imitating Rhett) "Da waiting wiw go doodoodoo."
- (Rhett giggles softly) That is gettin' so nasty!
- It looks like... -I've got a lot in my mouth.
- ...like a cappuccino you would order in Tokyo. That's what that I think looks like.
It looks like a--If I say it, I don't have to respond to it.
- If you say what? - "Tokyo."
- I didn't say "Tokyo."
- (Rhett, in the style of an over-dramatic Japanese game show) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!
I was gonna see if I could OJ you.
Alright, here we go; let's test this out. (crew laughs)
- Alright, here we go. - Please, don't OJ me.
- Oh my goodness. - Ohhhhhhhh!!!
I thought it was gonna get better over time.
- Horrible! Oh my gosh! - The scale is gonna have to go above ten.
- Ok, that's a thirteen! - Wow, guys.
- And I really wanted that to be my new toothpaste.
- Yeah, I'm gonna give that a fourteen. (popping SFX)
That is a fourteen. I don't know what the scale goes to but,
we just busted through the roof!
Let's say the scale goes to fifteen.
Let's move on! 'Cause we got some other interesting ones.
(both) Round Four: Bacon!
And now we've got bacon-flavored toothpaste.
Oh, that's a very slender tube!
That doesn't look like something you brush your teeth with.
That's an ointment for another part of your body.
It comes in that size?! It's like hemorrhoids stuff or something.
(Link laughs)
-Yeah, that's what this is. -Not that I would know what that looks like.
Here, you apply it first. Let's see how...
- Well, apply it where? - To your toothbrush.
- Ok, I wanted to make sure! My dad made a mistake one time
when we were on vacation and brushed his teeth with something else.
(Link laughs)
- It was not toothpaste! - Are you kidd--What happened?
Did he go to the doctor?
No, he just went to the bathroom and...threw it up.
He didn't use bacon toothpaste?
Ok, bacon toothpaste.
Yeah, I'll never forget that, Dad.
And I'll never do it 'cause I always check to make sure that it's toothpaste.
Agh, it stinks!
It's like my mouth is cooking.
-Oh, man! -I really think, if I can get enough
bacon happening in my mouth, it's gonna set up for some great OJ combo.
Well, because you typically do bacon with the OJ...if you're normal.
(wet spitting sound)
Oops, sorry!
Man! It's not that hard! Just don't do the "pfft" at the end.
Ok, my mouth tastes like bacon, and that's not as great of a thing as it sounds.
Cheers! (glasses clinking)
- Now we're talking. - It's not as bad as bubble gum.
It's the best one so far. So I'm gonna give that one a 5.
I think this one is...similar in nastiness to just the regular mint
toothpaste. I'm gonna give it a seven.
Alright, we've got another one though.
(both) Round Five: Orange!
This one's interesting. I didn't know this existed.
"Zesty orange toothpaste."
Well, I would think going into this orange toothpaste should be the one
that you should use before drinking orange juice.
- I mean, right? - That's why we saved it for last, Rhett.
- Ok, it's not orange. - No.
- It's beige. - It looks like glue, or like...
- ...spackle or something. - It's got a different consistency.
Oh! It's really thin.
Oh, it's nice though.
- Okay, so... - Our teeth are gonna be really clean.
Yeah, they are. Now, I'm liking this...
- ...as just like a...a toothpaste. - I'm swallowing a little bit.
- Do it man! Get your vitamin C! - It's like I'm eating an orange sherbet.
That spit cup... is very unpleasant to look at at this point.
Ok, join me in the moment of truth Link.
Oh gosh, a lot of spit in there.
- My mouth tastes like I've just been... - (both) Eating an orange!
- Like we just got lost on an orange orchard...
- ...and the only thing we could eat or drink... - (Link) Were oranges!
- ...was oranges and orange juice that we made from the oranges.
I would get whatever the opposite of scurvy is.
Yeah...anti-scurvy. (glasses clinking)
Oppo-scurvy.
- Oh my goodness. - I'm at home.
- I found my place in the world. - There's no nasty factor at all--not in the least!
- Look at this stuff, man! - In fact just...
Of course--Yeah, who cares? Just "bglom" it in there.
- (Rhett) It could be a new cocktail. - Let's look at the ingredients.
Have you had the orange juice with the orange toothpaste cocktail?
- There are no ingredients. - (Rhett) It's so good!
It's ingredient-less! (crew laughs)
- (Rhett) There are no ingredients man; it's not for resale.
- We got it in a pack. - Right.
- I'm gonna give it a zero nastiness. - Mmm.
I actually enjoyed it
- ...of the toothpaste. - Really?
Yeah, that's why I put it in my orange juice.
I'm gonna give it a one because--it think it still would've been better,
but I don't if it was the residual paste.
- We've helped people today. - We've solved the problem---
that no one really had. - Yeah.
(crew laughs) - Well know, you know...
- ...what? H.L Burke had it. - My life is different.
Oh, yeah. H.L Burke, you're welcome.
Thanks for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
(whispers) You know what time it is.
Hi , my name is Kenji. I'm in Tokyo, Japan, in the biggest intersection
in the world. And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
If you've made Good Mythical Morning part of your morning routine, well, go
full circle! And get a Good Mythical Mug at rhettandlink.com/store!
- It makes the show that much better! - 'Cause they're circles!
Click through to Good Mythical More; we're gonna open your mail with Jen
and discover what this doll is missing!
- (Rhett) Wha-ding-a-ding-ding-ding! ♪ (Bell SFX and game show music) ♪
- Congratulations to... - (Rhett) ifreakpeopleout! You win a fan
selfie! Whoah! Here it is! - Oh, is it me? Is it me?
- Have you got a camera? - Yes, I've got a camera.
And I'm gonna hit the button, and I'm gonna turn it around.
(camera shutter)
[Captioned by Mich4jc: GMM Captioning Team]