Hello.
I’m Ben.
I’m 28 years old and I have experienced mental health from probably, quite a young
age.
In recent years, I found myself in quite dark times and experiencing really bad anxiety
and not really being listened to.
I’ve had…
I’ve experienced a fear of homelessness and then, eventually, classed as homeless
and I had to go to the council, endlessly, to explain my case.
I wasn’t really taken seriously, to start with, and I felt that the whole issue was
making my anxiety and depression so much worse.
Eventually, I got housed in a hostel for homeless people, until the council decided to make
a decision of whether they had a house [inaudible] for me or not.
It was quite scary being in there, really, because I had to walk past so many rooms and
up so many stairs, before I could get to my room, which didn’t feel very secure as there
was only one lock on the door.
I didn’t really feel safe amongst other people there and I think being gay and identifying
LGBTQ, it felt more tough because I wasn’t aware of if there was anybody else there that
was LGBTQ or if it was just me.
And I feel that being isolated like that, amongst other people, it kind of heightened
my anxiety again because, for one, it wasn’t a stable place to live.
I had to share bathroom facilities with other people in the hostel and kitchen facilities
with other people in the hostel, which made me feel more anxious and, to the point where
I didn’t use the kitchen.
And I only brought readymade food and ate it in my room, to avoid seeing other people.
I then, finally, got put into a council property of which I’m happy with.
It’s been a really long, long journey.
Looking back on what I’ve been through and how it made me feel, it’s quite a scary
thought.
I felt suicidal on endless occasions.
I ended up in hospital during that time.
I couldn’t handle the stress of the whole process.
I felt like it was something that I felt that, in a way, I felt like I knew that I was in
genuine need and I felt like I had to keep fighting and the more I was fighting, the
more I got pushed back on a number of occasions.
And I did feel like it was never going to end.
Even talking about it now brings up how dark that time was and how painful it was and how
I couldn’t sleep, how it affected even simple things like going shopping.
It affected every single aspect of my life, with fear and that’s been quite painful.
I’d like to hope that, by talking about my story, that it can help other people in
knowing that they’re not alone in the experience of housing and how it can affect somebody
and how there’s such a need for people to feel safe.