- Good morning Believe Nation.
It's Evan and my one word is believe,
and I believe that you have something special
that when you unleash it,
it will be able to change the world.
So, to help you on your journey today's message is
actively practice gratitude.
Over to you, Brene Brown.
(rooster caws)
♫ I wake up every morning
♫ Entspresso keep me going
♫ I wake up every morning
- What I found, 12 years of research,
11,000 pieces of data,
I did not interview in all that time
a person who would describe themselves as joyful
or describe their lives as joyous,
who did not actively practice gratitude.
For me it was very counter-intuitive
because I went into the research thinking
that the relationship between
joy and gratitude was
if you're joyful, then you should be grateful.
But, it wasn't that way at all.
It was really that practicing gratitude
invites joy into our lives.
When I say practice,
I think this is the part
that really changed my life,
it changed my family and the way we live everyday.
When I say practice gratitude,
I don't mean the attitude of gratitude
or feeling grateful.
I mean, practicing gratitude.
These folks shared in common
a tangible gratitude practice.
They either kept gratitude journals,
some of them did interesting things,
like at 1,2,3,4 at 12:34 everyday
they said something out loud that they were grateful for.
One of the things that we do, we say grace at dinner,
and so now after grace we go around
and everyone in my family says something
they're grateful for.
What's interesting is when we first started,
I have a first grader, a first-grade son Charlie,
an eighth-grade daughter Ellen,
and at first I thought,
and we've been doing it a couple years now,
they're going to like, "Oh god, Mom."
There was a little like,
"Are you experimenting on us?"
(laughs)
So, a little bit of that.
But, now what's interesting,
even after we did it for a couple of weeks,
that on those crazy busy nights
where we're trying to get to soccer,
and piano, and homework,
and Steve and I are just like,
we say a quick prayer and we start eating,
and my kids are like,
"Whoa. What are you grateful for?"
It's been extraordinary because
not only
absolutely does it invite more joy into our house,
it also is such a soulful window
into what's going on in my kids' lives.
There are some days when my eighth grader will be like,
"I'm joyful that there's a huge thick wall
"between my room and my brother's room."
You know, something very honest.
But, there are other days she'll say,
she had a friend whose mother recently died,
and for a month she would say,
"I'm just so grateful that you all are healthy right now."
Not only did it make us all more aware of what we had
and more willing to slow down
and really be thankful for the joyful moments we had,
but it let me know where she was emotionally in her life.
My son is always,
"I'm grateful for bugs.
"I'm grateful for frogs."
But, sometimes he'll say,
"I'm grateful that you picked me up early,"
or "I'm grateful that I finally
"understand adjectives."
There's a great quote
that says,
"It's not joy that makes us grateful,
"it's gratitude that makes us joyful."
It's by a Jesuit priest.
I guess I was just amazed to find that
bubble-up so strongly in the research.
It's life-changing.
- So, I've had a gratitude practice
for the past couple of years.
It started off when I heard,
I think it was Tony Robbins say,
that you can't have gratitude and anger
in yourself at the same time.
If you are really grateful for something,
then you can't be angry and frustrated
at the same time,
and so it's a great medicine
if you're ever feeling angry, frustrated, upset,
then just shifting the perspective
to just being grateful, asking yourself,
"What can I be grateful for?"
If you can actually feel it,
it takes away the anger, and the pain,
and the suffering, and the frustration.
So, I thought it was an interesting test.
I just started by writing three things down every night.
I had this little stack of paper, those tear-aways,
and I'd write three things down every night
that I was grateful for.
In general, I'm an optimistic, happy person.
So, you may think, "Well, why do you need that?"
But, I think there's always room
to try to get better, to try to be happier,
to try to feel more fulfilled,
to look for other hacks and tests.
Whenever somebody throws a new thing at me like,
"Hey, you should try this."
I'm like, "Okay, let's give it a shot.
"Let's see how it works.
"See if it benefits me or not."
It was something that I kept up doing.
It was something that I found some benefit in doing,
mostly just because of the perspective shift.
Just of, one, when I'm frustrated or angry,
I can try to think about what I am grateful for.
But, two, I would always try
to find something of my three things
that was a little different.
There's the common things like,
"I'm grateful for this great country that I'm in,"
or "I'm grateful for my wife,"
or "I'm grateful for my son."
"I'm grateful for my dog Teemo and his crazy energy."
But, then I would also always try
to find something that I would
normally not really notice.
I'm grateful for this table.
I'm grateful that it's a really good height for me.
I'm grateful that I can have my books on here.
I'm grateful that it looks modern and nice,
or I'm grateful for that tree outside.
Just think of things that normally would go unnoticed
and finding a way to be grateful for it,
I found just really
shifted my perspective a lot.
So, I've been doing that a couple years.
I found it really helpful for me.
I would encourage you to at least give it a shot
and see if it works for you.
The extra step that I took
that maybe is interesting for you guys
who are running a team or have a group of people is
I created a Facebook group where I've invited
the people who are on my team
who want to join in and share,
and every weekday we post three things
that we're grateful for
and one thing that we have learned today.
It's a daily habit for the people on my team,
myself and them, where we're sharing three things.
Again, I always try to find one thing
that's a little different,
like the table or the tree outside.
Just a little perspective change.
But, then also it's a great way
to be able to get to know
the other people on my team better
and what they're up to.
When you're having meetings,
you're talking about business and work,
and you might ask them about their life
and what's going on
and you learn about important issues,
but people are posting pictures
of the camping trip that they took
or the food that they ate,
and sharing things that
you wouldn't normally ask in a conversation.
It's a great way to build your team chemistry
and for people to get to know each other as well.
That was a little modification that I found super helpful.
And then just one last thought
just around the perspective shift was
I used to get really upset in traffic
and waiting for the elevator.
Those two things always really drove me nuts,
because I don't like wasting time.
Wasting time is among my biggest pet peeves,
and if I'm wasting my time on something,
I look for something else to do immediately.
But, when you're stuck in traffic,
you're waiting for an elevator,
there's not really a ton of options.
Shifting the expectation to gratitude.
So, "I'm expecting this.
"I'm expecting to get here quickly."
It's not happening and so you get frustrated.
Shift that expectation to one of gratitude,
and just saying, "What can I be grateful for?"
So, for the elevator, I'm frustrated like,
"Where's the elevator?"
Somebody's moving in and so there's one less elevator,
and I'm sitting there maybe with groceries
and I want to get up.
I just think, "Hm, you know what?
"There's this magical box
"that takes me from the basement floor
"up to the 13th floor
"where I have tons of groceries in my hand
"that I don't have to walk the stairs."
These didn't exist a while ago.
And just that perspective shift
allows me to be grateful for the elevator,
and same thing for a car.
I'm stuck in traffic.
I'm trying to get somewhere.
We didn't have cars before.
We couldn't travel those kinds of distances before.
I'd have a much limited life
if I didn't have the ability
to get in the car and drive somewhere.
If I can remember, and sometimes I need someone
around me to help shift it.
I try to tell Nina like,
"Nina, okay, if you see me frustrated,
"just remind me.
"Remind me to be grateful."
Thinking about it, having that perspective shift
immediately takes away the frustration,
the anger, the resentment, the expectations,
and moves me to a much happier, calm, grateful place.
I'd encourage you guys to try it out.
Test it as your own morning routine or evening routine.
If it works for you,
maybe encourage your team members
to come in as well or friends.
It can be a great way to get to know each other better
and keep that motivation going on a daily basis.
It might just make a huge impact on your life.
Worth a shot at least.
The question of the day today is, I'm curious,
do you have a gratitude practice?
Is it something that you've been doing for a while,
or is it something you are willing
to test out for the next 10 days
and see if it has an impact on you or not.
I love to hear from you.
Please share your thoughts and experiences
down in the comment section below.
I also want to give a quick shout-out to Yayo Cruz.
Yayo, thank you so much for picking up
a copy of my book, Your One Word.
I hope you enjoy the read,
and I really appreciate your support.
Thank you guys again for watching.
I believe in you.
I hope you continue to believe in yourself.
Whatever your one word is,
much love and I'll see you guys again
tomorrow morning for another shot of Entspresso.
♫ I wake up every morning
♫ Entspresso keep me going
- The next phase here is also
to become grateful for what it is that you do have.
So, if you're starting to try
to create change in your life,
you want to make sure that you're really focusing
on what it is that you do have in your life,
so that you feel an energy of gratitude.
An energy of gratitude can really open you up
to this incredible capacity to feel more energized,
to feel more happy.
In any given moment where you feel like,
"Oh, I don't have what I need,"
or "I'm not supported,"
or things aren't working out,
the simple step here is to just say,
"I am grateful for what I do have."
When we look and when we say,
"I'm grateful for what I do have,"
we create more of what we want.
The energy of gratitude opens our heart
and it expands our energy,
and it makes us a much more wonderful,
loving person to be around.
With that loving energy,
we begin to attract more into our life.
We want to really make sure that
that energy of gratitude is a very
pentacle part of this miracle-worker process,
which is that we stay committed and open
to what it is that we are here to receive.
And we stay committed and grateful
for what it is that we have.
You can begin today just by making
a gratitude list and focus on it.
There's so many moments when I think,
"Oh my god. I can't believe I have to do this,"
or "I can't believe I have to get to that,"
then I just think about what I'm grateful for,
and it just spins me immediately out of the crazy chaos
and back into a centered place of love.
I think that this is a really valuable tool
for you to begin to use regularly,
and it's an active tool throughout the book,
May Cause Miracles.
- If you're obsessed, you know what you want,
you take massive action,
maybe you modeled somebody who figured out the right action,
so you get there quicker, and you're executing,
you still need a little grace.
Some people call it luck,
you could call it God,
but I really believe that there's the part we do
and then there's the part that comes to us.
But, I do know
grace shows up a lot more when you do
the first two steps on your own,
and grace shows up a lot more
when you acknowledge grace in your life.
When you acknowledge that I was born in a world where
I didn't have to build this internet
that I can pull out of my pocket
to answer anything on earth,
I'm driving on streets I didn't pave,
I'm reading books I didn't have to write.
That's the gift of our lives,
and I think when we experience that grace,
we don't just experience more achievement,
but we start to experience more fulfillment.
- Grace not only affects your ability to get there,
but it affects what you do
and how you live once you are there.
- It really determines the quality of your life because
unless you live in a state of gratitude...
I did an interview with Sir John Templeton
who, as you know, is one of the first billionaire investors
and just a brilliant man.
He came from nothing and he donated,
I think it was 750, they still do it, the Templeton Fund.
I think it's $750 million a year.
It's bigger than a Nobel fund that he donates.
One day I asked him, I said,
"What is the secret to wealth?"
And he looked at me, paused.
This big smile and his eyes got really bright
like they always did, and he said,
"Tony, it's what you teach."
I said, "Well, I teach a lot of things. (laughs)
"Which thing?" He said, "Gratitude."
He said, "Because you and I Tony
"know billionaires that are miserable
"and it's because they're not grateful for what they have."
We both know people have no money, seemingly,
but they're so grateful for their health,
for their husband, for their wife, for their children.
They're so grateful to God,
they're so grateful for their life that they're rich.
I think it starts with that gratitude.
It starts with that connection to grace.
As simplistic as that sounds,
and so it's not enough to have your financial plan.
You have all the money and be miserable.
Let's have all the money and be really rich
emotionally and psychologically as well.
- Finally, waking up every morning
and figuring out, even in a difficult situation,
where the pieces of gratitude are.
So, like coming into the city
yesterday or the day before
I was stuck in traffic and I was late for something.
I was like, "Ugh, you got to go faster."
But, this is an opportunity
to solve a difficult gratitude problem, which is
it's the city I'm going to is so amazing and wonderful
that everyone else wants to be here even faster than me.