If you could turn
everything you touched into gold,
how soon would your
life become unbearable?
You wake up and discover
that you now have a superpower.
Anything your hands touch
would immediately become solid gold.
Like your bed.
Naturally, this calls for a selfie.
You reach for your phone.
But suddenly, it turns into the precious
metal right before your very eyes.
It sure is amazing.
And quite scary.
Whatever you touch,
even unintentionally, transforms.
You can't brush your teeth,
eat breakfast
or even drive to work.
And if you think you wouldn't need
to work a day in your life
with all these riches,
think again.
You'd soon understand
why you could single-handedly
make gold the cheapest metal on Earth.
So how would you manage to do anything?
OK, you try putting gloves on.
But surprise surprise.
These also turn into gold.
Yeah, it's very impractical,
but at least these golden gloves will now
act as a barrier between your hands
and your surroundings.
You'd now have to maneuver
and do everything with your arms,
elbows
and your brand-new-yet-quite stiff
golden mittens.
With your hands so out of commission,
you'd need to ask your family and friends
for help with getting dressed
and making meals.
Then there's eating.
Ever try stuffing your mouth
with metal bricks on your hands?
As you learn more about your new ability,
you might suspect that there are things
you should never touch again.
Yeah, you'd be right.
No more physical contact with anyone.
Scratching the belly
of your neighbor's cat is out,
unless priceless feline sculptures
are your thing.
But hold on for a second.
Your new power is
a little more complex than that.
Maybe everything you touch
might not be so perfect in its appearance.
The reality might blow up your mind.
One atom of gold has
79 protons and 118 neutrons.
Let's just say it's pretty dense.
Tungsten, platinum, iron.
Gold beats them all.
Which would be a huge problem for you.
Yeah, if you started running around
and turning everything into gold,
atoms at the molecular level
would become too dense
and start to repel each other.
Everything you transform would explode.
To avoid this,
your power wouldn't instantly turn
boring molecules into gold molecules.
It would shake them up
to make everything you touch gold
while keeping its original shape and size.
Except that would make objects
look kind of spongy.
Because, in this scenario,
there would be a lot of wiggle room
between these new atoms.
Well hey, better that than explosions, right?
Indeed.
Just don't trip
and accidentally touch the ground.
If you did, Earth’s entire crust
would suddenly have
a little extra give to it.
And this would be bad news
for every living thing on the planet.
The forces of gravity
would compress Earth to close up
all those new microscopic spaces.
And as the Earth shrunk, the ground
would move away from your feet.
You and everything around you
would become suspended in the air
as Earth gets smaller.
When the shrinkage stopped
and gravity kicked in again,
that's when your real troubles would begin.
You and nearly eight billion other people
would feel the deadliest body slam
known to humanity.
OK, let’s go out on a limb here
and say you managed to survive this.
Well, you’d now live
on an uninhabitable globe,
surrounded by golden globs
of dead people and animals.
Growing food would be impossible.
No plants means no oxygen.
So let's set aside
the harsh reality for a moment
to look at what would happen
if every item you place a finger on
simply becomes gold,
minus the catastrophic repercussions.
Well then you could become
really rich in no time.
Just touch one ceramic mug
and it would now be worth over $15,000.
Converting your couch
could financially set you up for life.
Goodbye student loans,
hello beachside villa in the tropics.
But don't get too greedy.
The government might become suspicious
of how you're affording all this
and wonder why you're not
declaring all this extra income.
And if the global supply of gold
suddenly skyrocketed,
its price would likely crash.
Your hot commodity might
quickly lose its value,
leaving you right back where you started
before discovering your magic hands.
There you are, months after
your power was bestowed upon you.
You wouldn't have the cash
you thought you would,
and you'd have to isolate yourself
for the safety of others.
You'd be deprived
of your human need for connection.
Soon enough, your loneliness
would make you prone to depression,
stress and anxiety.
You’d realize that the trade-off
for the golden touch
is human contact.
And that not even being surrounded
by what was once a precious metal
compares to your actual
most valuable asset.
Your time alongside the ones you care for.
You know, there are way better
superpowers out there.
Like stopping time to enjoy the moments
with people you love.
But that's a story for another WHAT IF.