Do you know what I also wanted to ask you on our first date ?
What ?
Would you eat the placenta ?
Yeah !
I would not eat a placenta, I would have McDonald's
Perfectly nutritious !
Hey this is a great tag this could be the questions you wanna ask on a first date but don't
because it's socially unacceptable tag
It's a long title !
So, what did you wanna ask me on our first date ?
I actually asked you on your first date
What do you think about gay marriage ?
And your opinions have changed since because at the time bear in mind this is like 3 years ago now
When, you know, it wasn't becoming legal since it's just becoming legal now
Yeah I was like " no gay shouldn't be allowed to get married"
- "They are mocking the institution- - *sneezes*
- Don't cry - *crying*
- It's okay - *crying*
I didn't mean it
She didn't say that, she just said : "I don't mind if gay people get married or not"
But you said you personally don't really care about it
I don't have a type obviously AND I'm bisexual so I REALLY don't have a type
It really doesn't matter to me whether you're male or female
- Or what you look like- - *whispering* loose
It just matters to me about your personality
But there are certain qualities I look for in a partner
And one of them is I have to have like real intimate closeness
Like, for example, there are some couples who, if they go to the toilet, they'll lock the door
They'll run the tap, they'll put the shower on, they don't their partner to hear they're having a poo
Or whatever. What I look for in a partner is someone who'll do all of those things openly,
In front of me
Not do they have a vagina or a penis, it's not do they have blond hair or dark hair
Excuse me
It would be : do you pee in the shower ?
Essential question !
I need someone who is comfortable with themselves
Okay, I need someone who's a rule breaker
Okay, a risk taker
Okay ? I want them to not only pee in their own shower, but public showers
You've peed in a public shower tell me
Of course
Do you know what I've also done ?
* proudly* Peed in the pool
Swimming pool that's unacceptable
That crossed my boundary
That's horrible !
I was young !...
- Well that's okay if you're really young -... really young
- Were you like seventeen ? - No.. older
- But you know what I mean someone... - Oh it's alright to pee in the shower but it's not okay
- To pee in public ! - No because the shower it's just you
And it washes it away. If you pee in the pool, you're in it and then probably other people are
Excuse me ! We were having a shower the other day and you pissed on both of us
Yeah but you didn't even know ! Also, I wouldn't pee in a bath with us both
When you meet someone on a date, you show them the best side of you
And it isn't 100% you
- Okay, a question... - Not even 50 !
No ! How many hours of Disney, in a row, could you get through watching with me
whilst I sit beside you crying, about my life
Nineteen
- I've got a question I would have loved to have asked you - Go on
Ever gone bareback into the asshole of another man ?
How.. What
*whispering* bareback
- Yeah but I don't have a penis so... - WHAT ?!
- I did it with a... - I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT
*high pitched voice* I don't wanna talk about it !
God ! I'm glad I didn't ask you that on our first date, we wouldn't be together I tell you that
- It was with a... a toy - *blabbering*
Rosie what the hell is wrong with our lives ?
- Have you ever really wanted to fart during sex but you held it in ? - Always !
No ??
- Do you know why I wouldn't give you my kidney ? - Why ?
Because you're appalling at giving things back when you borrow them
How long do you last in bed ?
Really ?
- Oow I'd have to answer like 5 minutes... - Yeah ! No you're not even 5 minutes
- Hey ! - Can I tell you something ?
- What ? - You literally have a problem
- No I don't ! - No honestly !
I can count to 2 minutes and it's over...
... with you
- That's NOT fair okay ! - IT IS FAIR !
* high pitched voice again* It's not fair, that's not fair
I take at least half an hour
Oh great everyone's gonna think that I'm shit in bed
Brilliant !
It's not true !
How many people have you cheated on ?
Really ?
I actually did ask someone that once and they were like "yeah I've cheated loads"
And then I was like
- "yeah same" *laughs* - see you later
Award for the most unattractive laugh
Nooo, do you know why ? Cause you're a cheater
Are you into roleplaying ?
I could do it if you're into it
But what kind of roleplay ? Aliens ?
Another good question on your first date that you'd want to ask but feel like you couldn't
"Is your mum a b*tch ?"
- THAT is a fucking important question do you know why ?
Do you know how many people I've gone out whith whose mums are b*tches
- Every single parent that I've ever met loves me - Loves you !
- You haven't met too many parents however - I'm a parent pleaser
But the thing is when me and one of the people who had a b*tch mum broke up
My mum said : "you know, next time you go out with someone, you have to
sort of screen their family first" genuinely what she said !
- Like a video screen - Because, if you, you know, marry that person
You're literally marrying into that family and if someone's a b*tch to you in the family
You know, do you really want to marry into that family ?
- Yeah ! Mix it up ! Yeah, yeah I do ! - Do you really want to...
- ...Cause families get involved - Yep !
Yeah !
Right, Rosie imagine we're on our first date
Right ! And we're gonna do it all again but ask the questions we actually want to ask each other
Go !
- Hi ! - Hi !
- Do you want a drink ? - Yeah !
- Do you drink ? Excessively ? - Yeah ! Maybe !
- Okay, are you an alcoholic ? - No !
- Do you have tendencies ? - What's with the 5th degree ?
What's the freakish disease you have that makes your head so big ?
- Is it like inflation or water ? - Wow ! Wow !
- Okay so you're saying that hum looks matter to you - Yeah looks matter to me ! They don't matter to you ?
Oh really well they obviously don't because I'm with you !
How many have you slept with today ?
Are you one of those people
who is never serious EVEN in sex
Hey I'm serious in sex okay
I'm seriously fast
How would it end though if we'd ask all theses questions ?
I think I'd say, at the end, I think I'd be like "do you know what ? I'm still gonna give you a go"
Cause I really like you
After the question you couldn't answer about how many people you slept with that day
I'd probably have left about 10 minutes ago, okay then
- Don't say that !
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Bye guys take care love you