Why don't I play a game with the audience here tonight?
Doesn't that sounds like fun?
(audience cheers)
See?
It's what people want.
So, here's what I thought I'd do.
(claps)
I had this fun idea.
I thought I'd come up there in the crowd
and have some of you share three interesting facts
about yourself.
It's a new game we're calling Three About Me!
♪ Fun surprises guaranteed ♪
♪ When Conan learns Three About Me ♪
♪ Three ♪
Okay, here we go.
See, we're having fun already, right?
(audience cheers)
Yeah!
I can feel the energy!
Is Tim Carroll here?
Tim Carroll?
Right here.
Oh hey, how you doing Tim?
Good to see ya.
Hello, it's good to be here.
Alright, hey Tim, okay this is cool.
Here's how we play.
Just tell me three interesting facts about yourself
so we can get to know you a little better,
how 'bout that, okay?
Well I'm really not that interesting, but okay.
Three things about me,
I'm allergic to potatoes.
Allergic to potatoes.
Well, that's interesting.
That'd be a problem for me,
'cause I like my potatoes as you can tell.
And what's the second one?
I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 33 years old.
Whoa!
That's pretty old.
That's pretty interesting.
Tell us sir, is there a third fact you want us to know?
Let's see.
Oh yeah, I belong to a sex cult.
(audience laughs)
I'm sorry, what was that?
Right, I should explain.
I'm not allergic to sweet potatoes and yams.
Just regular potatoes, so thank you.
(audience laughs)
(applause)
Okay, well hey, hey.
Alright, we're just getting started.
We're gonna move on now.
There's a, is there a Karen Kuman here?
Oh, that's me.
Oh Karen, hey!
Give Karen a hand, everybody.
How you doing, Karen?
(audience applause)
Alright Karen, let's play Three About Me!
(laughs)
Tell us three interesting facts about yourself.
Okay well I'm ambidextrous.
I have an identical twin sister.
Oh my God, you're a twin?
That's really interesting.
Are you guys close?
Oh, well yeah I see her all the time.
We're in the same sex cult.
(audience laughs)
Okay, moving on.
You have a seat.
Have a seat, let's talk to this young man right here.
How 'bout you?
I belong to a sex cult.
Okay, alright.
(audience laughs)
Sir?
Sex cult.
Oh for God sakes!
Oh what else?
And I'm also allergic to potatoes.
Okay no, okay.
This isn't okay.
Is there anyone else?
Anyone else?
Anyone that has--
I've got something I'd love to share.
Yeah, we're not going to you.
Okay?
Definitely not you, not tonight.
Does someone please, for God's sake
have a fun fact that isn't weird or creepy
like a hidden talent or a tattoo, or--
Oh, I have a tattoo!
Oh hey, stand up.
Oh wow, hi, how are you?
Okay, great.
Tell us about your tattoo.
I actually have two of them.
I got this one when I turned 21.
Oh, yin yang sign, that's cool.
Yeah.
And I got this one last week when I joined a sex cult.
(audience laughs)
Alright, okay.
Let's cut to the chase.
Raise your hand if you're in a sex cult.
Just raise your hand if you're,
oh for God's sake.
Oh this is just absurd.
Okay, great.
That's fan...
Oh for God's sake.
Really?
Everybody here?
(audience cheers)
Trying to play a game and everyone's in a sex cult.
Okay, well guess what.
Guess what.
I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Ladies and gentlemen, sign me up for the sex cult.
Sad news today.
A local sex cult has decided to disband immediately
after late night TV host, Conan O'Brian threatened to join.
Well yes, it's a sex cult.
But we do have standards.
And when Conan joined it was just humiliating.
And not the good kind of humiliating.
How am I supposed to tell my friends
that I'm in the same sex cult as Conan O'Brian?
Ugh.
Time to move on to bigger and better things.
I've got an interview this week at Ann Taylor Loft.
I only wanted this one thing.
Thanks, Conan.
Truly a waste of a perfectly good sex cult.
(audience cheers)
Screw all of you!
To hell with you.
We'll be right back, Aubrey Plaza's here.
It's ridiculous.