- Hi, I'm Ashley Graham
and this is my Glamour Unfiltered.
[relaxing music]
What's still so frustrating about the conversations
that we're having today,
that I was still having 20 years ago when I started
was, "How do you feel confident in your body?
"How do you dress for your body?"
And it's the label conversation.
It's all about how I look and how I feel.
You know, just because I am a size US 16,
and just because I'm over 200 pounds
and just because I am in luxury a lot,
doesn't mean that I need to have this constant conversation
about what it takes to feel so confident within myself.
Just because I'm a big girl doesn't mean that I need to have
this constant confidence conversation.
Like to me, it's so mind blowing, like,
why are we not asking thinner women,
what does it take for you to be confident as well
because I think that it's not just about the exterior.
Sometimes it's about the interior.
[upbeat music]
Labels, labels, labels, labels, labels.
Everybody wants to talk about labels
and it sucks because we live in a generation
where there's a label smacked on literally anything
and anyone and I think that we need to get over it.
I don't wanna be personally labeled
because of a number inside of my pants.
I don't think that men are labeled based off
of a number inside of their pants and this is just,
you know, from my own experience,
something that I have found to be divisive in so many ways.
So I think we get rid of the labels.
We treat people as the way that they wanna be treated
and that's it, sounds so simple,
but yet it is so hard for some people to understand.
[upbeat music]
I do a lot of prayer.
I do a lot of speaking out loud to myself.
Affirmations are a big deal for me
and a lot of times I record them into my phone
and I repeat them over and over again,
so that when I'm getting ready in the morning,
it's not like I have to spend an extra 10 minutes
on affirmations, I'm actually listening to it,
my own voice on my phone.
So it's like I'm programming myself.
You create the world that you wanna live in
and it's very important that you put the effort
into manifesting what it is you want
and I think that it's easy for people
to say the word manifest,
and it's easy for words to say affirmations,
but if you're not putting in the work
and you're not doing a daily deed to create that world,
then you're not actually going to feel hopeful
for the future.
[upbeat music]
Everything changes when you have a child.
I'm always thinking of creative ways to be better for my son
and making smart choices has been very important.
I want my child to live in a beautiful, clean world.
It's the same when you're speaking about
the fashion industry.
When you're talking about sustainability, you know,
it's all about everybody doing their part
and putting one foot in front of the other
and making sure that we're creating a huge impact
to create change.
[upbeat music]
Self-doubt has been something that I feel like everybody
has had to deal with in such a big way
and I've had imposter syndrome.
I've also felt as though is what I'm doing
even making a change or, you know,
am I making a big enough effort
and I think that things that are supposed to change
and things that are supposed to stick,
those are the things that sometimes take a while
and slow and steady wins the race.
[upbeat music]
A good place I started when I wanted to find resilience
in myself and where I did find it was when I first moved
to New York and I wanted to quit.
I had been bombarded with an industry that kept telling me
you're not good enough, you're not skinny enough.
You're not big enough.
I wanted to give up.
I told my mom, that's it, I'm coming back to Nebraska
and she told me,
"No, Ashley, your body is going to change someone's life."
[upbeat music]
Filters, face tune, the high-end Photoshop, I hate it.
I hate it so much because I think back to the younger me,
who, if there was social media around,
when I was 15 years old,
I would have been crying
and I would have been so upset that I had so much cellulite
and my favorite celebrity didn't.
There's a big confidence issue that's happening now
and I think a lot of it has to do with Photoshopping filters
and morphing yourself into something
that you're definitely not
and I think that it's so important that if you have
a platform that you talk about those struggles that you had
and that you still have,
because there's somebody who's going through that,
that you're gonna change their life
by just telling your story.
[upbeat music]
One of the biggest experiences and aha moments I had
in season two of "Pretty Big Deal" was with Demi Lovato
and she told me the word body positivity
is not one that she can actually relate to.
What she can relate to is body acceptance.
I was like, "Can you please explain?"
She said, "Ashley, I can't get out of bed
"and say like thick thighs, you're so beautiful."
She was like,
"Because I don't feel that my thick thighs
"are so beautiful."
but what she can say is thick thighs,
you are strong today and you're getting me out of bed.
Thank you and so it's just those little bit of shifts
in your language to not make it a lie to yourself,
but to make it an encouragement to yourself,
to shift your thinking.
[upbeat music]
The most important thing to remember
walking into our new normal and walking out of a pandemic
and you know, maybe you're stepping into a new body
is to remember that you're not alone,
that your body is strong, that your body is your body.
If you don't have body positivity within yourself,
maybe think about it from body acceptance
and remember that this is your one body
that you've been given.
Treat it well, speak to it kindly
and remember that the younger people that are around you
are watching and I think for parents,
it's really important for you to remember that your children
are watching how you treat and talk to your body
and that's exactly how they're gonna treat
and talk to their bodies.
So just keep that in mind, no pressure.
[upbeat music]