IYANLA (VOICEOVER): Jeremiah is a 27-year-old transgender male.
He told us that his father, a Pentecostal preacher,
disapproves of his lifestyle.
I went to meet with his dad, Brother McCain.
But so far, I feel that he's holding
back and not really telling me the truth about
how he really feels.
Can you talk to me as a father, and not as a biblical scholar?
[LAUGHS]
Really, I mean come on.
Because you know, what let me get real with you for a minute.
Get real, get real.
If you've been praying all these years
and it ain't changed, either your prayers
are not efficacious, or you need another God.
No, I never prayed that it would change.
Well what did you pray for?
That God was give her a mind to seek him.
She has sought God, and she has found peace in her heart
about her life.
OK.
And she feels in her heart, that because of the choice
that she's making for herself, that you will disown her.
No.
OK.
I want you to see this.
Tell me what this is.
Cynthia [INAUDIBLE].
IYANLA: What does it say right--
BROTHER MCCAIN: Decree to change your name.
IYANLA: OK.
So do you know what that means?
It's just changing her name, that's all.
From to what?
From Cynthia to Jeremiah.
Yeah.
In her heart, and in her mind, and in her spirit,
Cynthia is Jeremiah.
Well, Cynthia will always be Cynthia.
Well then that's not accepting wha she chooses for her life
I'm still going to treat her as my baby, my girl.
Even when she shows up in your presence, not as a girl,
but as a man?
She does that now.
Mr. McCain, I know how hard this is.
Yes, yes.
Hear me with your heart, not with your head.
Cynthia doesn't exist any more.
What does daddy say when he sees his--
what he knows to be his daughter, dressed like a man?
She's still my child.
They say love is blind.
Well I hope it's blind when Jeremiah shows up in your face.
I hope it's blind then.
[LAUGHS]
Yes, ma'am.
IYANLA (VOICEOVER): Oh, I am getting
frustrated with Brother McCain.
It must be a hundred degrees in this church.
So I'm struggling to keep my makeup on, and to keep my cool.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I want you to tell me how hard it is.
I don't want you telling me all these nice, sweet words.
I don't want you quoting me the Bible.
I want you to tell me how hard it is for you as a Black
man to see your daughter walking down
the street looking like a dude.
You have to stand in your daughter's face,
and she is about to have surgery that's going to transition her
from being a female to a male.
And all of that sweet talking and Bible quoting
is not going to help you then.
I live by it, and I'm going to tell you the truth.
It hurts.
Tell me what that means.
It hurts because I see myself.
That's my child.
Can you accept that God would give a ministry of love
and acceptance and the power of the Holy Spirit
to a transgender individual?
I can't answer that one.
I can see you as a piece of work and a handful,
because you're going to be right.
And I love the Lord. [LAUGHS]
Yeah.
Which fruit of the Spirit do you need to practice?
- Long-suffering - And what about patience?
- Patience. - Yeah.
- Virtue. - Yeah.
- Kindness. - Yes.
- Have you been kind to her? - Oh yes I have.
- You have been? - I mean, I do
Calling her names.
I have called her names.
Yes I have.
And that's-- what fruit of the Spirit is that?
Now that was--
I was wrong for that.
And I admit that.
You have asked her forgiveness.
- Oh yes I have. - That you were wrong.
Oh yes I have.
But you know, she didn't hear like that.
I think you're in for a rude awakening, Mr. McCain.
There are hundreds of thousands of parents sitting right
where you are, in total horror and dismay
that their greatest dreams and hopes
and wishes for their children will never come true.
It will, if they love them and hope.
The word of God is yet in her, so that's what I rely on.
OK.
And here's the word of God for you.
Fear not.
BROTHER MCCAIN: Be not dismayed.
Fear not.
BROTHER MCCAIN: Yes.