OSCAR: We interrupt this program just 'cause
we feel like it.
So there!
And now, here's Anderson Cooper of CNN filling in for
Oscar the Grouch of GNN.
ANDERSON COOPER: This is Anderson Cooper in for Oscar
the Grouch who's on assignment at the dump.
I'm here with two legendary grouch newscasters, Dan
Rather-Not and Walter Cranky to discuss today's letter in
the news, the letter G. Say hello, Dan Rather-Not.
DAN RATHER-NOT: I'd rather not!
ANDERSON COOPER: Walter?
WALTER CRANKY: Grrrrrr!
ANDERSON COOPER: I can see this is going to be a tough
assignment.
Now, our latest GNN news poll shows that some grouches think
the letter G is a grouchy letter because it starts
words, like goo.
Guh, guh, goo.
And garbage.
Guh, guh, garbage.
And gastroenteritis.
Guh, guh, gastroenteritis.
But some grouches think the letter G is not a grouchy
letter because it starts nice words, like good.
Guh, guh, good.
And gumdrop.
Guh, guh, gumdrop.
And giggle.
Guh, guh, giggle.
We'll ask the experts.
Do you think the letter G is grouchy or not grouchy?
Tell us, Dan Rather-Not.
DAN RATHER-NOT: I'd rather not.
ANDERSON COOPER: That's what you're here for, though, to
give us your opinion.
Come on, just tell us what you think.
DAN RATHER-NOT: I'd rather not.
ANDERSON COOPER: How about you, Walter Cranky?
Is the letter G grouchy or not grouchy?
WALTER CRANKY: Grrrrrr!
ANDERSON COOPER: Can you elaborate?
WALTER CRANKY: Grrrrrrrr RRRRRR!
ANDERSON COOPER: All right.
Let me ask the question in another way.
[LOUDER]
Is the letter G grouchy or not grouchy?
Tell us what your answer is, Dan Rather-Not.
DAN RATHER-NOT: I'd rather not.
ANDERSON COOPER: Walter Cranky?
WALTER CRANKY: Grrrrrrr!
ANDERSON COOPER: I knew you were going to that that.
I've been in some tight spots before, but
nothing compared to this.
Think, Anderson.
What would Oscar do?
OSCAR: I'll tell you what I'd do.
I'd answer the question myself.
ANDERSON COOPER: I should have thought of that.
OSCAR: Well, you got a lot to learn about
grouch journalism, Cooper.
Of course, the letter G is grouchy.
It's the first letter word "grouch." Guh, guh, grouch!
How much grouchier can you get?
ANDERSON COOPER: Do you agree?
Tell me, Dan Rather-Not.
DAN RATHER-NOT: I'd rather not.
ANDERSON COOPER: How about you, Walter Cranky?
WALTER CRANKY: Grrrrrrrr!
ANDERSON COOPER: These guys never answer the question.
OSCAR: Yeah, that's what made them great.
Well, this is Oscar the Grouch of the Grouch News Network.
Join us tomorrow when our guest will be Meredeth
Beware-a and Diane Spoiler.
Care to join us?
ANDERSON COOPER: I'd rather not.
OSCAR: Well, all right.
That attitude could get you a job with GNN.
ANDERSON COOPER: Yech.
Never!
OSCAR: You're hired!
ANDERSON COOPER: Arrrgh!
OSCAR: We now return you to our
irregularly scheduled program.