you've been there for so long and it's such a big decision so just allow yourself that space and
that time to kind of come to terms with that and to accept and be aware that this isn't a simple
thing okay so forgive yourself hello and welcome to not your forever job the show that helps you
figure out what you're doing in your career what you truly want and how to make it happen
i am hayley loren an engineer and career coach and today on the show we have another question that's
come in which is all to do with kind of fear of changing jobs so let's jump into the question hi
haley i've been working for the same company for eight years and i feel it's time to leave deep
down i know it's the right decision but truthfully i'm scared i'm not sure why but i just fear it
will all go wrong what should i do and this is from ben so thank you so much ben for this one and
you know what i completely understand where you're at i really do get it because i remember
when i was feeling this as well like that first moment when you kind of realize or maybe you've
realized for a little while and you know it's time to leave but you've been somewhere for so
long that you're kind of comfortable and you're kind of scared about leaving because you don't
know what's on the other side that kind of fear is so natural and i'm sure because you've been
there for so long as well you've got kind of friends and you know the people and you might
kind of have some loyalty towards the company as well so it can be really really difficult
so what i've kind of done is i've thought about some of the kind of steps that i went through that
i found really really helpful and i think they'd be helpful for you as well so i've got eight steps
that i kind of want to walk you through and if you go through each of these one by one then you
will get to a place where kind of the fear drops away and you can start kind of progressing forward
so let's jump into these steps shall we so step number one is to accept to simply accept that
you want to leave and i know this one this might sound simple but the thing is is that you need to
kind of leave yourself time and allow yourself time to get to a place where you feel ready
and often these thoughts will just fly into your head like oh i want to leave i'm not happy
and you might dismiss them or you're scared about them but if you just allow it to kind of be there
and to really sit if you just sit at work and look around and be like am i ready to leave this place
do i want to leave this place because the thing is it's more like a relationship if you've been there
for so long for eight years that's a long time to be at a company or even if you've you know if
anyone else listening has been with their company for a few years you kind of build these bonds you
know they've helped you if you've been there since you graduated from university maybe and they've
helped you through kind of your youth in your 20s or through a particular phase of your life then
you feel kind of you feel loyal at the end of the day you feel loyal to them and you have been loyal
you've put in a lot of time you've put in a lot of effort with them so to leave is a big decision and
it's not the same as choosing to leave a job if you've only been there for a year or
just switching between companies it's bigger than that and i think it's so important to just accept
that it is a big decision and to not beat yourself up because you've not actually done
anything about it yet it's actually just looking at it and being aware that it is hard and it is
upsetting and of course deep down you're going to hope and wish that they would just suddenly
give you your dream ideal job and they would change their culture and change everything that
you find irritating about the company but it doesn't work like that most companies you know
if they've been around for a long time they are what they are they're not really going to change
and the only way that you're going to get exposure to a different environment and more skills
is to leave and to move forward and you need to give yourself time to actually come to terms
with that and to let go there is that kind of letting go moment really just like if you're
breaking up with somebody you have to come to the decision that you want to break up with them
you have to kind of come to terms with it and then the difficult thing in the company is that
you've got to stay in the relationship technically even though you're not happy
it's a bit like you know i'm sure some people broke up over lockdown or something and they
still had to live together for a year even though they were ready to break up it's a bit
like that you know you've got to continue with your job until you find another one so that can
be really difficult as well so all of this all of this emotion no wonder you you feel scared
it's so natural that you would feel scared because you know you've been there for so long and it's
such a big decision so just allow yourself that space and that time to kind of come to terms
with that and to accept and be aware that this isn't a simple thing okay so forgive yourself
for not doing anything about it yet and know that it's normal so number two step number two is to
diagnose so diagnose the situation just like you you know a doctor would you know if you're
not feeling very well if you're not very happy you have to diagnose it you have to figure out
okay well what exactly are you scared of what is your biggest fear about leaving is it kind
of not knowing if the situation will be worse at a different company is it having a lack of security
are you scared that you're not going to be good enough to get another job anywhere else really dig
deep into why you're scared because when you know why you're scared and the root cause of that fear
you can start kind of understanding okay is this fear is it something i can control
can i gain more skills in order to get the job that i want or can i do a financial plan
to make sure that i have enough money in between jobs you know it's there are steps that you can
take to combat those fears then there are other fears that it's just your mind like the demons
in your mind kind of putting you down like saying you're not good enough you don't deserve another
job and all of this sort of rubbish which is there to just hold you back it's like the slime
this oily slime that just kind of like covers you and it's important to kind of see through that and
to realize that just because you know you believe that you're not good enough it doesn't mean it's
true you will be good enough and there will be a company out there who will really value you
and it's it's important to start building up your confidence around this as well
so that's the next step which is diagnosing the situation so once you've done that once
you've given yourself time and you've accepted where you are and that you want to leave once
you've kind of diagnosed and figure out why you're scared like truthfully why you're scared
then you can start looking at options so step number three is get clear on options so this is
a really simple thing because you might have more than one option in front of you it might be that
you don't need to leave necessarily it might be that you can move through a different department
or maybe you can go on second to a different kind of country or maybe there's a different
part of the company that you can move to depending on where you are and what your company is like
there could be other options within it as well so this step is all about brainstorming coming
up with as many options that are available to you so an option is to leave another option could be
maybe if you didn't say specifically what you want to leave for and what you've got going on
in your life but if you have a side project or a dream job that you want then maybe another
option is actually going part-time where you are in your job and spending half of your time kind of
earning money and keeping that security and then your other time kind of spending that focusing on
your dream and moving that forward then there's the option of staying where you are that is an
option you could choose not to leave or changing departments or trying to ask for different
types of work you know there's so much that could be available to you you might not only have
the two options of either leave or stay there might be many more options available to you
and to help with the diagnosing and the looking at all of the options available to you i do have a
career clarity starter guide on my website so it's completely free and you can just go and download
it and this will help kind of you to figure out what it is about your job that you don't like
and maybe some of the next steps of what you actually want so definitely head to my website
i'll put the um the link below and go check that out so then step number four
is exploring each option so this is kind of like a testing phase so before you just
leap into kind of starting a new job or trying to decide exactly what you want to do you should test
test out different ideas like look at each of those options and have conversations with people
if you need to have conversations internally with your company have those conversations if
there's anybody that you can meet up with outside of work who can offer advice this is also a stage
where you can kind of update your cv and look at all of the transferable skills that you've got
and remind yourself of all of the projects that you've been on i mean eight years is a long time
so by now you have a lot of experience so this is about kind of collating everything together
and really kind of exploring and getting clear on where you're at right now before you start trying
to take those next steps of moving forward so step number five is get support so you're going
to make a big decision here you don't need to do this by yourself and you know it's very common
that people feel like oh you need to do everything alone but no you've lean on your friends ask your
friends ask your family and you know that's what coaches are here that's what i'm here for as well
career coaching it's what these podcasts are for it's why i kind of work with clients it's why i do
one-to-one coaching and group coaching as well so you know reach out and really get as much support
as you can because that is going to help you to succeed in your shift and to make sure that
you're actually heading in the direction that you truly want to go so step number six which
is one that is a theme i think across many of my podcasts my podcast episodes i mean which is
follow the fear it's important to recognize at this point right now that you've started exploring
options and you've started kind of having conversations with people and looking at your cv
you will start to feel scared again you've already said that you feel scared which is natural
but what's also natural is that the fear is going to keep coming up because this is a change this
is a difficult process you're stepping outside of your comfort zone so it's important to recognize
like how freaking awesome you are for taking this step even to look at it and to assassin's
options so many people just stay in the same job for years and years so where you are right now
and what you're doing even listening to this episode is the first step which is
incredible so celebrate that and know that fear is part of this process because you're stepping
out of your comfort zone it is only natural to feel scared and in this situation fear is good
fear is a good thing i know it feels bad but the fear is actually beneficial it's a really really
positive thing in this because it means that you care it means that you're doing something new it
means that you're going to be venturing into new territory into a new adventure
and that is why life is worth living and i've said this before and in my other episodes that
following the fear is part of the process cool okay so step number seven then is taking small
actions so once you've identified the options and once you've started having conversations
with people then you can start filtering these options out so it might be clear to you that maybe
option a b and c are more obvious ones for you that you want to go down this is where you need
to start thinking okay well how can i put this into action how many jobs do i need to be applying
to how many people should i try and connect with on linkedin how many conversations should i have
a week and start booking things in your diary they're actually going to help you move forward
because the important thing is that at least every single week you want to be taking one
step towards making this change if you're able to do kind of one a day or maybe one every other day
you know set yourself some goals and some targets because this is what is going to keep you on track
and help you moving forward then after all of this and around all of this step number eight
which to me is is such a big big big thing and it's kind of a mistake i think that people forget
really people don't tend to focus on this on and this is about looking after your mindset through
this process you can be so hard on yourself you can have such high expectations or you can be
you know allow yourself to get into these spirals of thinking negatively or feeling bad because
you get rejected from a job and therefore you won't be able to get another one and you know
it's it's important to remember that anything to do with careers is difficult and it's hard
and you need to look after yourself and when you look after yourself this is what's going to make
the process more enjoyable it's going to make it help you keep healthy and it's going to help you
show up in interviews as your best self as well right so look after your mindset and to do that
definitely check out some of my previous episodes because i have got one on kind of positive
mindset tools which i think would be really really helpful so these are the kind of major
eight steps that i think you can work through now and i think this gives you a lot to do right
and there's much more obviously that we could dive into details in all of this but i think if
you follow each of these steps it's going to help move you forward it's going to help you progress
and i think you will feel kind of more in control and that's the thing that you want here
you know when it's about change you want to control as much as you can which is only natural
and this process will help with that so thank you ben so much for your question it was a really
really valuable one and i hope that anyone else listening if you're listening right now that you
have taken notes and you're going to try and put some of this in action yourself as well
now if you need any more help then i have a weekly email called the career boost that i send out on a
monday morning here in the uk it could be a different time if you're in another country
but it's on a morning so it gives you that kind of boost on a monday morning and it's that extra
support that extra weekly support that you need to kind of get you through the week so if you
want to sign up for that then just head on over to my website the link will just be below it's
hayleyloren.com forward slash coaching and also if you have any burning questions or you know
you need help with anything do get in contact with me i really really want to carry on answering your
questions so just send me an email you know if you send me an email it's actually me that you're
emailing it's not a robot it's not somebody else i don't have a pa or anything like that it's it's me
genuinely me so please get in contact my email is hayley haleyloren.com i would be very happy
to answer your emails and thank you so much for joining me today and i will speak to you next week