hi I'm Nancy agostini I worked for Dave for over 23 years I started as an intern when
he was still at NBC and I finished as co-executive producer at CBS when the show ended in 2015.
when I was writer's receptionist for the show sometimes I got to fill in and help in like
PA duties Jimmy Smith was a guest when he was still on NYPD Blue and I don't remember
how it happened or what happened but somehow he ended up in a hotel room around the corner
and he ended up like doing naked push-ups and he ended up in the shower it was all completely
bizarre but I remember I had to go over there with them and I had to go to a store on the
corner and buy new Underpants for Jimmy Smith so that he could go home when it was over
you know when you left your hotel you know somebody else is in that hotel right now oh
well here HAL turn on the hotel camera this guy right here Jimmy Smits is in the hotel
freshman yeah that's right there he is
he was on the
did you guys leave a giant blue dot in the room because we apparently found it for you
all right stop it and then there was the time we did the week of shows in Los Angeles and
I was so receptionist and there was a change in the top 10 list Dave crossed off a few
of the jokes and Rob wrote the new jokes in on the blue card handed it to me and I went
to Chiron to go fix it I messed up and I misunderstood which jokes were wrong so when Dave read the
jokes that night on the show he got like six five four and the audience went whoa because
what he was saying was completely different than what was all in the Chiron and of course
when we aired the show that night they fixed it and made the Chiron match what he said
so then it made no sense at all that like regular jokes the audience just directed whoa
but it was all because I messed up offering free upgrade on next Hertz rental yep thank
you number four ladies and gentlemen trying to lure them out of hiding with carload of
tacos yeah
yeah
all right all right number three ask the Menendez brothers to get in touch if they hear anything
uh number two before sinking putt takes a good look in the cup to make sure they ain't
hiding there
and the number one way OJ is searching for the real killers watching real killer night
on Jeopardy there you go
somehow I think it's the dog's fault must be the dog got into the file got out the wrong
list it happens every time for the last maybe 10 years of the show I somehow became Barbara
gaines's permanent sub at the podium but we did a piece that was you know what you do
to end the summer and one of the jokes was that you know don't eat the charcoal briquettes
and for some reason the way they made the charcoal brigettes was they used brownies
and with black food dye and I guess no one tested them beforehand and I didn't think
to ask anyone to test them beforehand but then on camera Dave took a bite of the Brownie
and his whole mouth just turned black like black black black black knives at the podium
thinking oh my god I've killed Dave
it's a truck over here
you know I
I
oh
talk about a good look that's a good look
thank you hey how you doing sweetheart good more weird help Daddy flip the burgers
[Applause]
all right I'm running a fever
they look okay to you duck the one person who always made me feel comfortable talking
to them was Tom Hanks he was always game to do anything so one time he came on for a Christmas
show and he did this bit where he had a piece of mistletoe that he held up over the camera
lens and pretended he was like giving everyone at home a kiss for Christmas under the mistletoe
at the commercial break I remember he was telling a story about Germany and like the
the architecture in Germany and he had these art cards so I brought them up to Dave as
we were coming to the end of commercial Tom Hanks started doing this thing and he like
motioned me over and I thought oh my God what did I not put out here what did I do wrong
what did I forget for Tom Hanks our favorite and then this is what happened [Music]
days ago they're gone
sometimes I would tell a story up in the dressing room or up in the offices and then the story
would end up on the show too I told Dave a story about when I came to Hawaii and we went
to see Don Ho and we did a meet and greet at the end and somehow at the end of the show
Don Ho like hugged me in this creepy creepy way and like laced his fingers through my
fingers it was bizarre the whole time I was in there just thinking someone please get
Don Ho off me and then every so often on the show just out of the blue Dave would be in
the middle of the monologue and go someone get Dono off of me so we're pulling out all
of the stops for the February ratings period and we are doing something called this very
popular so I went to The Late Show a secret mystery word phrase and nobody got it tonight
and no one's got it no so we had another five thousand dollars of the jackpot tonight's
secret mystery word phrase was somebody get Don Ho off me once again nobody got oh my
God tonight secret mystery word phrase somebody somebody get done oh off me yeah so we add
another five thousand dollars and we'll be playing again tomorrow the part goes back
a lot that is the phrase we did this one piece on the show called it's better to have Lou
Rawls and not need him than to need Lou Rawls and not have him and that was the whole bit
like there's a whole thing about it but now in my family that's our short hand now for
like you know oh we might go to the beach we bring a towel we might go to where it might
range we bring an umbrella and we always just say let's Lou Rawls it and that means bring
it just in case yes can I uh can I interrupt you just what is it Alan I'm sorry sorry I
wanted to introduce I want to introduce a special guest that we have sitting in the
green room tonight oh really oh sure go ahead Alice ladies and gentlemen sitting in the
green room all night long Mr Lou Rawls
because it's better to have Lou Rawls and not need him then need Lou Rawls and not have
him back to you Dave thanks Alan whenever it would snow in New York Dave would always
want like a bin full of snowballs behind his desk that he would throw the camera throw
behind the window and things like that one day when it was snowing he called me over
to the desk and this is what happened we do this whenever it snows outside one of the
stagehands is thoughtful enough to go out and get me a bucket of snowballs oh boy do
that uh and uh late this summer horsing around on a a skateboard I fell off and damaged my
shoulder so badly as to immobilize it even to this day so I can't I can't throw can't
throw this throw a snowball but our producer uh Nancy has volunteered agostini Kim she
said I'll be happy to throw something foreign that's good that's now just now you're getting
your range
[Music]
that's unbelievable
one of the really sweet Traditions at Letterman was Dave would always announce major life
events marriages births things like that so I remember when he announced our wedding and
he announced right before the viewer mail and we were so excited backstage like oh my
God this is so amazing and then he started asking people if they were going to the wedding
and he asked Paul who said oh I wasn't invited and then he asked Jerry Mulligan who was a
character and said oh I wasn't invited I just like it went from this amazing world like
oh my God he's talking about my wedding too hopefully stop talking about my wedding I
have an announcement to make ah let me see if you know this you know who's getting married
tomorrow I I tell huh you know please tell no do you know where you're just playing dumb
I don't I don't what do you mean you don't know how can you not know I don't know well
it could be is it someone on our staff yes not only someone on her staff two members
of our staff and not only that late Show's cutest couple ever getting married to each
other that's right you don't know this I know it I know it I didn't know it was tomorrow
are you going to the wedding by the way um yeah
Gerard are you going to the wedding I wasn't invited
that seems about right there was an opportunity to go with Biff Henderson to Eagle base in
Bosnia for a Christmas special I remember a few things from a trip I remember every
Soldier there thanking Biff for her service in Vietnam I remember getting a challenge
coin which is something the military gives you if an officer gives you the coin you have
to be able to produce it whenever you see him or her again out in the world otherwise
you owe them a drink but I remember being able to come home and tell Dave about that
story about the challenge coins and then I remember Dave making his own and we all had
oral wide pants challenge coins do you have someone special back home yes my wife Kirsty
you have a picture of her yes dude I have someone special back home too you want to
see [Laughter] Sergeant tell me what do we have here uh what we have behind me is an
M1A1 Abram's main battle tank and how much does it cost to operate this thing I sort
of be a whole lot of money [Music]
if I promise to only say nice things can I yell at you like drill sergeants do you are
a very attractive man you're heavy Soldier you are a very attractive man you smell good
soldier I want to be your friend you hear me those pants are very flattering on you
when I was at the podium I this year would be the control room and this year would be
Dave on stage Dave for some reason got it in his head he wanted to play some Eagles
music which it turns out is very expensive to clear music rights and that they're very
litigious but I just remember being at the podium and just hearing this year was just
no no no don't let him play it and this year was Dave and Paul and everyone on stage being
like let's play something let's play something and then I'm just trying to like talk to Dave
and be like no don't play it no don't play it no don't play it no don't play it it was
insane how expensive is too expensive well like like how much what are we talking about
well I don't know it's like every time like we play one song one song one song probably
like a thousand dollars all right pick your favorite Eagles song and we'll we'll hear
it
how much is it
so if we play an eagle song we'll get sued is that correct yeah
yeah but for the Eagles music you know what they want if we we can play it but you know
what it'll cost us for taking one song one song take a guess got to be more than a thousand
then oh yeah is it five thousand dollars more than five thousand really at ten thousand
dollars for I can't tell you what more than a hundred thousand up up half a million dollars
half of half a million really a quarter of a million dollars to play I Can't Tell You
Why all right show right I'm just I'm just dying Paul aren't you now just really dying
to play an eagle I wish I could play it it's amazing Jerry help us out here we're having
a little uh argument about eagles licensing rights and such what do you say you're the
director you're the captain under the ship what do you think I said we should play the
music [Applause]
you know what I'm not that interested anymore
when I first got hired at CBS I was the writer's receptionist and I didn't make a lot of money
Jill Davis one of the writers pitched a remote where Dave would try to find me a roommate
none of it worked out let's say so then after that they tried to find me an apartment we
realized quickly that the apartments I could afford were too terrible to show on TV they
decided Well they had to do something they wanted to like pay this off somehow make me
actually get something so they did one more remote where Dave bought me a coat I still
have the coat and the best part was each of those remotes at the time paid 500 which paid
for a month's rent so between those three remotes I lived in New York for three months
Nick hang on just a second how about this hat just slip into one of these Nancy Suddenly
It's the crazy neighbor lady [Music] all right Nancy and I are going to do the oldest clothing
store joke in the world and uh you just go get that Nick and bring him by okay
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]
[Applause] it's beautiful
[Applause] moments ago I was rocked to the very core I was out there telling jokes to
the audience came to a joke and I just I fumbled it and I hear our producer Nancy do this oh
it's like the the sound the crowd you go to a Rangers game and then somebody pulls the
trigger on a Surefire goal and he's wide of the net oh over here over a second not what
he had come on but he had it ladies and gentlemen
[Music]