Think about it this way
You're trying to do well in a class and you get a bad grade
okay, so
You're in this little frame you want to get a good grade that isn't happening.
You got a bad grade. Okay, What is it that's
Manifesting itself as the bad grade. Well, you could say well, It's a c-minus on a piece of paper. It's like well
That's you know really, no, that's the objective manifestation
You've got a piece of paper with a c-minus the value-free
Proposition is that you've been delivered a piece of paper with a curve on it a little you know negative sign
Well you think well that's what that is well you know it's as dopey as thinking well here
You got your failing grade you go into the lab, and you like weigh it on a scale
Then you burn it and see what it was made of it's like well. Why did I get so upset about that?
It's just paper. It's like
No
That's not just paper
It's an entity that exists in a web of connections, the fact that it's signified by paper is almost completely irrelevant
What is it the answer is: you don't know, and that's why when you pick it up
You get this paralyzed sinking feeling because your limbic system is a lot smarter than your
Perceptual systems and your perceptual systems say well that's a piece of paper and your limbic system says nah
for sure dragon
Right, right and so then you're sweating, and then maybe you put it away
And you go play video games because you know
better the hypothetical dragon than the real dragon and so
Instead you pull out the piece of paper, maybe and you think okay
Why did I get this c-minus?
Well, that's a hell of a question isn't it it's like, maybe you're stupid
Well that could be or at least stupid compared to who you think you are
like that's that's the real horror that's lurking there right
Like well, I thought I was kind of smart. That's a that's a
Proposition of the highest order
I thought I was kind of smart, it's like yeah, well, what about this c-minus, it's like
Well that goddamn professor right ?
that's the first thing. It's it's I've been attacked by a predator
That's the first response right
so it's it's a nonsensical message. It's just delivered by someone evil and predatory well that's
You know possible, but I wouldn't go there. I wouldn't go there first
Necessarily so but then well then say you don't go there. Okay? Well, so what is this exactly?
Do you not know what you thought you knew
Are you not who you think you are, do you not work hard enough, or your values not organized properly
Do you misuse your time, are you in the wrong field?
Is the way you're construing your life completely inappropriate?
Are you acting out what your parents wanted you to do and you're pissed off about it
So you're only running at 40% despite them despite the fact that they're paying
$25,000 a year for your education because that's a fun game. Yeah. I'll go do what you want me to do, but I'll fail
But not completely because then that would wouldn't cost you very much
I'll just fail a little bit so that you have to spend all that money
Forcing me to do what I don't want to do
But you'll never get to escape from it
and then every time we interact I'll stab you in various ways that you don't quite understand
Just to show you how irritated I am that
I happen to be acting out the destiny that you've put forward for me
So maybe that's part of the dragon right and then that pulls in the whole parent thing
and you know these are bottomless pits
Often when you when you're in the world and something objects to you something that matters
Objects to you then in the entire unrealized world is in that thing that objects. It's all tangled up inside
That's why it's the great dragon of chaos.
It's everything that's outside of your conceptual structure, and what is that?
It's everything that lurks outside of your walled city
And it's manifested itself like the snake in the garden and the easiest thing to do is say
I'm not having anything to do with that but the problem with that is
Well you get your c-minus, and you don't do anything about it
maybe you're a little bitter and more resentful
and your study habits get a little worse so the next time you get like a
D-plus, and then you collect a bunch of Fs, and then you stop going to school then you stop showering
Right, then you end up jumping off the bridge
and so that's a, that's how the dragon eats you when you don't pay attention
to it, and so it's no bloody wonder that people avoid, you know
It's really no wonder that they avoid because error messages contain within them the implicit world
Now the upside of that is
while they contain within them the implicit world and
The world isn't all negative and so maybe you get your c- and that's actually the best gift you ever got
because somebody finally
Took you and went ,whack, you know, clue in and so you take that apart, and you think oh
I don't know how to write, I don't know how to think, I've never read anything in my life
My study habits are abysmal
You know like maybe I'm working at 2% efficiency
which is probably I would suspect that you know some of you aren't doing that
but I bet you that
I bet there's thirty to fifty percent of the people in the room are working at two percent efficiency.
It's like you got it
That's so low to find that out is so optimistic
I mean if you're barely hanging in there, but you're only working out 2%
You might imagine what you could have as a life if you work it at like 50 percent
So so that the c-minus can be the best gift you ever had and that's the gold that the Dragon hoards right
that's exactly what
that means and so...